Come here if your in laws do weird crap at thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start off.

This year, I will finally tell my FIL he cannot floss his teeth at the table.

Oh hell no.

ILs pick their teeth and belch at the table, so I'm with you, OP. I do recall the same people did not like the way I held my fork (you know, the same way everyone else holds their fork). Good times.

My MIL picks her teeth nonstop with her fingernails to get food out. I can’t handle it

PP here - yes, this! What in the actual h&ll? You are at the table, woman! :puke emoji:

My MIL wipes her own (basically empty) plate with her index finger and then licks her finger. I guess to get all the remaining flavor off her plate? Repeatedly! Um, Janet, if you are still hungry there is plenty more food.

That is disgusting. Horrifying. Does she do it at restaurants too?

Its rare we eat out with them, but I don't think so. I will try to remember to check next time. Lol.

Me again. I meant to add that my husband has point blank said to her, "Mom, can you please stop doing that?" She then gets immediately indignant/exasperated that my husband is being "ridiculous"/overly critical of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FIL burps (and farts) at the table, and picks teeth with pick. Would totally pull apart bird with hands (and has). Coughs without covering mouth. No one has ever told him not to do these things. I think that part may annoy me most of all (tell him ffs). But mainly I am annoyed that whole ILs family is like this and when I feel judgy it makes me feel guilty and like a snob, and also like it is my fault that I married into a family that is so socially different from my own and made my life much harder as a consequence. Then I feel both guilty, mad at myself and like a huge snob. And grossed out. I would love to enjoy one holiday where I could eat canapes and have a drink without feeling like a grossed out, self loathing, snobby a******.

Oh god the spittle-flinging loud talking over the plates of food, whether buffet or family style, including occasional coughs, is repellent to me. It almost makes it impossible for me to enjoy the food. I just try to subtly take food from the bottoms of the serving dishes when it's my turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine get up early and run 5k with a bunch of other people. Weirdos.

We have about 40-60 people over at 9am for yoga and then brunch. Everyone leaves by noon, unless they've been invited for Thanksgiving dinner. Then around 3pm a new wave of people come for Thanksgiving.

Weird flex. What does this have to do with your in-laws (title of the thread)?

Sorry forgot to include that part. FIL watches the yoga. Like, from the window. As if it's a show.

First, I think I aspire to be you, yoga poster. Second, my father would 100% watch this from the window and talk about it for the entire weekend. And he'd interject comments about how yoga is great for maintaining your sense of balance or something similar. Somethig that never quite encompasses the entire, or most important reason for the thing you are doing, but this is his way of showing support.

My ILs, on the other hand, would openly make snarky comments and assumptions based on the yoga.

And call it The Yoga, or The Yogas.

Yes, or "Your Yoga".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but we have a large kitchen with a lot of counter space and for some reason, my in-laws keep putting food (ingredients or finished dishes) right next to the sink. I would never do that - I'd be too worried it would get dirty while someone was washing their hands or dishes. In fact, earlier today, I was putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher and dumped out a mug that looked like it had a tiny bit of tea in it and put it in the dishwasher. FIL got so angry that he could not find his 1/4 cup of broth!

Also - my in-laws brought their own place mats because they don't like mine (which are just plain gray). WTF?

Did your in laws have lots of weird rules about other things too? My mil did something similar with her drinking glass. The woman has food issues and is very small and thinks everyone should be very small. She was very food restrictive to her children. They grew up with crazy rules about food. She will put water in a small juice glass and leave it sitting for days by the sink. It must be left by the sink. Do not ever touch it or move it. She will only take a sip or two here and there. Of course, no one outside of their family knows their crazy rules. I was post partum after being in the hospital for several weeks after having premature twins. She went ballistic when I put that glass in the dishwasher. I could go on with more crazy stories just from that post partum visit but my post would be too long.

Every Thanksgiving dh and I split our time between going to one of my family member's Thanksgiving celebrations and theirs later in the day. One year she was angry and when we got there we were refused plates. Grandma told us we were not allowed to eat. No one would talk to us. It was the most rude thing ever. She expected we would sit there and watch everyone else eat and take our punishment. She was mad about something and expected we would play her game of trying to figure out what we did wrong and then try to make her happy. She tortured some of her adult children with this kind of stuff their entire lives. She was always mad at someone and would pull things like this at every holiday.

This is straight emotional abuse.

[Anonymous]

My FIL walked past the chair I was sitting in and farted in my face. He pretended nothing happened. Beyond rude. I understand that older folks can’t control everything, but anyone CAN control saying “Oh, I’m sorry, please excuse me” versus acting like they didn’t just fart in someone’s face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL will serve family style when she hosts Thanksgiving. We serve buffet style, and I think this is easier for everyone. MIL hosted this year. She has a strange habit of using small bowels for sides and barely putting anything in them. So she has to jump up and run back to the kitchen and fill it up multiple times. She has plenty in the kitchen but she will put about 1 cup of stuffing or mashed potatoes in a serving bowl and it won’t make the way around the table. Also people take less of everything because they don’t know if that’s all there is.

Oh h%ll this is something my MIL would do - but she has weird control issues around food (and other things). How annoying - I empathize!

I'm the poster with the food restrictive mil. This is exactly what she did. She would make a point of letting us all know that she did not eat. She would make a half a sandwich and take a bite or two then put it away and let everyone know that is all she had eaten that day.

My MIL does this too. Endless discussion about her food intake. Pushing around of food at the table, one or two bites eaten. I don't care, but it's kind of fascinating to watch how a whole meal can go by with her taking just 2-3 bites. Sometimes she picks up a forkful of food, waves it around, speaks, then puts it back down for another 5-10 minutes. It's kind of mesmerizing.

When visiting our house it's, "I'll have to skip dinners next week and just do cheese and crackers for dinner after this week of eating!". We are all thin, active and eat normal meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My FIL walked past the chair I was sitting in and farted in my face. He pretended nothing happened. Beyond rude. I understand that older folks can’t control everything, but anyone CAN control saying “Oh, I’m sorry, please excuse me” versus acting like they didn’t just fart in someone’s face.

My FIL has loud, explosive farts into the powder room toilet after every family meal. I know he can't help it and its definitely triggered by eating, but its so gross and loud. In his own house he at least uses the master bathroom, but obviously not at our house or SIL's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine get up early and run 5k with a bunch of other people. Weirdos.

We have about 40-60 people over at 9am for yoga and then brunch. Everyone leaves by noon, unless they've been invited for Thanksgiving dinner. Then around 3pm a new wave of people come for Thanksgiving.

Weird flex. What does this have to do with your in-laws (title of the thread)?

Sorry forgot to include that part. FIL watches the yoga. Like, from the window. As if it's a show.

First, I think I aspire to be you, yoga poster. Second, my father would 100% watch this from the window and talk about it for the entire weekend. And he'd interject comments about how yoga is great for maintaining your sense of balance or something similar. Somethig that never quite encompasses the entire, or most important reason for the thing you are doing, but this is his way of showing support.

My ILs, on the other hand, would openly make snarky comments and assumptions based on the yoga.

I must be your ILs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL will serve family style when she hosts Thanksgiving. We serve buffet style, and I think this is easier for everyone. MIL hosted this year. She has a strange habit of using small bowels for sides and barely putting anything in them. So she has to jump up and run back to the kitchen and fill it up multiple times. She has plenty in the kitchen but she will put about 1 cup of stuffing or mashed potatoes in a serving bowl and it won’t make the way around the table. Also people take less of everything because they don’t know if that’s all there is.

Oh h%ll this is something my MIL would do - but she has weird control issues around food (and other things). How annoying - I empathize!

I'm the poster with the food restrictive mil. This is exactly what she did. She would make a point of letting us all know that she did not eat. She would make a half a sandwich and take a bite or two then put it away and let everyone know that is all she had eaten that day.

My MIL does this too. Endless discussion about her food intake. Pushing around of food at the table, one or two bites eaten. I don't care, but it's kind of fascinating to watch how a whole meal can go by with her taking just 2-3 bites. Sometimes she picks up a forkful of food, waves it around, speaks, then puts it back down for another 5-10 minutes. It's kind of mesmerizing.

When visiting our house it's, "I'll have to skip dinners next week and just do cheese and crackers for dinner after this week of eating!". We are all thin, active and eat normal meals.

Does her plate look normal and she just scrapes it into the trash, or it looks like the Cratchett's dinner before Scrooge has his change of heart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL will serve family style when she hosts Thanksgiving. We serve buffet style, and I think this is easier for everyone. MIL hosted this year. She has a strange habit of using small bowels for sides and barely putting anything in them. So she has to jump up and run back to the kitchen and fill it up multiple times. She has plenty in the kitchen but she will put about 1 cup of stuffing or mashed potatoes in a serving bowl and it won’t make the way around the table. Also people take less of everything because they don’t know if that’s all there is.

Oh h%ll this is something my MIL would do - but she has weird control issues around food (and other things). How annoying - I empathize!

I'm the poster with the food restrictive mil. This is exactly what she did. She would make a point of letting us all know that she did not eat. She would make a half a sandwich and take a bite or two then put it away and let everyone know that is all she had eaten that day.

My MIL does this too. Endless discussion about her food intake. Pushing around of food at the table, one or two bites eaten. I don't care, but it's kind of fascinating to watch how a whole meal can go by with her taking just 2-3 bites. Sometimes she picks up a forkful of food, waves it around, speaks, then puts it back down for another 5-10 minutes. It's kind of mesmerizing.

When visiting our house it's, "I'll have to skip dinners next week and just do cheese and crackers for dinner after this week of eating!". We are all thin, active and eat normal meals.

It kinda seems like you’re paying a lot of attention to her eating. Why not just ignore? I’m too busy stuffing my face to notice anyone else’s eating habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL will serve family style when she hosts Thanksgiving. We serve buffet style, and I think this is easier for everyone. MIL hosted this year. She has a strange habit of using small bowels for sides and barely putting anything in them. So she has to jump up and run back to the kitchen and fill it up multiple times. She has plenty in the kitchen but she will put about 1 cup of stuffing or mashed potatoes in a serving bowl and it won’t make the way around the table. Also people take less of everything because they don’t know if that’s all there is.

Oh h%ll this is something my MIL would do - but she has weird control issues around food (and other things). How annoying - I empathize!

I'm the poster with the food restrictive mil. This is exactly what she did. She would make a point of letting us all know that she did not eat. She would make a half a sandwich and take a bite or two then put it away and let everyone know that is all she had eaten that day.

My MIL does this too. Endless discussion about her food intake. Pushing around of food at the table, one or two bites eaten. I don't care, but it's kind of fascinating to watch how a whole meal can go by with her taking just 2-3 bites. Sometimes she picks up a forkful of food, waves it around, speaks, then puts it back down for another 5-10 minutes. It's kind of mesmerizing.

When visiting our house it's, "I'll have to skip dinners next week and just do cheese and crackers for dinner after this week of eating!". We are all thin, active and eat normal meals.

It kinda seems like you’re paying a lot of attention to her eating. Why not just ignore? I’m too busy stuffing my face to notice anyone else’s eating habits.

DP here. Sounds like its hard to ignore if the MIL is constantly talking about it.

[Anonymous]

Team MIL on the rotisserie chicken.

I have a good one—we were hosting some acquaintances because they are far from home and we wanted them to have a place to go.

My mom gets very anxious about hosting. I do it all the time. She flipped her lid because we didn’t have any little paper Dixie cups to set out in the bathroom for the guests.

Why? Not because she was worried about bad breath. She thought one of them might have forgotten to use deodorant and want to use some mouthwash in their armpits to kill bacteria! I laughed until I cried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL will serve family style when she hosts Thanksgiving. We serve buffet style, and I think this is easier for everyone. MIL hosted this year. She has a strange habit of using small bowels for sides and barely putting anything in them. So she has to jump up and run back to the kitchen and fill it up multiple times. She has plenty in the kitchen but she will put about 1 cup of stuffing or mashed potatoes in a serving bowl and it won’t make the way around the table. Also people take less of everything because they don’t know if that’s all there is.

Oh h%ll this is something my MIL would do - but she has weird control issues around food (and other things). How annoying - I empathize!

I'm the poster with the food restrictive mil. This is exactly what she did. She would make a point of letting us all know that she did not eat. She would make a half a sandwich and take a bite or two then put it away and let everyone know that is all she had eaten that day.

My MIL does this too. Endless discussion about her food intake. Pushing around of food at the table, one or two bites eaten. I don't care, but it's kind of fascinating to watch how a whole meal can go by with her taking just 2-3 bites. Sometimes she picks up a forkful of food, waves it around, speaks, then puts it back down for another 5-10 minutes. It's kind of mesmerizing.

When visiting our house it's, "I'll have to skip dinners next week and just do cheese and crackers for dinner after this week of eating!". We are all thin, active and eat normal meals.

It kinda seems like you’re paying a lot of attention to her eating. Why not just ignore? I’m too busy stuffing my face to notice anyone else’s eating habits.

DP here. Sounds like its hard to ignore if the MIL is constantly talking about it.

She talks about it because she gets a response. If no reinforcement is provided, the behavior will stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start off.

This year, I will finally tell my FIL he cannot floss his teeth at the table.

Oh hell no.

ILs pick their teeth and belch at the table, so I'm with you, OP. I do recall the same people did not like the way I held my fork (you know, the same way everyone else holds their fork). Good times.

My MIL picks her teeth nonstop with her fingernails to get food out. I can’t handle it

PP here - yes, this! What in the actual h&ll? You are at the table, woman! :puke emoji:

My MIL wipes her own (basically empty) plate with her index finger and then licks her finger. I guess to get all the remaining flavor off her plate? Repeatedly! Um, Janet, if you are still hungry there is plenty more food.

Not when you are placing small portions around the size of a cup in a cold China bowl. When I do buffet style, I’m keeping everything in a hot dish right out of the oven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start off.

This year, I will finally tell my FIL he cannot floss his teeth at the table.

Oh hell no.

ILs pick their teeth and belch at the table, so I'm with you, OP. I do recall the same people did not like the way I held my fork (you know, the same way everyone else holds their fork). Good times.

My MIL picks her teeth nonstop with her fingernails to get food out. I can’t handle it

PP here - yes, this! What in the actual h&ll? You are at the table, woman! :puke emoji:

My MIL wipes her own (basically empty) plate with her index finger and then licks her finger. I guess to get all the remaining flavor off her plate? Repeatedly! Um, Janet, if you are still hungry there is plenty more food.

Not when you are placing small portions around the size of a cup in a cold China bowl. When I do buffet style, I’m keeping everything in a hot dish right out of the oven.

I was trying to reply to the person that said food would get cold as the same rate served family style as buffet.