Sister in law from hell

[Anonymous]

ok, op. Whatever you say. To recap, SIL had a baby in February or so, op had a baby a month later. They tried to reason with insane sil, who is crazy and op is not. OP never did a single thing wrong. OP's brother is an angel too, he just got unlucky to marry the devil's bride.
No, this is not about two women who had babies recently and are all collectively crazy, it is just sil that is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, op. Whatever you say. To recap, SIL had a baby in February or so, op had a baby a month later. They tried to reason with insane sil, who is crazy and op is not. OP never did a single thing wrong. OP's brother is an angel too, he just got unlucky to marry the devil's bride.
No, this is not about two women who had babies recently and are all collectively crazy, it is just sil that is crazy.

Ha! Well said.

OP is hopeless. She’ll never accept that she is part of the problem (or perhaps the whole of the problem!).

[Anonymous]

Anyone else who thinks op's brother is a backstabbing douche? Do not reply, op, we heard all you had to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else who thinks op's brother is a backstabbing douche? Do not reply, op, we heard all you had to say.

Yep. I posted that earlier as did some others but OP ignores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else who thinks op's brother is a backstabbing douche? Do not reply, op, we heard all you had to say.

THIS!! When he blocked OP from texting ANY form of condolence with SIL that ended the relationship. SIL is understandably upset.

[Anonymous]

OP—. I am sorry to say that it sounds like your SIL doesn’t like you. That’s the bottom line. I don’t know about your brother. It could be that your brother is sort of blaming your SIL for things he wants as well— less contact with you. Is he a spineless kind of person? He may be afraid of offending you so he blames his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is playing you.

This is what I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else who thinks op's brother is a backstabbing douche? Do not reply, op, we heard all you had to say.

Yep. I posted that earlier as did some others but OP ignores.

Of. Purse she does, as it Doesn’t fit her narrative. Also, now knowing that her baby was born a month later, I don’t thin, her fishing for information about milestones regarding her niece are so innocent, either.

In Addition, if brother’s baby was in the hospital while OP was in the country, why would she expect the baptism during that time? Sow thing in her timing is off,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP—. I am sorry to say that it sounds like your SIL doesn’t like you. That’s the bottom line. I don’t know about your brother. It could be that your brother is sort of blaming your SIL for things he wants as well— less contact with you. Is he a spineless kind of person? He may be afraid of offending you so he blames his wife.

Don't know about spineless, but he is clearly a person that badmouths his wife, and the mother of his 9 month old baby to his sister and parents, and then erases texts in "fear." OP is guiltless ear piece who never said a word wrong about SIL, so all the bad words in these deleted texts are from the brother. This brother has clearly never said a bad word about his family to his wife, he only talks bad about his wife. SIL does nothing productive with her days, even though she is a doctor and has a nanny so she can work, and all those poor patients of hers have no idea what this spawn of the devil is faking she is trying to help them. She goes out and he is not allowed to go out. OP also is a very busy person who had no time for anything but dcum and texting her abused brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else who thinks op's brother is a backstabbing douche? Do not reply, op, we heard all you had to say.

Yep. I posted that earlier as did some others but OP ignores.

Of. Purse she does, as it Doesn’t fit her narrative. Also, now knowing that her baby was born a month later, I don’t thin, her fishing for information about milestones regarding her niece are so innocent, either.

In Addition, if brother’s baby was in the hospital while OP was in the country, why would she expect the baptism during that time? Sow thing in her timing is off,

No, op was in the country for weeks in the summer, and then horribly snubbed when baptism was two weeks later. OPs baby was a few months old, but OP had better things to do with her time, such as shoving her brother's texts to SIL's face.

[Anonymous]

OP clearly needs a job. He kids are not enough to keep her occupied. She also needs some meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it must be frustrating your SIL is not really part of your family. Her controlling behavior may be due to anxiety or she really is abusive. Regardless, there isn't much you can do, except be available to your brother. Support him now and make peace with the fact you won't have much interaction with your niece.

Thanks... that is what I am doing. It just sucks because our family is super small and we are very very close even if we live far away...

Ok so with your updates I can see why you are upset with your SIL. I am not sure if something happened when their child went to hospital. It seemed that the SIL is upset over something, maybe ask your brother if you said or did something that hurt her. Maybe it's something you don't even realise you did.

Despite that yes your SIL sounds cold and controlling. However there isn't much you can do, she is who she is. I understand it's frustrating that your family just wants to interact normally with each other and this added stress doesn't help. It just makes everything harder.

I would communicate mainly through your brother. Set up times to visit with him. Apart from that I understand why you hate her, it seems that your brother is in a tight spot so perhaps don't talk about your SIL with him, it puts him in an awkward position. Ask him about their child, it's normal to ask questions I wouldn't be put off by her attitude, at the end of the day if she is upset that you are taking an interest in their child then that is her problem not yours. As long as you are not comparing her child to yours.

Maybe it will get better with time, hopefully but it's probably something you will have to come to accept. Try to work through your feelings a little before you see her next, it won't help things if you are feeling negative toward her. I hope things turn around.

OP here. Thank you. I did talk to SIL about the hospital and I did that hurt or bothered her. When I went back this summer I made an effort to talk to her in person. I would have wanted to talk only with her, but she would not do it without my brother present... which was not a big deal. As I already said, he issue with me was that when their daughter was at the hospital I did not write to SIL directly, but only wrote to my brother. I explained her that my brother thought she was very stressed out at the time and asked us to not write on our family chat to ask about their daughter and to not contact SIL directly. I even showed her his text to me because she thought I was lying (or as she put it, “not honest”).
Even after reading the text she maintained her point that I should have texted her. Her words were “your brother told you to not contact me, not to not text me at all”.... to me “no contact” means “no text, no call, etc” ... anyway...
I think she is ridiculous for being upset for months about this after we all tried to make her reason (my brother and myself)... also, in all honestly, when my daughter was in the hospital, I couldn’t have cared less who was calling and who wasn’t... I have no idea if she or my brother contacted me. My husbands parents and siblings asked to my husband... and I am HAPPY they did not bother me...

When my niece was in the hospital, I wrote and called my brother so many times! I even showed her the 30 or so whatsup pages of messages we exchanged. I bought through amazon a welcome home gift, etc... I was a great sister, SIL and aunt...
She is just crazy and that’s it

OP, two words—cognitive dissonance.

Your brother is not telling the truth. You keep twisting the actual events to fit your narrative that he is blameless and she is the SIL from “hell.”

It’s a controlling man who tells his family to cut off all contact to a new mother who works and has a baby in a health crisis. He was passively aggressively trying to isolate his wife. So odd in fact that his wife didn’t believe it. That’s why she asked to see the texts from your phone. Are you really this naive?

However, I agree with other pp’s stop helping your brother stir the pot. Suggest to him that he get counseling for himself. Tell him to stop discussing/texting/emailing you about his marriage. His job or kid his fine but not his wife. Tell him you are sympathetic (obviously) but as an adult he needs to work out his marital problems like an adult—not with the input of his parents or siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else who thinks op's brother is a backstabbing douche? Do not reply, op, we heard all you had to say.

Yep. I posted that earlier as did some others but OP ignores.

Of. Purse she does, as it Doesn’t fit her narrative. Also, now knowing that her baby was born a month later, I don’t thin, her fishing for information about milestones regarding her niece are so innocent, either.

In Addition, if brother’s baby was in the hospital while OP was in the country, why would she expect the baptism during that time? Sow thing in her timing is off,

Based on OPs responses it is very obvious she is the problem in this scenario. She denies anything that doesn’t fit her narrative and for whatever reason- won’t address or admit that her brother is wrong for discussing this stuff with her, and that she and brother aren’t 100% innocent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP clearly needs a job. He kids are not enough to keep her occupied. She also needs some meds.

I don’t know about meds but she does seem to be unreasonable obsessing and have too much time on her hands. Most people with an infant (and two older kids) are coasting along and don’t have time for this sort of family drama.

[Anonymous]

OP you’ve been given great feedback here. Most people would never have this opportunity. The situation isn’t how you’ve thought and you need to really consider that it may be like people are describing to you. I really do think your brother is a major part of the problem. You need to open your eyes. If not, there was no point in this post.