Nearly half the kids in my kids private have a diagnosis

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guys — some kids have real diagnoses and are very smart and can get the work done. Just like some people you work with and interact with IRL.


Everyone I know has a diagnosis. If you don’t have one, you’re doing yourself and your family a disservice, because everyone can use supports of one kind or another.


What supports are you imagining falsely diagnosed kids are getting?
Anonymous
Op - I saw this thread re upped and thought I’d share that I had a really frank conversation with our school about this last week. They said at least 1/3 of the kids have either a diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodiversity and those numbers hold out for most privates. They said that there are learning differences that a mainstream private cannot support (slow processing speed/ inattentive adhd not improved by medication/ autism when kids cannot collaborate or grasp abstract concepts/ severe ocd etc). They confirmed that all private schools they feed into have taken and will take neurodiverse kids if the kid is academically on track and can collaborate. For the top tier they do not need to be social superstars and many take stimulants and need accommodations but have proven they are dedicated and are excelling in some area.
So there you have it
Anonymous
My kid is 2E -- really high IQ, but ADHD (both inattentive and impulsive). They have slow processing speed, along with the ADHD-typical responses to the really wide battery of tests given by the neuropsych.

To my knowledge, a little less than a third of their upper-elementary-school private school class seems to have an ADHD diagnoses. My child knows who goes to the nurse with them to get ADHD meds at lunchtime.

It's true that all of us work better on stimulants. But ADHD kids need them just to function tolerably in the classroom. It is absolutely nothing to envy.

My brilliant-yet-impulsive child is capable of doing terrifyingly dangerous things that a moment's thought would tell them are an awful idea, and I not-occasionally fear that they'll do something that'll get us both killed in a horrific freak accident.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op - I saw this thread re upped and thought I’d share that I had a really frank conversation with our school about this last week. They said at least 1/3 of the kids have either a diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodiversity and those numbers hold out for most privates. They said that there are learning differences that a mainstream private cannot support (slow processing speed/ inattentive adhd not improved by medication/ autism when kids cannot collaborate or grasp abstract concepts/ severe ocd etc). They confirmed that all private schools they feed into have taken and will take neurodiverse kids if the kid is academically on track and can collaborate. For the top tier they do not need to be social superstars and many take stimulants and need accommodations but have proven they are dedicated and are excelling in some area.
So there you have it


right - “sn” not sn.
Anonymous
This way teachers can focus on teaching and not have to possibly do anything difficult other than complain to parents so they up the rx.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This thread is very dismissive and abusive towards SN families. I would give a kidney and an eye for my child not to have a diagnosis and to be an NT with average everything.

Just because wealthier families are able to put their kids in privates doesn't mean these are made up diagnoses purchased for money.

Well resourced families probably have more access to diagnostics (e.g. don't have to wait 2 years on a wait list for a place that takes insurance) and specialists. They may have same average incidence of ADHD but remediate it better and have a smaller proportion of untreated/undiagnosed cases than the general population.


+1. I'm a parent of gifted kids with learning disabilities ("2E"). I'm SO grateful that we have the resources to support my kids but they absolutely need the help.

I'm tired of clueless and cruel parents on this forum complaining about SN kids getting all these amazing benefits. They have NO idea how much of a slog it is for the kids and the parents, even for simple things. This list includes: medication shortages, challenging diagnoses/co-morbidities, so many medical appointments, poor insurance coverage, difficult evaluation scheduling ($$$$$ and time), underinformed school teachers and administration, non-inclusive school communities/cruel kid (and sometimes teacher/staff) behaviors, advocacy time with schools when things go awry, tutors ($$), therapists ($$), time away from work/career sacrifices, chronic stress/sleep deprivation..... And the pandemic. HELL.

We overpaid for over a decade for an overhyped private school that was abysmal in supporting my kids. We white knuckled it in the upper years and paid a fortune for outside help. Selecting and trusting that school is the biggest regret of my life. But there's so much a parent doesn't know about learning disabilities (and education needs generally) and the steep learning curve is littered with misinformation and lots of trial and error. To this day, I'm unsure if we would have been better off sending my kids to their supposedly good but really overcrowded public schools. Probably. But I had heard from public parents in the trenches that the fight for resources was a nightmare for smart kids with learning disabilities. My rationale at the time was that at least our private's class sizes were small.

I am aware that plea will land on mostly deaf ears. But I"ll say it anyway. Be kind, DCUM.

Anonymous
+1 to the above. Thank you for putting into words just how hard it is daily for SN kids and their families for the multitude of things you listed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guys — some kids have real diagnoses and are very smart and can get the work done. Just like some people you work with and interact with IRL.


Everyone I know has a diagnosis. If you don’t have one, you’re doing yourself and your family a disservice, because everyone can use supports of one kind or another.


Oh FFS.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am not ADHD but took adderall to help with testing. It’s crazy how much harder I can work and that I got better grades when on it. I think a lot of parents want that for their kids.


Well, you probably do have ADHD then, because research shows that if you don't, the drugs make you work harder, but perform poorly because you are overloading your brain on something it already has enough of.

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/smart-drugs-can-decrease-productivity-in-people-who-dont-have-adhd-study-finds
Anonymous
I think there are two questions in this thread:

1. Are rich parents buying false diagnoses to give their kids a leg up? The answer is no. I think rich parents have the ability other families do not have to get their kids evaluated. It is good to get kids the supports they benefit from and truly NT kids do not benefit from those supports.

2. What does it mean that large proportions of kids are getting diagnoses? I think this is really OP's question. And I don't think it only applies to private schools. I think it applies to a lot of populations where parents have the resources and education to pursue evaluations. I live in a less expensive (but still expensive) part of MoCo where most families send their kids to the local public elementary school. When 5 yo DD was diagnosed with ASD I thought we might be one of few families going through this but as I've gotten to know more families in the neighborhood it seems like I constantly learn their kid has ADHD and they think ASD as well. It seems like so many of the kids, possibly the majority, are doing OT privately. My child is mixed race but most of these are White kids with highly educated parents but not with super high incomes. Weekly OT is a pain and can be expensive so these parents genuinely believe their kids need it. Something feels off - either we've been tricked into thinking our kids need these services, or we need to understand why so many kids need them and how to ensure all kids that need supports get them because we know the low income families are not accessing the same types of services.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am not ADHD but took adderall to help with testing. It’s crazy how much harder I can work and that I got better grades when on it. I think a lot of parents want that for their kids.


Well, you probably do have ADHD then, because research shows that if you don't, the drugs make you work harder, but perform poorly because you are overloading your brain on something it already has enough of.

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/smart-drugs-can-decrease-productivity-in-people-who-dont-have-adhd-study-finds


Not true. A person who is focused and has good EF skills can use speed to focus even better in the short term. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326023#The-drug-affects-memory-and-sleep
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am not ADHD but took adderall to help with testing. It’s crazy how much harder I can work and that I got better grades when on it. I think a lot of parents want that for their kids.


Well, you probably do have ADHD then, because research shows that if you don't, the drugs make you work harder, but perform poorly because you are overloading your brain on something it already has enough of.

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/smart-drugs-can-decrease-productivity-in-people-who-dont-have-adhd-study-finds


Not true. A person who is focused and has good EF skills can use speed to focus even better in the short term. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326023#The-drug-affects-memory-and-sleep

From what you shared:
"“Psychostimulants also led to detrimental consequences to cognitive functions that rely on good sleep. Thus, people who are taking these drugs to perform better in school or at work may feel as though they are doing better, but our data don’t support this feeling,” she goes on to warn."

Kids might buy Adderall for short term gain but wealthy parents are not trying to get their kids on these drugs unless they truly need them.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guys — some kids have real diagnoses and are very smart and can get the work done. Just like some people you work with and interact with IRL.


Everyone I know has a diagnosis. If you don’t have one, you’re doing yourself and your family a disservice, because everyone can use supports of one kind or another.


What supports are you imagining falsely diagnosed kids are getting?


Extra time in school. I have a child at a big3 and many have the extended time.
Anonymous
I didn't read through all the responses, but I can tell you that APS pushes neurodiverse kids into privates. APS doesn't serve their needs, and parents with means move their children to privates rather than engage in the futile fight with APS.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think there are two questions in this thread:

1. Are rich parents buying false diagnoses to give their kids a leg up? The answer is no. I think rich parents have the ability other families do not have to get their kids evaluated. It is good to get kids the supports they benefit from and truly NT kids do not benefit from those supports.

2. What does it mean that large proportions of kids are getting diagnoses? I think this is really OP's question. And I don't think it only applies to private schools. I think it applies to a lot of populations where parents have the resources and education to pursue evaluations. I live in a less expensive (but still expensive) part of MoCo where most families send their kids to the local public elementary school. When 5 yo DD was diagnosed with ASD I thought we might be one of few families going through this but as I've gotten to know more families in the neighborhood it seems like I constantly learn their kid has ADHD and they think ASD as well. It seems like so many of the kids, possibly the majority, are doing OT privately. My child is mixed race but most of these are White kids with highly educated parents but not with super high incomes. Weekly OT is a pain and can be expensive so these parents genuinely believe their kids need it. Something feels off - either we've been tricked into thinking our kids need these services, or we need to understand why so many kids need them and how to ensure all kids that need supports get them because we know the low income families are not accessing the same types of services.


Op - yes - the second q.
The first topic is a non sequitur red herring/ finding problems where there are none that derailed the conversion about the second point you make
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