It's been 10 years since our oldest graduated from high school. The most successful are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

Parents want their kids at elite colleges so they meet a (wealthy/ambitious) spouse. If your kid goes to Yale but returns home without a serious bf or gf, it was pointless.

This. At least the grandbabies will have a chance

I met Dh when I was at Harvard.

There are a lot of threads on where to meet high quality men. The best place to meet them is by going to an elite college or grad school when they are still young. By the time they are in their thirties, they are already taken.

We got engaged at 27, married at 29 and had our first kid at age 30.

[Anonymous]

There was a viral story in the news about a Black teen taking the 100% full ride presidential scholarship to Alabama over all of the Ivies. He wanted to study pre-med and become an MD.

I'd bet he still became a doctor.

Ronald Nelson was his name, I believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

Once again proving that "where you go matters less than what you do while you are there". 99% of those with "a resume for T25" will excel in life, no matter where they attend college. It's their drive, attitude towards life and school and desire to excel that will get them far in life.

Shocking that more people do not understand that and still continue to go into massive debt for undergrad because of "a higher ranked school"

It's not just the debt, it's nutty parents spending years of their life and large sums of money trying to scheme their dime a doze above average aimless teenagers into an elite university as if it's a winning Powerball ticket for their family. An elite degree is a waste on such a kid. It will just bring additional attention and embarrassment on your family when everyone sees the young adult working a normal job or worse yet, failing to launch, after you schemed them into such a university.

I would be so embarrassed if anyone knew my kid worked a normal job after getting a great education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met Dh when I was at Harvard.

There are a lot of threads on where to meet high quality men. The best place to meet them is by going to an elite college or grad school when they are still young. By the time they are in their thirties, they are already taken.

We got engaged at 27, married at 29 and had our first kid at age 30.

I grew up poor and attended Brown on financial aid in 2006. When I was young, my uncle taught me how to play guitar and sing, and that really helped me in college. I dated several women in college and one of them is a trust fund baby with wealthy parents. She wanted to marry me, but her parents thought I was a loser so they gave me 200k to disappear, which I took. I dated another woman and her father gave me an internship after my junior year and a job after graduation. That relationship didn't work out, but I ended up dating another classmate, now my wife, who is also a trust fund baby. Life has been good for me since.

Attending a T-20 school allows you to be close to people with money. How you approach it is completely up to you. Do you have the EQ to take advantage of it? Sadly, most do not.

[Anonymous]

I’ve now realized that much of this thread is a comedic fiction-writing project and am enjoying it accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Way too many posters here who don't understand that anecdotes aren't the same thing as statistically significant.

Correct. Hence the saying: "The plural of anecdotes is not data."

There have been statistical studies performed on these types of topics.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/05/23/young-adults-in-the-u-s-are-reaching-key-life-milestones-later-than-in-the-past/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Way too many posters here who don't understand that anecdotes aren't the same thing as statistically significant.

Correct. Hence the saying: "The plural of anecdotes is not data."

If OP's kids' high school is a middle to upper middle class large public high school where hundreds of seniors go off to a broad spectrum of colleges each year, it is a perfect case study for something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Way too many posters here who don't understand that anecdotes aren't the same thing as statistically significant.

Correct. Hence the saying: "The plural of anecdotes is not data."

If OP's kids' high school is a middle to upper middle class large public high school where hundreds of seniors go off to a broad spectrum of colleges each year, it is a perfect case study for something like this.

OP doesn't have that data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met Dh when I was at Harvard.

There are a lot of threads on where to meet high quality men. The best place to meet them is by going to an elite college or grad school when they are still young. By the time they are in their thirties, they are already taken.

We got engaged at 27, married at 29 and had our first kid at age 30.

I grew up poor and attended Brown on financial aid in 2006. When I was young, my uncle taught me how to play guitar and sing, and that really helped me in college. I dated several women in college and one of them is a trust fund baby with wealthy parents. She wanted to marry me, but her parents thought I was a loser so they gave me 200k to disappear, which I took. I dated another woman and her father gave me an internship after my junior year and a job after graduation. That relationship didn't work out, but I ended up dating another classmate, now my wife, who is also a trust fund baby. Life has been good for me since.

Attending a T-20 school allows you to be close to people with money. How you approach it is completely up to you. Do you have the EQ to take advantage of it? Sadly, most do not.

So the parents who gave you $200k were right. They probably realized you were only dating all these women for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met Dh when I was at Harvard.

There are a lot of threads on where to meet high quality men. The best place to meet them is by going to an elite college or grad school when they are still young. By the time they are in their thirties, they are already taken.

We got engaged at 27, married at 29 and had our first kid at age 30.

I grew up poor and attended Brown on financial aid in 2006. When I was young, my uncle taught me how to play guitar and sing, and that really helped me in college. I dated several women in college and one of them is a trust fund baby with wealthy parents. She wanted to marry me, but her parents thought I was a loser so they gave me 200k to disappear, which I took. I dated another woman and her father gave me an internship after my junior year and a job after graduation. That relationship didn't work out, but I ended up dating another classmate, now my wife, who is also a trust fund baby. Life has been good for me since.

Attending a T-20 school allows you to be close to people with money. How you approach it is completely up to you. Do you have the EQ to take advantage of it? Sadly, most do not.

So the parents who gave you $200k were right. They probably realized you were only dating all these women for money.

My thoughts too and I went to Brown as well, this would have been a legendary story and I'm only a few years older, he'd have been in the first year class when I was a senior. 200k is a lot of money to a broke college kid, especially in those days. 20k would have done the trick, methinks. Did he report it on his taxes? Probably not :lol:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met Dh when I was at Harvard.

There are a lot of threads on where to meet high quality men. The best place to meet them is by going to an elite college or grad school when they are still young. By the time they are in their thirties, they are already taken.

We got engaged at 27, married at 29 and had our first kid at age 30.

I grew up poor and attended Brown on financial aid in 2006. When I was young, my uncle taught me how to play guitar and sing, and that really helped me in college. I dated several women in college and one of them is a trust fund baby with wealthy parents. She wanted to marry me, but her parents thought I was a loser so they gave me 200k to disappear, which I took. I dated another woman and her father gave me an internship after my junior year and a job after graduation. That relationship didn't work out, but I ended up dating another classmate, now my wife, who is also a trust fund baby. Life has been good for me since.

Attending a T-20 school allows you to be close to people with money. How you approach it is completely up to you. Do you have the EQ to take advantage of it? Sadly, most do not.

So the parents who gave you $200k were right. They probably realized you were only dating all these women for money.

People who say that money isn't everything already have money.

Nothing wrong with dating people for money. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

I'm Yale '02 and Wharton '07. None of my peers were married before 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Yale '02 and Wharton '07. None of my peers were married before 30.

I got married when I was 29. I was the first amongst my friends to get married. Most people got married in their early thirties. I have 3 kids. Most of my friends have 2. They all had kids in their mid thirties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a lot of people measure success by how much money you make, what neighborhood you live in, or how nice your house is. There are plenty of people who do good valuable work and don't make much money. They can be happy, content, don't overconsume, advocate for a better world, have time to engage in their communities, and donate to worthy causes. They can be great successes. A quality education can be a big part of this.

Bingo! 100% true. Not sure why DCUM is so money-obsessed. The opportunity to attend an elite school with a majority of peers who are extremely intelligent, and learn under faculty who are the same level of intelligence is more than just a path to the highest paycheck. I feel sorry for all the $ obsessed here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Yale '02 and Wharton '07. None of my peers were married before 30.

You either don’t have friends or you’re lying about attending either of these colleges. Probably both.