If you are a mistress, do you feel ANY guilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.

You are literally trash in human form. How does anyone with a nominally typical upbringing become so morally hollow?

Of course you are hurting his kids, by hurting their mother if nothing else. But also - is he spending time with you that he could be spending with them? Is he spending money on you that should be spent on his family? Is he short-tempered at home and starting fights because he has cognitive dissonance over his affair with you (this happens all the time)?

He is spending time where he wants to. And money where he wants to. If there are fights at home, that is not my problem; there are no fights between us.

Haaaaaaa. Why would there be fights? /u see each other only a couple hours a month to bang.

We see each other almost every day.

NP. Not on Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, family events, birthdays, work functions, children’s birthdays, life events. Because you’re not fit for family, colleagues, or respected friends and neighbors. He may sneak off to see you after-hours, but you are hidden away for the main events. Not fit.

You are so desperately jealous you can’t stand it. We will be together on Christmas, and we have our Valentines Day reservations already for a night out of town. Don’t know what he’s telling her. Don’t care. Went to St Lucia for my birthday.

I have zero interest in his “neighbors” lol. But I know his best friend, who has always disliked the DW.

And where will you be sitting at the funeral?

Please. Sounds like the AP wouldn't care enough to go to the funeral. It's all about them and how they feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think American women have made a much bigger deal about affairs than anyone else and it's caused much more problems than the actual affair itself. The way they process the affair in their minds is actually much worse than the affair itself. This happens all over the world and marriages still survive. To remain angry and possibly end the marriage is still a decision that is made by the woman. She could just as easily (much easier in fact) forgive and forget and maintain the marriage. I think media has conditioned them to over react.

The problem being that they wouldn't get the same consideration - their husband is unlikely to forgive and forget. And he's unlikely to dump his side piece, either, if his wife decides to forgive and forget. Maybe for a few months, or a year. But he'll go back.

This x 100.
Most of these cases the women stay because they have no options, not because they are some magically evolved beings. The men get have to have their cake and shtup it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

Which is themselves, because their DH wouldn't cheat if they had been doing a good job as wives.

That's not true at all.
I was involved with a married man once and he was madly in love with his wife. He just enjoyed the novelty of spending time with me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

Which is themselves, because their DH wouldn't cheat if they had been doing a good job as wives.

That's not true at all.
I was involved with a married man once and he was madly in love with his wife. He just enjoyed the novelty of spending time with me too.

How much time did you spend with him? How did she not find out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

Which is themselves, because their DH wouldn't cheat if they had been doing a good job as wives.

That's not true at all.
I was involved with a married man once and he was madly in love with his wife. He just enjoyed the novelty of spending time with me too.

How much time did you spend with him? How did she not find out?

It was so long ago, it's hard to remember. We used to text most days, during the day, and we'd see each other maybe once a week or so. Always during work hours. It was mostly a friendship and he helped me with household stuff, but we did fool around sometimes too.
As far as I know, she didn't find out. We never communicated in the evenings or on weekends.

[Anonymous]

These threads are always so sad because it's mostly married women who've been cheated on and women who've slept with married men going at each other, with the occasional married man interjecting to say yup he cheats lol oh well, and the women ignore him to keep slinging shit at each other. Men benefit from this, you know. They just do what they will and know that at the end of the day women are always going to blame each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These threads are always so sad because it's mostly married women who've been cheated on and women who've slept with married men going at each other, with the occasional married man interjecting to say yup he cheats lol oh well, and the women ignore him to keep slinging shit at each other. Men benefit from this, you know. They just do what they will and know that at the end of the day women are always going to blame each other.

Married women cheaters slinging sh@t at faithful married women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a man online that I didn’t know was married. We became friends, and talked about a lot of things. He helped me heal from my mentally ill/abusive ex. I finally opened myself to someone that I trusted. I found out later that he was married. He really wanted a loving relationship with his wife for his kids. He sent me pics of his son’s head after his wife shoved her son against a wall for not being tough enough. Who does that?

Not to justify violence, but the sort of person who's at her wits end trying to raise kids alone while her philandering spouse flirts with skanks like you who know she exists and think it's fine to insert themselves into her family anyway. It's not right, but it's understandable.

You're part of her problems. You are. No excuses. Do not facilitate cheating and then act like the wife needs to be saintly. She's being abused, and you're complicit.

I think you just *did* justify her violence. You’re getting serious side-eye from me. No one *makes* someone do that. You’re responsible for your own behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.

You are literally trash in human form. How does anyone with a nominally typical upbringing become so morally hollow?

Of course you are hurting his kids, by hurting their mother if nothing else. But also - is he spending time with you that he could be spending with them? Is he spending money on you that should be spent on his family? Is he short-tempered at home and starting fights because he has cognitive dissonance over his affair with you (this happens all the time)?

He is spending time where he wants to. And money where he wants to. If there are fights at home, that is not my problem; there are no fights between us.

Haaaaaaa. Why would there be fights? /u see each other only a couple hours a month to bang.

We see each other almost every day.

NP. Not on Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, family events, birthdays, work functions, children’s birthdays, life events. Because you’re not fit for family, colleagues, or respected friends and neighbors. He may sneak off to see you after-hours, but you are hidden away for the main events. Not fit.

You are so desperately jealous you can’t stand it. We will be together on Christmas, and we have our Valentines Day reservations already for a night out of town. Don’t know what he’s telling her. Don’t care. Went to St Lucia for my birthday.

I have zero interest in his “neighbors” lol. But I know his best friend, who has always disliked the DW.

So why doesn’t he want to be with you 24/7? There was the gloating AP on here that was a side piece for 10 years and always putting down the wife and how meant to be they were. Then one day was unceremoniously dumped. She was so upset and then angry.

😆 I think I'm the "gloating AP" you're referring to -- except, no, I was not dumped. We both divorced our spouses and are still together. I never said we were meant to be, didn't get dumped, am not upset and angry, but I know I'm the one you're talking about because I've seen the evolution of this tale you've created over the years. And even though I've corrected you before, you've got yourself convinced of this made-up story. It's kind of fascinating how invested you are in this outcome you wish had happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.

You are literally trash in human form. How does anyone with a nominally typical upbringing become so morally hollow?

Of course you are hurting his kids, by hurting their mother if nothing else. But also - is he spending time with you that he could be spending with them? Is he spending money on you that should be spent on his family? Is he short-tempered at home and starting fights because he has cognitive dissonance over his affair with you (this happens all the time)?

He is spending time where he wants to. And money where he wants to. If there are fights at home, that is not my problem; there are no fights between us.

Haaaaaaa. Why would there be fights? /u see each other only a couple hours a month to bang.

By way of introduction, I'm new to this board. Why do you hang out here? Why are you responding to this thread? Surely after this many years and a long relationship you have resolved your feelings about originally being an AP.

We see each other almost every day.

NP. Not on Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, family events, birthdays, work functions, children’s birthdays, life events. Because you’re not fit for family, colleagues, or respected friends and neighbors. He may sneak off to see you after-hours, but you are hidden away for the main events. Not fit.

You are so desperately jealous you can’t stand it. We will be together on Christmas, and we have our Valentines Day reservations already for a night out of town. Don’t know what he’s telling her. Don’t care. Went to St Lucia for my birthday.

I have zero interest in his “neighbors” lol. But I know his best friend, who has always disliked the DW.

So why doesn’t he want to be with you 24/7? There was the gloating AP on here that was a side piece for 10 years and always putting down the wife and how meant to be they were. Then one day was unceremoniously dumped. She was so upset and then angry.

😆 I think I'm the "gloating AP" you're referring to -- except, no, I was not dumped. We both divorced our spouses and are still together. I never said we were meant to be, didn't get dumped, am not upset and angry, but I know I'm the one you're talking about because I've seen the evolution of this tale you've created over the years. And even though I've corrected you before, you've got yourself convinced of this made-up story. It's kind of fascinating how invested you are in this outcome you wish had happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a man online that I didn’t know was married. We became friends, and talked about a lot of things. He helped me heal from my mentally ill/abusive ex. I finally opened myself to someone that I trusted. I found out later that he was married. He really wanted a loving relationship with his wife for his kids. He sent me pics of his son’s head after his wife shoved her son against a wall for not being tough enough. Who does that?

Not to justify violence, but the sort of person who's at her wits end trying to raise kids alone while her philandering spouse flirts with skanks like you who know she exists and think it's fine to insert themselves into her family anyway. It's not right, but it's understandable.

You're part of her problems. You are. No excuses. Do not facilitate cheating and then act like the wife needs to be saintly. She's being abused, and you're complicit.

I think you just *did* justify her violence. You’re getting serious side-eye from me. No one *makes* someone do that. You’re responsible for your own behavior.

There's a subtlety you're missing, and there's probably no point trying to explain it, as you're already giving "serious side-eye". Yes, absolutely, unequivocally, we're all responsible for our behavior AND no behavior exists in a vacuum. She's being framed by her cheating spouse as this horrifically violent human being, but there's more to that story. 1) a cheater isn't a reliable narrator, nor a reliable judge of their spouse's character. We don't even know that this is true. 2) Haven't you ever lost your temper? Been pushed too far and snapped? That's human. She's a human. It doesn't make what she did right, but it does make it easier to understand than the one-dimensional blame narrative he's trying. If she's so horrid, why isn't he home with his kids? Why is he out cheating?

And doesn't she get to have feelings about being cheated on? A lot of the women on this thread getting ugly at APs are well into abuse territory. But, again, there's nuance and detail and history there. These women aren't just rage monsters at their core. They're at their wits end with cheating spouses leaving them with the sole burdens of parenting (an impossible job under any circumstances), and then their shite spouses are talking mess about them behind their backs and some stupid AP is eating it all up like it whole truth.

And if I dare to point that out, you side-eye me? Well, okay. Be stupidly simple, if it pleases you. I'm not buying what the cheater in this story is selling.

He probably did exactly what he's accusing her of doing. It's not like the AP is going to fact-check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a man online that I didn’t know was married. We became friends, and talked about a lot of things. He helped me heal from my mentally ill/abusive ex. I finally opened myself to someone that I trusted. I found out later that he was married. He really wanted a loving relationship with his wife for his kids. He sent me pics of his son’s head after his wife shoved her son against a wall for not being tough enough. Who does that?

Not to justify violence, but the sort of person who's at her wits end trying to raise kids alone while her philandering spouse flirts with skanks like you who know she exists and think it's fine to insert themselves into her family anyway. It's not right, but it's understandable.

You're part of her problems. You are. No excuses. Do not facilitate cheating and then act like the wife needs to be saintly. She's being abused, and you're complicit.

I think you just *did* justify her violence. You’re getting serious side-eye from me. No one *makes* someone do that. You’re responsible for your own behavior.

There's a subtlety you're missing, and there's probably no point trying to explain it, as you're already giving "serious side-eye". Yes, absolutely, unequivocally, we're all responsible for our behavior AND no behavior exists in a vacuum. She's being framed by her cheating spouse as this horrifically violent human being, but there's more to that story. 1) a cheater isn't a reliable narrator, nor a reliable judge of their spouse's character. We don't even know that this is true. 2) Haven't you ever lost your temper? Been pushed too far and snapped? That's human. She's a human. It doesn't make what she did right, but it does make it easier to understand than the one-dimensional blame narrative he's trying. If she's so horrid, why isn't he home with his kids? Why is he out cheating?

And doesn't she get to have feelings about being cheated on? A lot of the women on this thread getting ugly at APs are well into abuse territory. But, again, there's nuance and detail and history there. These women aren't just rage monsters at their core. They're at their wits end with cheating spouses leaving them with the sole burdens of parenting (an impossible job under any circumstances), and then their shite spouses are talking mess about them behind their backs and some stupid AP is eating it all up like it whole truth.

And if I dare to point that out, you side-eye me? Well, okay. Be stupidly simple, if it pleases you. I'm not buying what the cheater in this story is selling.

He probably did exactly what he's accusing her of doing. It's not like the AP is going to fact-check.

⬆️⬆️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parishioner who had an affair with my friend's husband had a blog. There are a couple entries about God and guilt and blah blah blah in it. She writes well. For an immoral homewrecker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.

You are literally trash in human form. How does anyone with a nominally typical upbringing become so morally hollow?

Of course you are hurting his kids, by hurting their mother if nothing else. But also - is he spending time with you that he could be spending with them? Is he spending money on you that should be spent on his family? Is he short-tempered at home and starting fights because he has cognitive dissonance over his affair with you (this happens all the time)?

He is spending time where he wants to. And money where he wants to. If there are fights at home, that is not my problem; there are no fights between us.

Haaaaaaa. Why would there be fights? /u see each other only a couple hours a month to bang.

We see each other almost every day.

NP. Not on Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, family events, birthdays, work functions, children’s birthdays, life events. Because you’re not fit for family, colleagues, or respected friends and neighbors. He may sneak off to see you after-hours, but you are hidden away for the main events. Not fit.

You are so desperately jealous you can’t stand it. We will be together on Christmas, and we have our Valentines Day reservations already for a night out of town. Don’t know what he’s telling her. Don’t care. Went to St Lucia for my birthday.

I have zero interest in his “neighbors” lol. But I know his best friend, who has always disliked the DW.

People like you are so repugnant.

Not to my bf. Or to his best friend, who can't stand the wife and never could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.

You are literally trash in human form. How does anyone with a nominally typical upbringing become so morally hollow?

Of course you are hurting his kids, by hurting their mother if nothing else. But also - is he spending time with you that he could be spending with them? Is he spending money on you that should be spent on his family? Is he short-tempered at home and starting fights because he has cognitive dissonance over his affair with you (this happens all the time)?

He is spending time where he wants to. And money where he wants to. If there are fights at home, that is not my problem; there are no fights between us.

Haaaaaaa. Why would there be fights? /u see each other only a couple hours a month to bang.

We see each other almost every day.

NP. Not on Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, family events, birthdays, work functions, children’s birthdays, life events. Because you’re not fit for family, colleagues, or respected friends and neighbors. He may sneak off to see you after-hours, but you are hidden away for the main events. Not fit.

You are so desperately jealous you can’t stand it. We will be together on Christmas, and we have our Valentines Day reservations already for a night out of town. Don’t know what he’s telling her. Don’t care. Went to St Lucia for my birthday.

I have zero interest in his “neighbors” lol. But I know his best friend, who has always disliked the DW.

And where will you be sitting at the funeral?

By then? With my new man.