Misdelivered ham

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like a corporate holiday present and they can't really ensure the address is updated other than send an email and let them know. If the intern can't figure out how to make the change, it goes unmade.

This means 1) it's really not their fault/they're not acting entitled to your unpaid labor; but also 2) they might not care if you eat the ham.

Flip a coin - heads you drop in on their porch with a "Love From Your Annual Ham Elves" note, tails you mash some potatoes and get to eatin'.

I don't think businesses send ham as a gift, though. Lots of folks don't eat ham. Seems a bit ... ham-fisted, no?

<groan>

I'm so glad someone bumped this thread so I got to see it.

Related to the comment above, my first thought at the title was of a friend of mine who worked an absolutely awful, exploitative job.

The one "nice" thing they did for her was when her father died. They sent her a ham.

Allow me to rephrase and add context.

Upon the passing of her Muslim father, they sent a vegetarian a ham.

That’s so awful that it’s awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember this thread, she decided to delay the ham’s return, but as it got closer to xmas the neighbor showed up T her house and demanded his ham.

She tried to shut the door in his Face, but he was quick and wedged his foot into the door frame.

He said ... lady stop being a jerk.... and just give me the ham it’s for me and my fam...your tactics work... deliver my ham or I’m calling the Man... this is not right and I don’t want to fight. Just go get my ham .... now go on, scram, scram.... so she went to the kitchen and pulled out a knife...gave him a choice the ham or his life... She slid slowly towards him with her dagger well hid .... just like a badger ... she was itching to fight so with a low growl she lunged right toward him and gave him a fright... she cut off his finger and slapped hard him twice ...as he flew out the doorway she cackled good night . . .next thing she knew he was out if her sight... so into the kitchen she went with said knife....pulled out the damned ham and cut off a slice.

Or maybe she just gave him the ham and my stories a sham...

Freaking brilliant post.

Why thank you. I get a bit punchy after midnight, and I love honey baked ham!

[Anonymous]

I would just eat it.

If they come asking for it, you have no idea what they’re talking about. After 3 years, it’s your ham now.

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Please test your neighbor by ordering a ham sent to your name, but his address. DCUM needs to know if he has been worthy of your kindness all these years. This is the only way to find out whether you should have been enjoying misdelivered ham all along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please test your neighbor by ordering a ham sent to your name, but his address. DCUM needs to know if he has been worthy of your kindness all these years. This is the only way to find out whether you should have been enjoying misdelivered ham all along.

That is a genius idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:~I think this thread might get added to the DCUM classics list.

+1!!

[Anonymous]

OP, we need to know. Have you received a misdelivered ham this year?

[Anonymous]

I would likely leave the ham on their doorstep.

Just because I know Murphy’s Law would occur & just as I was sitting down w/my family for a nice, traditional ham holiday dinner the doorbell would ring and then….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we need to know. Have you received a misdelivered ham this year?

Also wondering! The phrase “misdelivered ham” will just pop up in my brain from time to time over the holidays now.

[Anonymous]

Anyone suggesting you keep it is a low-life and presumably a renter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone suggesting you keep it is a low-life and presumably a renter.

To add, would you keep medical prescriptions, too? What about a new iPad or $100 gift card? Oh, that's different? No, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Thought of you while ordering our Christmas ham. 🎁

[Anonymous]

Secondhand ham sounds like the saddest Christmas dinner.

But it would make an excellent band name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please test your neighbor by ordering a ham sent to your name, but his address. DCUM needs to know if he has been worthy of your kindness all these years. This is the only way to find out whether you should have been enjoying misdelivered ham all along.

That is a genius idea.

Totally agree. OP, please do this next year!!

[Anonymous]

So unfair. I was hoping it was OP that revived this with info about this year's ham