Are we the only family in the DMV who is priced out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

$2500/month is the bottom of the market now for any SFH in this area. I own two 1200-SF dumpy houses way out on the red line and they are rented for that much, and the similar available houses are asking more like $2700. OP deserves some guff here but not for this.

No one said that OP could rent a place for her family for less; just that $2,500 is a lot to go out the door each month for rent. OP has to pay it now b/c she has kids, but the smarter people bought homes before they had kids. Once you have kids, it's an uphill battle to pay rent for a whole house for your family while also paying for kid expenses and trying to save to buy a house.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’ve gotten a few good suggestions here but you would get more if you started a new thread just with your budget, family size/ages, commute locations and must haves (SF, # of BRs and BAs, lot size, SFH or TH, garage etc. etc.) Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord

I agree with the advice to save as much as you can early and buy a house before you have kids. Kids are just endless expenses, it never lets up. It just really makes sense to lock in a mortgage of some kind before you have them, because then that expense stays steady and you can plan family finances around it.

But I think it can be hard for many people because there's a generation of people who borrowed quite a bit of money for school. Your first priority after that is to pay down those loans (at least for many people) and that means focusing on work, not necessarily on finding a partner. So that means that people don't save as much in cash savings in their 20s as they used to, and it also means they get married later. So then you get married early 30s and don't always have much cash on hand. Some people get money from parents, or are high paid enough by then to save a down payment quickly, or do creative things like borrow agains their 401k (I know several people who did that, actually). But if there is no family assistance and your incomes are good but not great (especially if you live in a high COL area like DC), you'll be saving much more slowly.

But becoming parents is not something you can postpone indefinitely. And that's what leads to people having kids in their mid-30s before buying a home. They want to have kids while they are still relatively young, they aren't ready to buy, and then kids come along and make it really hard to save.

My DH and I resolved that problem by having a kid later. We prioritized buying a home and then I had a baby at 37. It's not necessarily the way we would have liked to do it, and it meant we only had one kid (which is sad in some ways but also has a lot of financial benefits). But it means we started building equity sooner and are in a better position than OP in our 40s. For us it was worth it because we grew up in families where money was always tight and there was never enough, so having financial stability before we had kids was really important. But it was hard and yes, I do wish we'd met earlier, or paid off our loans earlier, or lived in a lower COL area, all of which might have enabled us to both buy a home and have kids earlier. But you don't always hav perfect control over these things.

This is what the posters arguing that $2,500 isn't a lot for rent just don't understand. If you have kids before you buy a house, then you're stuck paying $2,500 or more for rent. OP is screwed because she didn't save and buy a house before kids, not because the market is unfair to her.

[Anonymous]

Chantilly will have options

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Chantilly/13818-Poplar-Tree-Rd-20151/home/9494123

Great middle school and high school at this house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord

I agree with the advice to save as much as you can early and buy a house before you have kids. Kids are just endless expenses, it never lets up. It just really makes sense to lock in a mortgage of some kind before you have them, because then that expense stays steady and you can plan family finances around it.

But I think it can be hard for many people because there's a generation of people who borrowed quite a bit of money for school. Your first priority after that is to pay down those loans (at least for many people) and that means focusing on work, not necessarily on finding a partner. So that means that people don't save as much in cash savings in their 20s as they used to, and it also means they get married later. So then you get married early 30s and don't always have much cash on hand. Some people get money from parents, or are high paid enough by then to save a down payment quickly, or do creative things like borrow agains their 401k (I know several people who did that, actually). But if there is no family assistance and your incomes are good but not great (especially if you live in a high COL area like DC), you'll be saving much more slowly.

But becoming parents is not something you can postpone indefinitely. And that's what leads to people having kids in their mid-30s before buying a home. They want to have kids while they are still relatively young, they aren't ready to buy, and then kids come along and make it really hard to save.

My DH and I resolved that problem by having a kid later. We prioritized buying a home and then I had a baby at 37. It's not necessarily the way we would have liked to do it, and it meant we only had one kid (which is sad in some ways but also has a lot of financial benefits). But it means we started building equity sooner and are in a better position than OP in our 40s. For us it was worth it because we grew up in families where money was always tight and there was never enough, so having financial stability before we had kids was really important. But it was hard and yes, I do wish we'd met earlier, or paid off our loans earlier, or lived in a lower COL area, all of which might have enabled us to both buy a home and have kids earlier. But you don't always hav perfect control over these things.

This is what the posters arguing that $2,500 isn't a lot for rent just don't understand. If you have kids before you buy a house, then you're stuck paying $2,500 or more for rent. OP is screwed because she didn't save and buy a house before kids, not because the market is unfair to her.

The last few years of the RE market have been absolutely wild. If you weren’t already on the home ownership ladder, it’s extremely difficult to compete with people who have had exploding equity in their starter homes. Also, does no one remember 2020 and 2021? Lots of layoffs, temporary salary cuts if people retained their jobs, and general uncertainty. People are being AHs to others who were more risk adverse during the early pandemic years. Hindsight is 20/20, but as someone who had a 25% salary cut in 2020, laid off in 2021, ended up purchasing in 2022, what did you want me and my husband to do, exactly?

[Anonymous]

OP we're 15 pages in and you haven't told us what you're priced out of. You've received a lot of options around locations to look, but you still haven't said what it is you are looking for. You keep saying "house-poor", what does that mean to you? What budget have you set for a house?

What is the number of bedrooms/bathrooms, lot size, location that you are looking for? What is the budget you are looking under? Are you ok with functional but not updated if the updates are only cosmetic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we're 15 pages in and you haven't told us what you're priced out of. You've received a lot of options around locations to look, but you still haven't said what it is you are looking for. You keep saying "house-poor", what does that mean to you? What budget have you set for a house?

What is the number of bedrooms/bathrooms, lot size, location that you are looking for? What is the budget you are looking under? Are you ok with functional but not updated if the updates are only cosmetic?

NP, but I think the answer is clear. PP wants a nice, big, new or remodeled house in a close-in suburb for much cheaper than others are willing to pay. In her mind, she is priced out of the entire DMV because that's obviously not possible.

[Anonymous]

I can't even. 300K gross? Wants something that's not a tear-down?

Switch on your news and look at the Gaza strip, moron. Then remind yourself that even for the DC area, you're way above average AND median incomes. A lot of people make less and have not-tear-down homes.

SERIOUSLY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Projection much? DH grew up in an apartment with shootings in the parking lot. His left when he was 10. I'd hardly call that UMC.

He and I both don't want to end up house poor, where we both have to work full time into our 70s. We both see that routinely in our workplaces and it scares us. These coworkers have nearly all of their net worth tied up in their homes and didn't start investing for retirement until they were in their 50s. Seeing that every day has made us far less eager to jump into a money pit without an inspection or an adequate reserve fund for structural repairs at our price point. We set a target for that fund (separate from downpayment, closing costs, etc.) and are saving for that. We save about 40% of our take home pay. I think that's decent for a family of four, and if we can't buy around here because I make a median salary and DH is topped out, we'll either have to change jobs and move or just keep renting. We'll be fine either way, as one PP noted, but it does mean that we run the risk of being priced out. It's all about choices. Some people are happy owning and working until they die, some people make 1M a year and save over 50% of their take home pay and can have it all. We are in between, and that's just reality.

15 pages, and we finally get to it. You aren't "priced out," you have made a bunch of conservative financial choices, and you are a bit particular about the house and location, and you are finding it difficult to satisfy *all* of those requirements at once.

That ain't priced out. JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I can't even. 300K gross? Wants something that's not a tear-down?

Switch on your news and look at the Gaza strip, moron. Then remind yourself that even for the DC area, you're way above average AND median incomes. A lot of people make less and have not-tear-down homes.

SERIOUSLY!

I think OP is ridiculous - but you are even more so. Because there is war in the middle east, people can't be disgruntled about their housing options? As long as we have a better place to live than a bombed our shack in Gaza, no complaining or wish for something better? Gimme a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord

I agree with the advice to save as much as you can early and buy a house before you have kids. Kids are just endless expenses, it never lets up. It just really makes sense to lock in a mortgage of some kind before you have them, because then that expense stays steady and you can plan family finances around it.

But I think it can be hard for many people because there's a generation of people who borrowed quite a bit of money for school. Your first priority after that is to pay down those loans (at least for many people) and that means focusing on work, not necessarily on finding a partner. So that means that people don't save as much in cash savings in their 20s as they used to, and it also means they get married later. So then you get married early 30s and don't always have much cash on hand. Some people get money from parents, or are high paid enough by then to save a down payment quickly, or do creative things like borrow agains their 401k (I know several people who did that, actually). But if there is no family assistance and your incomes are good but not great (especially if you live in a high COL area like DC), you'll be saving much more slowly.

But becoming parents is not something you can postpone indefinitely. And that's what leads to people having kids in their mid-30s before buying a home. They want to have kids while they are still relatively young, they aren't ready to buy, and then kids come along and make it really hard to save.

My DH and I resolved that problem by having a kid later. We prioritized buying a home and then I had a baby at 37. It's not necessarily the way we would have liked to do it, and it meant we only had one kid (which is sad in some ways but also has a lot of financial benefits). But it means we started building equity sooner and are in a better position than OP in our 40s. For us it was worth it because we grew up in families where money was always tight and there was never enough, so having financial stability before we had kids was really important. But it was hard and yes, I do wish we'd met earlier, or paid off our loans earlier, or lived in a lower COL area, all of which might have enabled us to both buy a home and have kids earlier. But you don't always hav perfect control over these things.

This is what the posters arguing that $2,500 isn't a lot for rent just don't understand. If you have kids before you buy a house, then you're stuck paying $2,500 or more for rent. OP is screwed because she didn't save and buy a house before kids, not because the market is unfair to her.

Read upthread. This post has a lot about OP wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve gotten a few good suggestions here but you would get more if you started a new thread just with your budget, family size/ages, commute locations and must haves (SF, # of BRs and BAs, lot size, SFH or TH, garage etc. etc.) Good luck!

I'm not outing myself to that level of detail. If you read the thread, I'm sure you can understand why that might be. No matter what I say, there will be raging character assignation and blame shifting, because that's what happens when people who have an income over 80k say that life isn't perfect, or people with incomes under 450k say that they exist in this metro area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve gotten a few good suggestions here but you would get more if you started a new thread just with your budget, family size/ages, commute locations and must haves (SF, # of BRs and BAs, lot size, SFH or TH, garage etc. etc.) Good luck!

I'm not outing myself to that level of detail. If you read the thread, I'm sure you can understand why that might be. No matter what I say, there will be raging character assignation and blame shifting, because that's what happens when people who have an income over 80k say that life isn't perfect, or people with incomes under 450k say that they exist in this metro area.

This is hilarious. If this is trolling, I give it a solid A. If this isn't trolling, you have completely lost your perspective.

It's true, life isn't perfect. If that's what you meant to post, it would have been a short thread.

But what you posted amounts to a long whine saying that you can't afford any house in the area, when what is true is that you can't afford something high end in a very niche market that lots of other people want and can afford.

Also, it is character assassination, not assignation. That's several times you've posted that. I hope you don't teach English....

Anyway, you have never answered why many of the areas/houses that people have posted are not good enough for you. Honestly, probably best you move somewhere far away where you can get the McCraftsman of your dreams.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of homes under 800K here in the Silver Spring /Einstein area. I have lived here 30 years. The houses are older, charming, and so what if you have to paint and get new cabinets. You make your house your own over the years.

[Anonymous]

Growing up we were a middle class family of 5 in a 1500 sq ft home. Then I lived in group houses and basement apartments. When I bought my house at 31 and it was 900 sq ft all to myself I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I had 3 bedrooms all to myself, wtf!

I paid all my school loans and car loan off and saved my 20% down payment by working 3 jobs. When i had my daughter I went down to one job. Another WTF! moment. So much free time!

Still live here with my daughter. She is 11. It is a perfect house for 2.

4 people only need 1200-1500 sq ft. It will be your home, not a house, with the right attitude.