Failed my test

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy I have a test too… any woman who on the first date is telling me one thing (“Let’s split the check”) but expecting another (that I refuse to honor her request) clearly has issues with clear communication and enjoys playing manipulative games. Hard pass.

She's literally tricking men and wonders why she's single! There was no winning for this guy he was screwed either decision he made: he splits it thinking she's independent (she's clearly not) he loses, he pays and disregards her request he's ignoring her he loses.

Ops mental games are pathetic!

Listen, I’m single because I want to keep dating, don’t want to settle on guys like that and I’m single like for a few months. If I was single never married and childless - you could have an argument

So are you a divorced single mom?

My child is an independent adult living their own life. I married early “served” 20 years. No rush into relationship or marriage on my end

[Anonymous]

1) tests are stupid.
2) he sounds horrible. if you were uncomfortable, why not just base your test on gut feeling? it is usually right.

[Anonymous]

It is normal for a woman to offer to pay and not expect to pay. To he a middle aged single woman to have to have so many tests seems like you are limiting yourself greatly.

I’m probably your same age but married with 3 kids. Everyday is a compromise whether it is between my kids, husband or friends.

Try not to be so rigid.

Hahaha my dh probably thinks I don’t compromise but I do.

[Anonymous]

People who are generous and follow etiquette don’t test other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are generous and follow etiquette don’t test other people.

Of course they do. Particular since there is not much screening or reviews on OLD for humans, vs reviews or ratings for products. Reagan said “trust but verify”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is normal for a woman to offer to pay and not expect to pay. To he a middle aged single woman to have to have so many tests seems like you are limiting yourself greatly.

I’m probably your same age but married with 3 kids. Everyday is a compromise whether it is between my kids, husband or friends.

Try not to be so rigid.

Hahaha my dh probably thinks I don’t compromise but I do.

The point is to find only one man so limiting the choices is the whole point. Otherwise I would have to date 5-6 men at the same for a few months until each of them falls off for whatever reason. It’s impractical and takes too much time and physical efforts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is normal for a woman to offer to pay and not expect to pay. To he a middle aged single woman to have to have so many tests seems like you are limiting yourself greatly.

I’m probably your same age but married with 3 kids. Everyday is a compromise whether it is between my kids, husband or friends.

Try not to be so rigid.

Hahaha my dh probably thinks I don’t compromise but I do.

Hahaha I also was married for 20 years with one child you wouldn’t believe how temporary is everything. Do you have a good job, able to provide for yourself if he cheats ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Then don’t do it. I don’t because I know I have no intention of paying so no need to do the credit card fake out game.

OP here: I actually consider your approach riskier. A man would get tired of paying and will grow resentful all the time. I do explain to the guy who proved himself being a generous person after 3 dates or so that I do contribute. I start inviting men I like for concerts, I gave men presents, covered some of the joint trip costs in the past etc. But I do explain that gender roles matter to me even in equal partners relationship. Paying for a man's drinks&food, and doing it publicly is somehow very uncomfortable to me. When I see a couple going Dutch in restaurants, her pulling out her wallet, singing a check - for some reason I feel sorry for the woman in those couples.
That's just not for me.

My partner and I take turns. If you see me paying you should mind your business! I am glad to be able to afford it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Then don’t do it. I don’t because I know I have no intention of paying so no need to do the credit card fake out game.

OP here: I actually consider your approach riskier. A man would get tired of paying and will grow resentful all the time. I do explain to the guy who proved himself being a generous person after 3 dates or so that I do contribute. I start inviting men I like for concerts, I gave men presents, covered some of the joint trip costs in the past etc. But I do explain that gender roles matter to me even in equal partners relationship. Paying for a man's drinks&food, and doing it publicly is somehow very uncomfortable to me. When I see a couple going Dutch in restaurants, her pulling out her wallet, singing a check - for some reason I feel sorry for the woman in those couples.
That's just not for me.

My partner and I take turns. If you see me paying you should mind your business! I am glad to be able to afford it!

If I see a woman paying it tells me they are just dating not real partners. Partners have joint account for joint exirhsee, and no need to “alternate”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Then don’t do it. I don’t because I know I have no intention of paying so no need to do the credit card fake out game.

OP here: I actually consider your approach riskier. A man would get tired of paying and will grow resentful all the time. I do explain to the guy who proved himself being a generous person after 3 dates or so that I do contribute. I start inviting men I like for concerts, I gave men presents, covered some of the joint trip costs in the past etc. But I do explain that gender roles matter to me even in equal partners relationship. Paying for a man's drinks&food, and doing it publicly is somehow very uncomfortable to me. When I see a couple going Dutch in restaurants, her pulling out her wallet, singing a check - for some reason I feel sorry for the woman in those couples.
That's just not for me.

My partner and I take turns. If you see me paying you should mind your business! I am glad to be able to afford it!

If I see a woman paying it tells me they are just dating not real partners. Partners have joint account for joint exirhsee, and no need to “alternate”

*joint expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) tests are stupid.
2) he sounds horrible. if you were uncomfortable, why not just base your test on gut feeling? it is usually right.

Yes. You can just not like him without the faux test.

[Anonymous]

It is normal for a woman to offer to pay and not expect to pay.

It is normal to say what you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Then don’t do it. I don’t because I know I have no intention of paying so no need to do the credit card fake out game.

OP here: I actually consider your approach riskier. A man would get tired of paying and will grow resentful all the time. I do explain to the guy who proved himself being a generous person after 3 dates or so that I do contribute. I start inviting men I like for concerts, I gave men presents, covered some of the joint trip costs in the past etc. But I do explain that gender roles matter to me even in equal partners relationship. Paying for a man's drinks&food, and doing it publicly is somehow very uncomfortable to me. When I see a couple going Dutch in restaurants, her pulling out her wallet, singing a check - for some reason I feel sorry for the woman in those couples.
That's just not for me.

My partner and I take turns. If you see me paying you should mind your business! I am glad to be able to afford it!

If I see a woman paying it tells me they are just dating not real partners. Partners have joint account for joint exirhsee, and no need to “alternate”

You have a lot of ideas that are ridiculous. We have been committed for 2.5 years. I am a 60 year old widow and have no desire or NEED to comingle finances again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Then don’t do it. I don’t because I know I have no intention of paying so no need to do the credit card fake out game.

OP here: I actually consider your approach riskier. A man would get tired of paying and will grow resentful all the time. I do explain to the guy who proved himself being a generous person after 3 dates or so that I do contribute. I start inviting men I like for concerts, I gave men presents, covered some of the joint trip costs in the past etc. But I do explain that gender roles matter to me even in equal partners relationship. Paying for a man's drinks&food, and doing it publicly is somehow very uncomfortable to me. When I see a couple going Dutch in restaurants, her pulling out her wallet, singing a check - for some reason I feel sorry for the woman in those couples.
That's just not for me.

My partner and I take turns. If you see me paying you should mind your business! I am glad to be able to afford it!

If I see a woman paying it tells me they are just dating not real partners. Partners have joint account for joint exirhsee, and no need to “alternate”

You have a lot of ideas that are ridiculous. We have been committed for 2.5 years. I am a 60 year old widow and have no desire or NEED to comingle finances again.

I’m not talking about commingling finances. I talk about something like a joint BlueBird or Netspend account where partners contribute pro-rats their income for joint expenses. Trips, gifts, outings. I had it with ex BF of 6 months once we became exclusive . It’s when adult people are able to sit down, disclose their incomes and budget accordingly.
So yea, in my books you are just dating and do not have a partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Then don’t do it. I don’t because I know I have no intention of paying so no need to do the credit card fake out game.

OP here: I actually consider your approach riskier. A man would get tired of paying and will grow resentful all the time. I do explain to the guy who proved himself being a generous person after 3 dates or so that I do contribute. I start inviting men I like for concerts, I gave men presents, covered some of the joint trip costs in the past etc. But I do explain that gender roles matter to me even in equal partners relationship. Paying for a man's drinks&food, and doing it publicly is somehow very uncomfortable to me. When I see a couple going Dutch in restaurants, her pulling out her wallet, singing a check - for some reason I feel sorry for the woman in those couples.
That's just not for me.

My partner and I take turns. If you see me paying you should mind your business! I am glad to be able to afford it!

If I see a woman paying it tells me they are just dating not real partners. Partners have joint account for joint exirhsee, and no need to “alternate”

You have a lot of ideas that are ridiculous. We have been committed for 2.5 years. I am a 60 year old widow and have no desire or NEED to comingle finances again.

I’m not talking about commingling finances. I talk about something like a joint BlueBird or Netspend account where partners contribute pro-rats their income for joint expenses. Trips, gifts, outings. I had it with ex BF of 6 months once we became exclusive . It’s when adult people are able to sit down, disclose their incomes and budget accordingly.
So yea, in my books you are just dating and do not have a partner

So in order for YOU to consider any couple "real" they have to make up a new account? Ive literally never even heard of either of those, and no way I'd be combining finances with a dude of 6 months. Yikes.