What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?

[Anonymous]

I never told my husband that my dad is alive and well . My dad is a convicted sex offender, and I have very little contact with him.

My husband thinks he’s dead.

[Anonymous]

How I crave a deeper emotional connection which DW. Not sure she is capable of one. Isn’t it usually the other way around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never told my husband that my dad is alive and well . My dad is a convicted sex offender, and I have very little contact with him.

My husband thinks he’s dead.

Why hide this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I hide anything. We have an awesome marriage. I actually think it’s better than people imagine. I had a friend insinuate we don’t have sex. Nope. We do. Every other day. And that’s what we both want. We are sweet to each other and often do chores for the other. I can’t imagine a better husband.

Weird. Why would she insinuate that? Is she banging him?

[Anonymous]

After 20 years of marriage, DH and I have no deep emotional connection. Sex is good. We are friends. But don’t connect on a deeper level. I’ve actually connected more with guys at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bipolar husband a real struggle to live with, let’s it all out once home or blames me for his shortcomings. Other neuroatypical stuff driving it as well.

I’m now divorced. I hid my bipolar husband’s behavior during our marriage. His hypomania drove infidelities too numerous for me to keep track of and his drinking.

Once I told my SIL a bit about the drinking and I could see from her eyes wide open expression that she was shocked. I never told more. I figured when we divorced and I wanted his brother and wife to still be close to him and supportive because it would be good for the kids.

Over the years, this secrecy has broken my relationship with his family. They see me in an inaccurate context and thus draw false conclusions. I feel so fake and inauthentic that I can’t bear to be around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That my Aspie husband has no interest in friends or socializing, that he's very self-centered and cares nothing for social niceties.

Obviously my closest friends realize some of this, but none of us explicitly talk about it. What would be the use? He's in his 50s and not going to change.

I am in the same situation. Wish we could meet up and talk. I want to create a support group for neurotypical spouses of people with aspergers! (I’m happy enough with my husband, but would love to talk with people who can understand)

[Anonymous]

We are pretty kinky and in the beginning, I used to spank, paddle, belt, cane, etc. her ample butt a lot. Then she turned the tables on me a few years ago and now it's only me who gets it, about once a week and it's pretty severe when it happens. Anyone who knew us would think I'm the dominant one in this relationship, but that's not the case these past few years.

[Anonymous]

3-somes early in our marriage pre-kids. She was a girlfriend/good friend. It was never awkward. More friend than sexual, but sex occasionally. She was into me more than spouse.

[Anonymous]

Zero intimacy. I know it's a super common problem, trust me I have googled it to death and I know 20% of couples are sexless.

Perhaps I suppose it would surprise.people simply because we are fit, attractive and fun. Just not with each other.

This is why I am never surprised to hear people cheat or divorce. You never know what's really going on in a marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are pretty kinky and in the beginning, I used to spank, paddle, belt, cane, etc. her ample butt a lot. Then she turned the tables on me a few years ago and now it's only me who gets it, about once a week and it's pretty severe when it happens. Anyone who knew us would think I'm the dominant one in this relationship, but that's not the case these past few years.

We know, George. We know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in a sexless marriage. I know they are common but we are both attractive and healthy so I don't know people would guess us.

We are like you. I still don’t understand how We ended there. DW here, my DH has no desire for me. He swears he loves me. We get along well. I objectively look as good or better as I did 10 years ago (Thin, taking care of myself, athletic but curvy, not bragging, just to be clear that it is not about my external appearance). Our own therapist asked if my husband was gay. I don’t think he is. No idea what to do.l

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a sexless marriage. I know they are common but we are both attractive and healthy so I don't know people would guess us.

We are like you. I still don’t understand how We ended there. DW here, my DH has no desire for me. He swears he loves me. We get along well. I objectively look as good or better as I did 10 years ago (Thin, taking care of myself, athletic but curvy, not bragging, just to be clear that it is not about my external appearance). Our own therapist asked if my husband was gay. I don’t think he is. No idea what to do.l

Ever consider he is having affair or has his sights on someone? Anyone he talks about or works with that might be it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a sexless marriage. I know they are common but we are both attractive and healthy so I don't know people would guess us.

We are like you. I still don’t understand how We ended there. DW here, my DH has no desire for me. He swears he loves me. We get along well. I objectively look as good or better as I did 10 years ago (Thin, taking care of myself, athletic but curvy, not bragging, just to be clear that it is not about my external appearance). Our own therapist asked if my husband was gay. I don’t think he is. No idea what to do.l

Ever consider he is having affair or has his sights on someone? Anyone he talks about or works with that might be it?

NP here in the same situation and I am positive my spouse isn't having an affair. It's mind boggling but sometimes I think the most simple answer is my spouse has just become asexual.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I would much, MUCH prefer being cheated on, at least I would have an explanation, a reason to leave and have a sex life while figuring it all out.

[Anonymous]

To those thinking affair— my husband had more sex with me, not less. This is fairly common—at least when they aren’t “in love” with their AP. Their hormones are pumped up.