What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those thinking affair— my husband had more sex with me, not less. This is fairly common—at least when they aren’t “in love” with their AP. Their hormones are pumped up.

I know you post on here a lot. I am sorry for your pain. I believe you. Most people know that some affairs are for variety/midlife crisis and some are because people are genuinely lonely and have been abandoned by their spouse despite massive efforts by the partner that strayed to make things better before they cheated.

I will grant you your truth but you have to stop denying people their's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those thinking affair— my husband had more sex with me, not less. This is fairly common—at least when they aren’t “in love” with their AP. Their hormones are pumped up.

I know you post on here a lot. I am sorry for your pain. I believe you. Most people know that some affairs are for variety/midlife crisis and some are because people are genuinely lonely and have been abandoned by their spouse despite massive efforts by the partner that strayed to make things better before they cheated.

I will grant you your truth but you have to stop denying people their's.

I don't understand how she is denying other people their truth? It seems she is agreeing with the previous posters that perhaps their husbands are not having affairs, and are just asexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zero intimacy. I know it's a super common problem, trust me I have googled it to death and I know 20% of couples are sexless.

Perhaps I suppose it would surprise.people simply because we are fit, attractive and fun. Just not with each other.

This is why I am never surprised to hear people cheat or divorce. You never know what's really going on in a marriage

Such a dumb reason to divorce if all else is good in a marriage. My friend divorced her husband because of this. The guy she cheated on him with presented all kinds of NEW problems she didn't have before...oh but they did have good sex. She regretted divorcing her great husband and it basically destroyed her life.
Why most second marriages end up in divorce, or are simply worse. You trade one set of problems for another, or find out your expectations of another person are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we have time, I spank DH before he goes to work in the morning.

That's awesome. I though this was only us. Unless she forgets (and I don't remind her) I get six swats with the cane or oak paddle before I go out the door for "maintenance." The other day, I texted her a mile down the road and said, haha, got out the door without my swats. I paid for that later. I'm sure my wife would love to talk to you and swap stories.

Y'all sound fun as hell!!

Thank you. We definitely keep it fun and exciting. This is our thing now. I'm sure it will evolve and change in the years to come as we both have a very active imagination and we are very open with sharing our fantasies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That my Aspie husband has no interest in friends or socializing, that he's very self-centered and cares nothing for social niceties.

Obviously my closest friends realize some of this, but none of us explicitly talk about it. What would be the use? He's in his 50s and not going to change.

Fearing my husband is an Aspie. Feels like I’m in a one-sided relationship and it’s so only. He is 44; I am 40. We have been married for 14 years and have two children. Any advice on how to get through?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That my Aspie husband has no interest in friends or socializing, that he's very self-centered and cares nothing for social niceties.

Obviously my closest friends realize some of this, but none of us explicitly talk about it. What would be the use? He's in his 50s and not going to change.

Fearing my husband is an Aspie. Feels like I’m in a one-sided relationship and it’s so only. He is 44; I am 40. We have been married for 14 years and have two children. Any advice on how to get through?

It was after about 13 years of marriage that we realized my husband has aspergers. (When our son was diagnosed) Knowing he has aspergers made me more understanding, but it’s still a hard road. I think we’ll try a therapist who specializes in this kind of relationship. He’s a good partner in so many ways. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I hide anything. We have an awesome marriage. I actually think it’s better than people imagine. I had a friend insinuate we don’t have sex. Nope. We do. Every other day. And that’s what we both want. We are sweet to each other and often do chores for the other. I can’t imagine a better husband.

Your friend is a weird one. Perhaps jealous, I'd keep an eye on that one.

I agree!

[Anonymous]

I dress my husband up in a skirt, sexy camisole, white thigh highs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a sex room that makes the 50 Shades Red room look like your average living room.

Friends and family would be shocked to learn that (pre-COVID) we enjoy living an alternate lifestyle. We are your average married couple with no children, both with corporate jobs. Our home is modest in a suburban neighborhood with a hot tub in yard and a motorhome in driveway.

Our proclivities include having a getaway place at a local nudist resort where we are naked 24/7, enjoy one or two clothing optional vacations in Mexico and the Caribbean. DH enjoys it when I slut it up dressing in club wear and lingerie when attending adult parties, clubs and camps. The cedar chest at the foot of our bed is our toy box. Open it and many would be agast with its contents - Flogger’s, restraints, gags, rope, lines of all varieties, toys for boys and girls. We have a few adult toys that resemble pieces of sculpture on display in our home and RV, conversation pieces if you will. Some friends are intrigued others oblivious. Open the freezer in our kitchen and you might find a stainless steel toy or two chilling. That funny looking ottoman in the living room you ask, let me “rock your world”

Yes to the neighbors wondering, guests to our home do wear long coats year round and carry a variety of bags [with outfits and toys]. We respect your privacy, please respect ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a sexless marriage. I know they are common but we are both attractive and healthy so I don't know people would guess us.

We are like you. I still don’t understand how We ended there. DW here, my DH has no desire for me. He swears he loves me. We get along well. I objectively look as good or better as I did 10 years ago (Thin, taking care of myself, athletic but curvy, not bragging, just to be clear that it is not about my external appearance). Our own therapist asked if my husband was gay. I don’t think he is. No idea what to do.l

NP here and sadly we are in the same situation but my husband has a health issue (low testosterone, anxiety) that aren't being treated at the moment. I am trying to change that. PP- are you sure there's no health issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those thinking affair— my husband had more sex with me, not less. This is fairly common—at least when they aren’t “in love” with their AP. Their hormones are pumped up.

I know you post on here a lot. I am sorry for your pain. I believe you. Most people know that some affairs are for variety/midlife crisis and some are because people are genuinely lonely and have been abandoned by their spouse despite massive efforts by the partner that strayed to make things better before they cheated.

I will grant you your truth but you have to stop denying people their's.

I don't understand how she is denying other people their truth? It seems she is agreeing with the previous posters that perhaps their husbands are not having affairs, and are just asexual.

+1, and no one person can grant or deny anyone’s “truth”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a sex room that makes the 50 Shades Red room look like your average living room.

Friends and family would be shocked to learn that (pre-COVID) we enjoy living an alternate lifestyle. We are your average married couple with no children, both with corporate jobs. Our home is modest in a suburban neighborhood with a hot tub in yard and a motorhome in driveway.

Our proclivities include having a getaway place at a local nudist resort where we are naked 24/7, enjoy one or two clothing optional vacations in Mexico and the Caribbean. DH enjoys it when I slut it up dressing in club wear and lingerie when attending adult parties, clubs and camps. The cedar chest at the foot of our bed is our toy box. Open it and many would be agast with its contents - Flogger’s, restraints, gags, rope, lines of all varieties, toys for boys and girls. We have a few adult toys that resemble pieces of sculpture on display in our home and RV, conversation pieces if you will. Some friends are intrigued others oblivious. Open the freezer in our kitchen and you might find a stainless steel toy or two chilling. That funny looking ottoman in the living room you ask, let me “rock your world”

Yes to the neighbors wondering, guests to our home do wear long coats year round and carry a variety of bags [with outfits and toys]. We respect your privacy, please respect ours.

Did I miss where someone asked for elaboration?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a sex room that makes the 50 Shades Red room look like your average living room.

Friends and family would be shocked to learn that (pre-COVID) we enjoy living an alternate lifestyle. We are your average married couple with no children, both with corporate jobs. Our home is modest in a suburban neighborhood with a hot tub in yard and a motorhome in driveway.

Our proclivities include having a getaway place at a local nudist resort where we are naked 24/7, enjoy one or two clothing optional vacations in Mexico and the Caribbean. DH enjoys it when I slut it up dressing in club wear and lingerie when attending adult parties, clubs and camps. The cedar chest at the foot of our bed is our toy box. Open it and many would be agast with its contents - Flogger’s, restraints, gags, rope, lines of all varieties, toys for boys and girls. We have a few adult toys that resemble pieces of sculpture on display in our home and RV, conversation pieces if you will. Some friends are intrigued others oblivious. Open the freezer in our kitchen and you might find a stainless steel toy or two chilling. That funny looking ottoman in the living room you ask, let me “rock your world”

Yes to the neighbors wondering, guests to our home do wear long coats year round and carry a variety of bags [with outfits and toys]. We respect your privacy, please respect ours.

We are far more reserved but we have done plenty of clothing optional vacations in the Caribbean and in Europe. We often participate in the evening fun but don’t swap as we keep to ourselves but amid a large group. Our regular day jobs are conservative corporate types so people would be very surprised . The only giveaway is when I return from vacation and go to the fitness center my all over tan can be a giveaway in the locker room.

[Anonymous]

If my DH is bad, I make him go to the office with a plug in his bum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husbands diagnosed mental illness.

+1 he can’t hide it w friends or extended family when when all vacation. He tries to by “doing more office work” but that looks ridiculous and all his disappearing does too. It’s his parents family secret- most people on the paternal side have it and they hide it (via never doing new things or spending elongated time with others) and never talk about it. Ironically MIl keeps asking how the kids are doing w school, friends or talking as she tries to determine if it passes to girls... (it did to one).

What is the illness, if I may ask?
My MIL is exactly the same. Sometimes I wonder if this is how boomers roll trying to swipe s**t under the rug and pretending everything is juuust fiiine. Ugh.