Are we the only family in the DMV who is priced out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve gotten a few good suggestions here but you would get more if you started a new thread just with your budget, family size/ages, commute locations and must haves (SF, # of BRs and BAs, lot size, SFH or TH, garage etc. etc.) Good luck!

I'm not outing myself to that level of detail. If you read the thread, I'm sure you can understand why that might be. No matter what I say, there will be raging character assignation and blame shifting, because that's what happens when people who have an income over 80k say that life isn't perfect, or people with incomes under 450k say that they exist in this metro area.

This is hilarious. If this is trolling, I give it a solid A. If this isn't trolling, you have completely lost your perspective.

It's true, life isn't perfect. If that's what you meant to post, it would have been a short thread.

But what you posted amounts to a long whine saying that you can't afford any house in the area, when what is true is that you can't afford something high end in a very niche market that lots of other people want and can afford.

Also, it is character assassination, not assignation. That's several times you've posted that. I hope you don't teach English....

Anyway, you have never answered why many of the areas/houses that people have posted are not good enough for you. Honestly, probably best you move somewhere far away where you can get the McCraftsman of your dreams.

Autocorrect, but I'm sorry, Sister Florence.

All of what you right is projection. I have posted nothing of any of it. It's like you are writing to your adult child. I'm guessing you were triggered by the use of the phrase "priced out", since that is a popular one for posters like you to fixate on.

I have answered those questions without outing myself, but my responses are buried in the pages and pages of triggered rage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve gotten a few good suggestions here but you would get more if you started a new thread just with your budget, family size/ages, commute locations and must haves (SF, # of BRs and BAs, lot size, SFH or TH, garage etc. etc.) Good luck!

I'm not outing myself to that level of detail. If you read the thread, I'm sure you can understand why that might be. No matter what I say, there will be raging character assignation and blame shifting, because that's what happens when people who have an income over 80k say that life isn't perfect, or people with incomes under 450k say that they exist in this metro area.

That’s what I get for offering a constructive solution? Jesus Christ, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord

I agree with the advice to save as much as you can early and buy a house before you have kids. Kids are just endless expenses, it never lets up. It just really makes sense to lock in a mortgage of some kind before you have them, because then that expense stays steady and you can plan family finances around it.

But I think it can be hard for many people because there's a generation of people who borrowed quite a bit of money for school. Your first priority after that is to pay down those loans (at least for many people) and that means focusing on work, not necessarily on finding a partner. So that means that people don't save as much in cash savings in their 20s as they used to, and it also means they get married later. So then you get married early 30s and don't always have much cash on hand. Some people get money from parents, or are high paid enough by then to save a down payment quickly, or do creative things like borrow agains their 401k (I know several people who did that, actually). But if there is no family assistance and your incomes are good but not great (especially if you live in a high COL area like DC), you'll be saving much more slowly.

But becoming parents is not something you can postpone indefinitely. And that's what leads to people having kids in their mid-30s before buying a home. They want to have kids while they are still relatively young, they aren't ready to buy, and then kids come along and make it really hard to save.

My DH and I resolved that problem by having a kid later. We prioritized buying a home and then I had a baby at 37. It's not necessarily the way we would have liked to do it, and it meant we only had one kid (which is sad in some ways but also has a lot of financial benefits). But it means we started building equity sooner and are in a better position than OP in our 40s. For us it was worth it because we grew up in families where money was always tight and there was never enough, so having financial stability before we had kids was really important. But it was hard and yes, I do wish we'd met earlier, or paid off our loans earlier, or lived in a lower COL area, all of which might have enabled us to both buy a home and have kids earlier. But you don't always hav perfect control over these things.

This is what the posters arguing that $2,500 isn't a lot for rent just don't understand. If you have kids before you buy a house, then you're stuck paying $2,500 or more for rent. OP is screwed because she didn't save and buy a house before kids, not because the market is unfair to her.

The last few years of the RE market have been absolutely wild. If you weren’t already on the home ownership ladder, it’s extremely difficult to compete with people who have had exploding equity in their starter homes. Also, does no one remember 2020 and 2021? Lots of layoffs, temporary salary cuts if people retained their jobs, and general uncertainty. People are being AHs to others who were more risk adverse during the early pandemic years. Hindsight is 20/20, but as someone who had a 25% salary cut in 2020, laid off in 2021, ended up purchasing in 2022, what did you want me and my husband to do, exactly?

You bought a house so no one is criticizing you. Yes the market the last few years has been challenging, but there's no reason that OP couldn't have bought a home prior to that. I just don't understand these people in their 40's with kids who are just now looking for a house. Lots of us started saving for a home when we were young and single. We sacrificed to save money. Then we saved more as couples and bought before kids. Those who chose not to (and don't have higher incomes) don't have the same options. Choices have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these posts, and yet for some reason, no MC/UMC people seem willing to prioritize saving for home equity/a large down payment instead of for retirement accounts.

Imagine if all you people had stopped contributions to 401(k)s, TSPs, Roth IRAs and brokerage accounts three years ago — you might have an additional $300K for a down payment, but of course you couldn’t do that because it’s “dumb.” And of course, today now you still can’t do that because stocks are “on sale.”

So we’ll keep on being treated to endless posts from people making $300K a year about how they can’t afford a house. We live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country – no one thought that maybe they might have to sacrifice *temporarily* other savings goals in order to afford the nice housing they desire?

Do you have any idea how much money I made in the stock market between 2020 and today??? Oh yeah, and I DID buy a $1.1 million house this year with a $275K income. Some of us just weren’t READY to buy a house in the past three years. We couldn’t just drop everything and start house hunting. Many of us were working in person at demanding jobs with kids. Not everyone is in your situation you psychotic freak.

Lol, you sound like a very sane and stable person. If you were able to buy a house without doing that, great; my suggestion wasn’t for you. I thought that was a given, but maybe I should’ve clarified for the denser among the group.

However, since we’re 13 pages into this thread, there are clearly others who should be doing something differently. A $1 million house is not so daunting if you save $500,000 for a down payment – but of course, that requires cutting back saving in other areas. And many UMC won’t consider it, though that’s the obvious solution – instead, like you, they respond with unhinged, shaking anger at the very suggestion.

I hope you enjoy being an a-hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

WTF kind of statement is this??? DH and I were paying $2500/month in rent 10 years ago with a baby in daycare and an HHI of $160K and somehow managed to buy a house then and our second house this year. $2500/month in rent is a great deal for a family of four.

You're missing the point. OP should have been making sacrifices so she's not paying rent by the time she has a family of 4. Either that or be happy with a cheaper house.

Look, I agree that's it is incredibly stupid that OP didn't use the proceeds from her condo to buy a new house when she sold it (unless she still owns it, she didn't say), but if she for some reason wasn't able to do that (maybe she bought an overpriced condo and lost money on it, I don't know), then $2500/month is a very reasonable rent for an SFH while she saves up for a larger home. That's all I'm saying.

[Anonymous]

Mantua is lovely and in your price range.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/9116-Hamilton-Dr-Fairfax-VA-22031/51836392_zpid/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mantua is lovely and in your price range.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/9116-Hamilton-Dr-Fairfax-VA-22031/51836392_zpid/

That is a great house! Probably not for Princess OP, but it’s solid and has great schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve gotten a few good suggestions here but you would get more if you started a new thread just with your budget, family size/ages, commute locations and must haves (SF, # of BRs and BAs, lot size, SFH or TH, garage etc. etc.) Good luck!

I'm not outing myself to that level of detail. If you read the thread, I'm sure you can understand why that might be. No matter what I say, there will be raging character assignation and blame shifting, because that's what happens when people who have an income over 80k say that life isn't perfect, or people with incomes under 450k say that they exist in this metro area.

This is hilarious. If this is trolling, I give it a solid A. If this isn't trolling, you have completely lost your perspective.

It's true, life isn't perfect. If that's what you meant to post, it would have been a short thread.

But what you posted amounts to a long whine saying that you can't afford any house in the area, when what is true is that you can't afford something high end in a very niche market that lots of other people want and can afford.

Also, it is character assassination, not assignation. That's several times you've posted that. I hope you don't teach English....

Anyway, you have never answered why many of the areas/houses that people have posted are not good enough for you. Honestly, probably best you move somewhere far away where you can get the McCraftsman of your dreams.

Autocorrect, but I'm sorry, Sister Florence.

All of what you right is projection. I have posted nothing of any of it. It's like you are writing to your adult child. I'm guessing you were triggered by the use of the phrase "priced out", since that is a popular one for posters like you to fixate on.

I have answered those questions without outing myself, but my responses are buried in the pages and pages of triggered rage.

Your phone autocorrects assassination to assignation? Seems unlikely.

You sound like the only person who is triggered. (I live in a nice house in a great neighborhood.) You are basically throwing a tantrum, but that's not going to get you into that Joanna Gaines palace you feel you deserve.

You have never answered why the many areas with affordable houses are beneath your lofty 300k HHI family. No one is going to feel sorry for you, not because we're all Boomers, but because we don't have any sympathy for whiners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mantua is lovely and in your price range.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/9116-Hamilton-Dr-Fairfax-VA-22031/51836392_zpid/

That is a great house! Probably not for Princess OP, but it’s solid and has great schools.

Come on. You expect OP to live in a house with a kitchen with black appliances? I mean, did you hear how much they make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of homes under 800K here in the Silver Spring /Einstein area. I have lived here 30 years. The houses are older, charming, and so what if you have to paint and get new cabinets. You make your house your own over the years.

Please don't tell OP to move to Silver Spring, I like it here and the people are nice.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe OP is still replying after 16 pages. Nuts. It's got to be a troll at this point, an actual person would not continue to engage people at this point.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully this looong thread will teach a lesson for younger folks: *do not* have kids before you have saved for and bought a house! Geez, Econ 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of homes under 800K here in the Silver Spring /Einstein area. I have lived here 30 years. The houses are older, charming, and so what if you have to paint and get new cabinets. You make your house your own over the years.

Please don't tell OP to move to Silver Spring, I like it here and the people are nice.

We live here too. 16 years. No plan to move until all 3 kids are adults. They would kill us if we sold their childhood home, all 1850 sq ft. of it. We like our neighbors and they like us. The neighborhood kids are all outside now riding bikes and shooting hoops in the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

$2500/month is the bottom of the market now for any SFH in this area. I own two 1200-SF dumpy houses way out on the red line and they are rented for that much, and the similar available houses are asking more like $2700. OP deserves some guff here but not for this.

No one said that OP could rent a place for her family for less; just that $2,500 is a lot to go out the door each month for rent. OP has to pay it now b/c she has kids, but the smarter people bought homes before they had kids. Once you have kids, it's an uphill battle to pay rent for a whole house for your family while also paying for kid expenses and trying to save to buy a house.

Yes, houses are free so long as you bought them before kids. Everyone knows this.

(/s Seriously you still have to pay taxes, insurance, maintenance, and repair costs even if you no longer have a mortgage. That stuff is EXPENSIVE in this area. OP is doing great with her rent, as well as her savings rate. And no matter how much some of you protest, the majority of million dollar relatively close-in houses ARE absolute dumps and will most likely require lots of actual, legitimate maintenance and repair work, not even getting into cosmetic stuff)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mantua is lovely and in your price range.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/9116-Hamilton-Dr-Fairfax-VA-22031/51836392_zpid/

That is a great house! Probably not for Princess OP, but it’s solid and has great schools.

Come on. You expect OP to live in a house with a kitchen with black appliances? I mean, did you hear how much they make?

Black appliances are hip.