What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

Not PP you were talking to, but my son has a sleep disorder, untreatable sleep apnea. It's NOT a joke. It will shorten his life, make him more liable to develop dementia, and worsens his existing ADHD and daily capabilities. No one should scoff at such medical troubles.

Why would I pay for hotels for guests? Our house is too small for guests. We see each other at non-Holiday times, that's all.

And I’m guessing you don’t host guests then. I’m sorry for your son’s issues, but when the PPs family has the special needs they don’t get to complain about the guests they allow to stay there behaving in ways that are pretty normal (an aunt that lives out of town giggling in the am with her 10 year old niece). Besides that poster seemed more irritated with her and her husband’s sleep being disrupted.

NP- well we already determined it's a SIL (so DH probably invited her?) and she's staying for EIGHT DAYS which is nauseating. No matter the ages or inclinations of anyone in the house, you don't get up and make noise when it's still dark out and people are sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

The “food will go bad” thing is so weird. That’s what refrigeration is for? And there are people around to eat it?

Why do these people get so mad about other people eating? Eating food they bought with their own money too.

A PP said no snacks were allowed in the house. Grandma would have to know how to fight bc there’s no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

This right here is the kind of wacky I love finding buried in these threads among the house too cold/too hot, garbage police, and nobody is allowed to eat posts!

I’ve been haunted by wondering where the cooked turkey is stored.

On the patio! It's cool enough. I mean people are whining and wearing sweaters INDOORS so it's definitely cool enough for a turkey outdoors. Logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

Got you beat. It’s set to 85 here! So uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re driving to my in laws today. It promises to be a disastrous thanksgiving. My son is meeting us tomorrow, and hopefully he’s up to helping out. My MIL refused to cater thanksgiving 6 weeks ago when we still had the option, and now there will be no caregiver for my ill FIL on thanksgiving day, so now she wants to cater.

It’s too late to cater - and we bought a turkey. And all the fixings to bring with us. So I will be cooking (hopefully with my sons help), while my husband is on urinal duty and caring for FIL. My husband usually cooks the turkey. Wish me luck.

Oh, and the oven is on the fritz.

Are you even going to be able to cook the turkey??

Fingers crossed. They do have a counter top turkey roaster. I’m just going to walk the dogs (theirs and mine) every time I get annoyed. It’ll be cold - Chicago - but no one will follow me outside.

Makes me think of the cornballer from Arrested Development. How many pesos was it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

This right here is the kind of wacky I love finding buried in these threads among the house too cold/too hot, garbage police, and nobody is allowed to eat posts!

I’ve been haunted by wondering where the cooked turkey is stored.

On the patio! It's cool enough. I mean people are whining and wearing sweaters INDOORS so it's definitely cool enough for a turkey outdoors. Logic.

Are you in the Midwest? When we used to go to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, my mom would cook all this food a week or so in advance and then leave it in the garage if there wasn’t room in the fridge (and they had two huge refrigerators and a deep freeze….). I don’t think the garage was ever under 40 degrees. When the kids were little, we’d buy our own groceries and cook for them under the guise that they were too picky and needed their own food. We stopped going there for holidays around 7-8 years ago because the old food, cold house, uncomfortable beds, weird rules, etc got to be too much.

My dad has now passed away and my mom is in a small apartment. I was feeling sad that we didn’t have big family travel plans this year and wouldn’t all be together in their big house, but this thread is reminding me of how much we hated going to my parents’ for Thanksgiving! It was never the cozy Hallmark Thanksgiving that I’m picturing in my head—it was the Griswolds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

I remember a thread from years ago offering the OP ways to hide food. What kind of food are you hiding? Is it sandwiches? I'm guessing food you don't have to heat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

Gloves seem overly dramatic. I actually keep ours at 65. My kids complain. It has zero to do with money. I’m just having constant hot flashes and can’t sleep if it’s warmer. I have a fan pointed at the bed. I am very uncomfortable in other people’s homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

I remember a thread from years ago offering the OP ways to hide food. What kind of food are you hiding? Is it sandwiches? I'm guessing food you don't have to heat?

Gift basket from Harry and David that you "won" in a raffle at the office!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

Got you beat. It’s set to 85 here! So uncomfortable.

Spice tin PP here and there is literally a lock on my MIL’s thermostat out there by my SIL because she would have it at 85 otherwise. It’s 75 and she complains all day about how cold it is while my DH complains in my other ear about how hot it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

Got you beat. It’s set to 85 here! So uncomfortable.

Spice tin PP here and there is literally a lock on my MIL’s thermostat out there by my SIL because she would have it at 85 otherwise. It’s 75 and she complains all day about how cold it is while my DH complains in my other ear about how hot it is.

Are your parents/in-laws on blood thinners? Many older people have poor circulation and/or are on blood thinners and are legitimately cold. This makes way more sense to me than the people with the 55 degree thermostats! Older people also as a generalization seem to either lose self awareness or not GAF because the normal thing to do when you have guests would be to set the thermostat at 68-72 and wear more clothes if you are cold!

We are home with no guests this year. After reading this thread I am thankful for that 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm new to my husband's family. First time staying at the in-laws. The main bathroom in the hallway does not have a doorknob. This is where I'm to shower and get ready with two other families.

I asked my husband if we could check into a hotel but he said it would hurt his moms feelings.

If MIL is poorer than you (as opposed to just neglectful of others’ comfort) this bothers me less. Not everyone’s house is as nice as yours.

[Anonymous]

My IL’s are weird about the trash stuff too. They won’t use real garbage bags even when people are coming over and thus creating more trash. Just paper grocery bags in a too-large trash can, so like a PP mentioned you have to be super careful about making sure the trash actually makes it into the trash can and doesn’t fall over the side or what have you. The trash then gets emptied into a very large outdoor style trash bag, which goes out for trash pickup, and the paper bag is reused until it basically gives up the ghost. This is because as seniors, the city gives them one free trash bag per pickup, so they use the biggest size possible and then drive all their recycling to the bins at the municipal building/police station. Yes they are very cheap. Aluminum foil and plastic ziploc bags also must be washed/rinsed and re-used as many times as possible. Apparently they’ve always been like that even when both of them were working and they had 3 school age kids with busy schedules and what not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, some of us like to factor in our effect on the environment and keep the temperatures low for that reason. My husband and I keep our house temperature lower to use less fossil fuel energy. Yes, we know it’s a small effect we can have overall, but we are trying to do our part, even if it is small.

My mom says stuff like this when it’s convenient. It’s Greta Thunberg cosplay. The truth is that she is too overwhelmed to figure out how to replace drafty doors and windows or add more insulation, “doesn’t believe” in efficient bulbs or newer hot water heaters, and thinks replacement windows are ugly, and believes that a cold laundry room=second fridge, so she uses an ungodly amount of natural gas to heat the house to just above 60.

It could easily be cut by 75% if she’d make the house more energy efficient.

But then she also wouldn’t have the fun of penning everyone into the one tiny warm room or keeping us docile by slowing our heart rates down.

New hot water heat is not energy efficient. On demand tankless is.
You could just suggest she add interior vinyl storm windows, very easy to install with pressure fit. Much cheaper than new windows.
If she really wants to be energy efficient, create zones for heating/air cooling within the house. Seriously, why should a laundry room that is seldom occupied be heated like the rest of the house?
-architect, Passive House trained, LEED certified

On demand tankless might be "efficient", but it also takes forever to get hot water. Literally more than a minute of running the water in the kitchen sink to get hot water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

This right here is the kind of wacky I love finding buried in these threads among the house too cold/too hot, garbage police, and nobody is allowed to eat posts!

PP here and thank you! If it helps, my mom also covers every bed with heavy, damask, cord-riddled bed-in-a-bag bedding that is heavy and oppressively uncomfortable.