Politically Incorrect Private School Thread What Do You Really Think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parochial school parent, I find that my children's school is constantly being bashed for "below standard academics". I feel like most of the angst comes from public school/independent parents. Catholic schools in my opinion offer superior educational opportunities but cost a fraction of what the independent schools cost. I believe that public school parents secretly worry that their public school isn't all it's cracked up to be so put down my kids school. Independent parents can't fathom that someone could pay 1/2 to 1/4 of the tuition that they pay and their kids still get a great education.

I get this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

I could not agree more. But sadly, you are dead on in that these attributes are not just discounted but denigrated by our culture.

I would like to be friends with both of you.

+1

I wish there were more posts like this in this forum. Many of these posts have me second guessing our choice to apply to private schools. I'm really hoping that the cultures of the schools we are applying to are nothing like what I'm seeing in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

DS will be the fifth generation in our family to attend the Ivy and the fourth to join the same club... family tradition matters to us.

Currently DS attends public - the first person ever to attend public school. Gasp! He is in elementary school but will be switching over to the same private school for middle school that his grandfather attended and then to the private high school that his father, uncles, and his grandfather went to.

In your family, do you keep all this legacy a secret so that people won't wonder if your DC got in on his own merits or on this legacy affirmative action?

Not a secret. Why? We don't care how he gets in as long as he gets in. All our friends are various Ivy legacies too and we all assume our kids get in due to legacy status. No big deal. General admissions is less than 1 in 10, legacies 1 in 3 + extra points for big donors (which we are). Even for the most awesome candidate, everyone assumes they got in through legacy preferences if they are a legacy and they will be right. I have friends who work in admissions.

Thank goodness I don't run into many people like you at our private....that said, anyone remotely resembling your remarks would be someone I'd smile and be pleasant to and then move on. You appear to have no substance and no desire to - plus no desire for your children to either. All label and status...

I feel sorry for the kids in this picture. We know several legacies at that "1/3" school (Harvard), one of them is minority too, and none of them got in. The kid has a good chance of feeling like a pawn and a failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

This is akin to bragging that your family started slavery in the US. Nice!

It's actually not. Puritans were not slave owners. You must have gone to a public school.

Not PP, but i did go to public. And Harvard. And my parents didn't buy my spot. Moron.

Exactly why I would never pay for a Harvard education. Your statement about slavery was probably one of the most ignorant statements I've ever heard on DCUM.

Well I went to public school and then Columbia - nanananana -- and guess what? Puritans did own slaves.

http://slavenorth.com/massachusetts.htm
http://www.thefreedomtrail.org/educational-resources/article-rise-and-fall-of-slave-trade-part1.shtml

And I didn't learn that in college, I just googled it. Cuz public school kids are more resourceful that way -- we haven't had everything handed to us.

BTW -- from my really good public school on Long Island -- equivalent to a Bethesda HS -- almost all my friends went to Ivies or great schools. That's because smart is smart -- intellectual development starts at home and no amount of money can buy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parochial school parent, I find that my children's school is constantly being bashed for "below standard academics". I feel like most of the angst comes from public school/independent parents. Catholic schools in my opinion offer superior educational opportunities but cost a fraction of what the independent schools cost. I believe that public school parents secretly worry that their public school isn't all it's cracked up to be so put down my kids school. Independent parents can't fathom that someone could pay 1/2 to 1/4 of the tuition that they pay and their kids still get a great education.

I get this too.

Me 3! I ignore them. I think at the elementary level there isn't much difference in academics at any of the privates or publics. There are very subtle differences but none that really stand out. What private provides is a way to closely monitor children. It is a smaller setting. Ultimately, some kids need a much smaller environment; others do not. As with everything in parenting, YMMV as to what your child needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

I could not agree more. But sadly, you are dead on in that these attributes are not just discounted but denigrated by our culture.

I would like to be friends with both of you.

+1

I wish there were more posts like this in this forum. Many of these posts have me second guessing our choice to apply to private schools. I'm really hoping that the cultures of the schools we are applying to are nothing like what I'm seeing in this thread.

Ignore the noise! DCUM is a very small subsection of people. There will be a couple of these types at every school. They wouldn't say these things aloud though because it is anonymous. You will meet some great people and you will meet some not-so-great people. Decide what your child needs. Be thankful you have a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

I could not agree more. But sadly, you are dead on in that these attributes are not just discounted but denigrated by our culture.

I would like to be friends with both of you.

+1

I wish there were more posts like this in this forum. Many of these posts have me second guessing our choice to apply to private schools. I'm really hoping that the cultures of the schools we are applying to are nothing like what I'm seeing in this thread.

Ignore the noise! DCUM is a very small subsection of people. There will be a couple of these types at every school. They wouldn't say these things aloud though because it is anonymous. You will meet some great people and you will meet some not-so-great people. Decide what your child needs. Be thankful you have a choice.

make that *isn't anonymous*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not a secret. Why? We don't care how he gets in as long as he gets in. All our friends are various Ivy legacies too and we all assume our kids get in due to legacy status. No big deal. General admissions is less than 1 in 10, legacies 1 in 3 + extra points for big donors (which we are). Even for the most awesome candidate, everyone assumes they got in through legacy preferences if they are a legacy and they will be right. I have friends who work in admissions.

Rich Ivy League graduates, proudly benefiting from affirmative action...

(I am an Ivy League graduate, and I wish they would abolish the preference for legacies.)

[Anonymous]

As much as I would like to leave and put the money elsewhere, after years of public school the over crowding became a real issue for us. My DCs are very bright, but being somewhat quiet, they never would get into the "best" classes. So they would want to be in a more academically demanding class, and he could very easily do the work, proving it time after time, but they were always being used to fill out the slower class. We were constantly being told that he was not smart enough -- one is a junior at TJ now, the other in private. There he is "allowed" to be in the top demanding classes. The private admin approach to his desire to work hard is -- of course. We have many advanced course for you to take. I felt pretty alone with this until I met neighbors at our pool who said the same about their kids being constantly dumbed down. The public schools seem to think that there are way too many "smart kids" This is not something that we could ever really talk about except on an anon forum. A couple of great teachers did help our DS get into TJ, but others were just like I don't know your son, but I know he is not smart enough. If they said it to me, what were they saying to him?

[Anonymous]

What do I really think? Your private school kid couldn't cut it in the competitive atmosphere of public school.

Like the PP said, her son was not competitive enough to get into advanced classes so she sent him to private school.

Nothing wrong with that per se, of course at some point in his life he will probably be competing against all these smart public school kids and it may come as a bit of a shock when his mom and dad can't "pull him out" of those situations as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do I really think? Your private school kid couldn't cut it in the competitive atmosphere of public school.

Like the PP said, her son was not competitive enough to get into advanced classes so she sent him to private school.

Nothing wrong with that per se, of course at some point in his life he will probably be competing against all these smart public school kids and it may come as a bit of a shock when his mom and dad can't "pull him out" of those situations as well.

Some value *education* over test prep, which is what public school has become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I really think? Your private school kid couldn't cut it in the competitive atmosphere of public school.

Like the PP said, her son was not competitive enough to get into advanced classes so she sent him to private school.

Nothing wrong with that per se, of course at some point in his life he will probably be competing against all these smart public school kids and it may come as a bit of a shock when his mom and dad can't "pull him out" of those situations as well.

Some value *education* over test prep, which is what public school has become.

It's interesting you should say that, since my children in public school are getting an education (which I value).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I really think? Your private school kid couldn't cut it in the competitive atmosphere of public school.

Like the PP said, her son was not competitive enough to get into advanced classes so she sent him to private school.

Nothing wrong with that per se, of course at some point in his life he will probably be competing against all these smart public school kids and it may come as a bit of a shock when his mom and dad can't "pull him out" of those situations as well.

Some value *education* over test prep, which is what public school has become.

It's interesting you should say that, since my children in public school are getting an education (which I value).

Public schools teach to the test, which is not educating students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do I really think? Your private school kid couldn't cut it in the competitive atmosphere of public school.

Like the PP said, her son was not competitive enough to get into advanced classes so she sent him to private school.

Nothing wrong with that per se, of course at some point in his life he will probably be competing against all these smart public school kids and it may come as a bit of a shock when his mom and dad can't "pull him out" of those situations as well.

Really? Every private school kid couldn't cut it in the public school world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I really think? Your private school kid couldn't cut it in the competitive atmosphere of public school.

Like the PP said, her son was not competitive enough to get into advanced classes so she sent him to private school.

Nothing wrong with that per se, of course at some point in his life he will probably be competing against all these smart public school kids and it may come as a bit of a shock when his mom and dad can't "pull him out" of those situations as well.

Some value *education* over test prep, which is what public school has become.

It's interesting you should say that, since my children in public school are getting an education (which I value).

Public schools teach to the test, which is not educating students.

If you disagree with my statement, please know that the head of the teachers' union has also made this statement.