whats the core issue in your marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DH thinks that he contributes more to the household than I do because he has a lower tolerance for mess and is the one who usually cleans. I actually think our division is pretty even because I do all the mental load

"My imaginary work that only happens in my mind makes up for his actual work that happens in the real world."

Yeah, yeah, it's not like I don't clean at all, though I could do more. It's also that he always finds the one crumb I missed and gets upset about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would say lack of sex; I would say his anger and hostility... which make me not want to have sex with him.

Isn't it flabbergasting that he can't figure out hy you don't want to have sex with him????!!!!

I get zero help around the house and my h wonders why I won;t be his sex doll.

+1000. His issue is lack of sex

My issue is you do nothing, zero.

Surely not a popular opinion on DCUM but I should make enough for you to SAHM, have someone clean the house, spend the morning in Starbucks, and then go to yoga and then you can birch at me that I don’t help.

The biggest issue is that men pursue women so the expect to be spoiled. I often wonder where my DW, from a working class family, came from. Where’s my Lexus LX, vacations to Nantucket, closet full of Lily and her and her friends look aghast that one of them might have to work. And for this I get disdain and starfish sex ? I realize now you should play catch and release with women.

This is not normal. It sounds like you chose poorly. Better luck with DW #2.

I know a ton of women exactly like PP describes. Right down to the aghast at working and everything else.

Well yeah if you hang out with spoiled shallow people then you will know many people like this.

I don’t know a single person like this. My female friends span income levels and lifestyles. Some work and some do not work. Those that do not work outside of home work hard taking care of kids and keeping a beautiful home.

Like I said before, it’s not hard to choose people who are not spoiled and shallow to date, marry, and befriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DH thinks that he contributes more to the household than I do because he has a lower tolerance for mess and is the one who usually cleans. I actually think our division is pretty even because I do all the mental load

"My imaginary work that only happens in my mind makes up for his actual work that happens in the real world."

Lol...and what do you do for a living? “Actual work” or “imaginary work that happens only in my mind?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would say lack of sex; I would say his anger and hostility... which make me not want to have sex with him.

Isn't it flabbergasting that he can't figure out hy you don't want to have sex with him????!!!!

I get zero help around the house and my h wonders why I won;t be his sex doll.

+1000. His issue is lack of sex

My issue is you do nothing, zero.

Surely not a popular opinion on DCUM but I should make enough for you to SAHM, have someone clean the house, spend the morning in Starbucks, and then go to yoga and then you can birch at me that I don’t help.

The biggest issue is that men pursue women so the expect to be spoiled. I often wonder where my DW, from a working class family, came from. Where’s my Lexus LX, vacations to Nantucket, closet full of Lily and her and her friends look aghast that one of them might have to work. And for this I get disdain and starfish sex ? I realize now you should play catch and release with women.

This is not normal. It sounds like you chose poorly. Better luck with DW #2.

I know a ton of women exactly like PP describes. Right down to the aghast at working and everything else.

Well yeah if you hang out with spoiled shallow people then you will know many people like this.

I don’t know a single person like this. My female friends span income levels and lifestyles. Some work and some do not work. Those that do not work outside of home work hard taking care of kids and keeping a beautiful home.

Like I said before, it’s not hard to choose people who are not spoiled and shallow to date, marry, and befriend.

you have no idea what your friends are like behind closed doors. do you know how they "fight" with their DHs or S/Os? When they vent, do they give you an honest, object and balanced reporting of both sides or is just her side/perspective without any means to corroborate the veracity of the claims? please child, don't be this myopic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His idea of dividing all the family responsibilities: I’ll do my best and she’ll do the rest.

Yeah, essentially this for us, too. More like: I do what I feel like, when I feel like, and she'll do the rest.

Ha! I have told my husband that he is like the first roommate to move out. Takes a few of the bigger, obvious things, but then leaves all of the little crap that no one really wants, but which is somehow 80% of what is there.

[Anonymous]

Entitled workaholic who crashes once in the door at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would say lack of sex; I would say his anger and hostility... which make me not want to have sex with him.

Isn't it flabbergasting that he can't figure out hy you don't want to have sex with him????!!!!

I get zero help around the house and my h wonders why I won;t be his sex doll.

+1000. His issue is lack of sex

My issue is you do nothing, zero.

Surely not a popular opinion on DCUM but I should make enough for you to SAHM, have someone clean the house, spend the morning in Starbucks, and then go to yoga and then you can birch at me that I don’t help.

The biggest issue is that men pursue women so the expect to be spoiled. I often wonder where my DW, from a working class family, came from. Where’s my Lexus LX, vacations to Nantucket, closet full of Lily and her and her friends look aghast that one of them might have to work. And for this I get disdain and starfish sex ? I realize now you should play catch and release with women.

This is not normal. It sounds like you chose poorly. Better luck with DW #2.

I know a ton of women exactly like PP describes. Right down to the aghast at working and everything else.

Well yeah if you hang out with spoiled shallow people then you will know many people like this.

I don’t know a single person like this. My female friends span income levels and lifestyles. Some work and some do not work. Those that do not work outside of home work hard taking care of kids and keeping a beautiful home.

Like I said before, it’s not hard to choose people who are not spoiled and shallow to date, marry, and befriend.

I have two married daughters, one who works outside the home one that doesn’t. The one who works has one child, a nanny 10 hours a day and often orders dinner via Uber Eats. The other has three children 6 and under is on the go non stop and when she isn’t she is doing home projects like painting all the outdoor shutters. Via Fitbit she averages something like 18,000 steps a day. They both work incredibly hard but choose to do it differently.

[Anonymous]

Money

[Anonymous]

Micropenis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Micropenis

That is totally on you for marrying him.

[Anonymous]

At age 53 she is done with sex. I am not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His idea of dividing all the family responsibilities: I’ll do my best and she’ll do the rest.

Yeah, essentially this for us, too. More like: I do what I feel like, when I feel like, and she'll do the rest.

Ha! I have told my husband that he is like the first roommate to move out. Takes a few of the bigger, obvious things, but then leaves all of the little crap that no one really wants, but which is somehow 80% of what is there.

I love this analogy. I was always the last roommate out and this is so true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age 53 she is done with sex. I am not.

Same, but I’m DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His idea of dividing all the family responsibilities: I’ll do my best and she’ll do the rest.

Yeah, essentially this for us, too. More like: I do what I feel like, when I feel like, and she'll do the rest.

Ha! I have told my husband that he is like the first roommate to move out. Takes a few of the bigger, obvious things, but then leaves all of the little crap that no one really wants, but which is somehow 80% of what is there.

The core issue in all your marriages is your inability to communicate with your husbands and plan a fair division of responsibilities.

Are you really so helpless that your DH can just do whatever he wants and you accept it? Pathetic! Do better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At age 53 she is done with sex. I am not.

Same, but I’m DW.

So are you saying you are done with sex? Or that you are frustrated because DH is?

If you are done with sex, and he isn't, are you giving him a hall pass? Or just expecting him to be celibate from now on because you decided you will be?