Husband’s Announcement

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My father did this to my mother when I was 8 years old. Announced we were moving across country but at least he was taking a job with another branch of his then employer. In our case it meant leaving all the family we were close to and very close best friends that I and my brother had throughout our early childhood. We also left the best schools in the country and moved to some of the worst, in the bottom five. My brother and I who were both gifted students spent the remaining years of our public schooling being unchallenged and thus underperforming.

I know that sometimes people have to move, but I think it really sucks to move kids around in childhood without very compelling reasons. Childhood is a challenging journey as it is, to be uprooted at some point from all you know and love seems unnecessarily cruel unless the family cannot survive without the move - it shouldn’t be just on a parent’s whim.

Your mother should not have agreed. It was on both your parents.

Mothers didn’t have much choice at the time.

In what decade was this?

The 1980s and 1990s for my mom. My dad was the breadwinner. There was no choice. Not that long ago. This was common.

Only if she didn't want to support herself, which yours did not, I guess. Come on. Women have been supporting themselves for decades before that.

Most women working traditional jobs like a teacher, could not support themselves. My mom was mentally ill and could not hold down a job. No women in my family worked in those decades and assume that everyone did is ridiculous.

And also you’re assuming that most women worked in the 1980s and 1990s and that’s not true. I grew up in a rural area, and only places like Washington DC had women that were working then like Matt, when I were I grew up almost no women worked unless they were teachers were married. There’s no way a woman could support herself where I lived if she was divorced. I literally did not know any moms who are working moms unless they were teachers at school and married. Most of the country had to stay at home moms in the 1980s and 1990s— not career women like now. You are assuming the rest of the country is like this area and that’s far from the case especially decades ago. Women couldn’t even have their own bank account until the 1970s so you don’t even know what you’re talking about.

Those are some questionable generalizations you have made. Although many women were still not working outside the home in the '80s many also were. You said there's "no way" a woman could support herself if she was divorced? My grandmother supported herself and three kids and her mother in law as a single working mother in the 1920s in a small town in Illinois. My own mother supported herself and four kids after leaving my dad because he rarely paid child support, that was in the 1960s. As far as women having a bank account, that's ridiculous, I had my own checking account in the late 1960s and my mom had had her own for many years before that.

A woman cannot have her own bank account that you could open herself until 1974

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/banking/when-could-women-open-a-bank-account/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My father did this to my mother when I was 8 years old. Announced we were moving across country but at least he was taking a job with another branch of his then employer. In our case it meant leaving all the family we were close to and very close best friends that I and my brother had throughout our early childhood. We also left the best schools in the country and moved to some of the worst, in the bottom five. My brother and I who were both gifted students spent the remaining years of our public schooling being unchallenged and thus underperforming.

I know that sometimes people have to move, but I think it really sucks to move kids around in childhood without very compelling reasons. Childhood is a challenging journey as it is, to be uprooted at some point from all you know and love seems unnecessarily cruel unless the family cannot survive without the move - it shouldn’t be just on a parent’s whim.

Your mother should not have agreed. It was on both your parents.

Mothers didn’t have much choice at the time.

In what decade was this?

The 1980s and 1990s for my mom. My dad was the breadwinner. There was no choice. Not that long ago. This was common.

Only if she didn't want to support herself, which yours did not, I guess. Come on. Women have been supporting themselves for decades before that.

Most women working traditional jobs like a teacher, could not support themselves. My mom was mentally ill and could not hold down a job. No women in my family worked in those decades and assume that everyone did is ridiculous.

And also you’re assuming that most women worked in the 1980s and 1990s and that’s not true. I grew up in a rural area, and only places like Washington DC had women that were working then like Matt, when I were I grew up almost no women worked unless they were teachers were married. There’s no way a woman could support herself where I lived if she was divorced. I literally did not know any moms who are working moms unless they were teachers at school and married. Most of the country had to stay at home moms in the 1980s and 1990s— not career women like now. You are assuming the rest of the country is like this area and that’s far from the case especially decades ago. Women couldn’t even have their own bank account until the 1970s so you don’t even know what you’re talking about.

Those are some questionable generalizations you have made. Although many women were still not working outside the home in the '80s many also were. You said there's "no way" a woman could support herself if she was divorced? My grandmother supported herself and three kids and her mother in law as a single working mother in the 1920s in a small town in Illinois. My own mother supported herself and four kids after leaving my dad because he rarely paid child support, that was in the 1960s. As far as women having a bank account, that's ridiculous, I had my own checking account in the late 1960s and my mom had had her own for many years before that.

A woman cannot have her own bank account that you could open herself until 1974

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/banking/when-could-women-open-a-bank-account/

From the link you posted but did not understand:
"When Could Women Open a Bank Account?
It wasn’t until 1974, when the Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed, that women in the U.S. were granted the right to open a bank account on their own.

Technically, women won the right to open a bank account in the 1960s, but many banks still refused to let women do so without a signature from their husbands. This meant men still held control over women’s access to banking services, and unmarried women were often refused service by financial institutions."

It does not say they could not have them. It says many banks refused. It says women were often refused. It doesn't say all banks or that it was not possible. I guess in addition to not having jobs, women in your family don't read well, either?

[Anonymous]

Can we get back to OPs issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

With no jobs? How do you think they are going to survive? Are you insane?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

Lol, the "arrogance" of wanting to share major decisions in a marriage. Whether you're an MRA troll or an indoctrinated spouse, enjoy this take on life. Let us know how it works out for you!

I wasn't speaking of arrogance in her marriage. I'm talking about her refusal to leave the DMV.

The fact that you think the issue is merely geography says everything about your understanding of marriage.

I know it's not about geography. OP thinks she's too good for the rest of the country. Cry me a river.

She has a job here. It's not arrogant to want to have a plan for supporting your family.

If she's as special as she thinks she is, she'll have no trouble finding another.

And that is your plan to support your own family? What an imbecile.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ok I’m not getting how you DON’T follow your husband. How do you get a divorce over your location? And if it’s really this sudden, which I really don’t think it is and the OP is leaving something major out of her side of the story, then how do you not try to really see what’s going on with him emotionally? OP is hiding something bigger I think that she has not told us.

You get a divorce because you don't want to leave where you live and you aren't going to live with being ordered around.

And so typical, blaming the woman.

That seems like such a trivial reason to divorce.

Being *told* to move and uproot your life, and your children's lives, with no say in the matter, is trivial?

JFC, PP.

Happened to me twice. Happens to military and trailing spouses all the time.

Military spouses 100% know what they're getting into, sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

This is why military spouses have a reputation, PP. This is why my I told my husband "hell no, we're not moving anywhere on the VRE where the military mamas live". I don't want to raise my children around psychos like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

Lol, the "arrogance" of wanting to share major decisions in a marriage. Whether you're an MRA troll or an indoctrinated spouse, enjoy this take on life. Let us know how it works out for you!

I wasn't speaking of arrogance in her marriage. I'm talking about her refusal to leave the DMV.

The fact that you think the issue is merely geography says everything about your understanding of marriage.

I know it's not about geography. OP thinks she's too good for the rest of the country. Cry me a river.

You are INSANE. OP doesn't want to uproot her life/quit her job for this loser. You may not have a job and are happy following GI Joe around the country, but most people are not like you, sweetie pie. We have our own lives.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some right wing psychos have taken over this thread pretending to be housewives or military wives. OP's not coming back.

[Anonymous]

Father here. I feel his pain — with my kids in local schools facing a remarkable level of unwanted indoctrination. But, he can’t just declare his desire and force change. I hope you and he can find some level of reasonable accommodation — for the sake of your children. But, again, the default is the current as-is and it takes a mutual OK to change…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

Lol, the "arrogance" of wanting to share major decisions in a marriage. Whether you're an MRA troll or an indoctrinated spouse, enjoy this take on life. Let us know how it works out for you!

I wasn't speaking of arrogance in her marriage. I'm talking about her refusal to leave the DMV.

The fact that you think the issue is merely geography says everything about your understanding of marriage.

I know it's not about geography. OP thinks she's too good for the rest of the country. Cry me a river.

You are INSANE. OP doesn't want to uproot her life/quit her job for this loser. You may not have a job and are happy following GI Joe around the country, but most people are not like you, sweetie pie. We have our own lives.

Whoah, why are you going after servicemen and women? What’s wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

Lol, the "arrogance" of wanting to share major decisions in a marriage. Whether you're an MRA troll or an indoctrinated spouse, enjoy this take on life. Let us know how it works out for you!

I wasn't speaking of arrogance in her marriage. I'm talking about her refusal to leave the DMV.

The fact that you think the issue is merely geography says everything about your understanding of marriage.

I know it's not about geography. OP thinks she's too good for the rest of the country. Cry me a river.

She has a job here. It's not arrogant to want to have a plan for supporting your family.

If she's as special as she thinks she is, she'll have no trouble finding another.

Tell me you don't have a career without telling me you don't have a career.

What is this “tell me blah without telling me blah” thing about anyway? It’s possibly the most annoying trendy thing to say I see on dcurban mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

We're dealing with the rwnjs pushing their views of how we should live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're nuts, OP.

- military spouse who has no choice of what conservative or liberal area she moves to

Who on earth calls someone "nuts" for not agreeing to a life they never signed up for? What's wrong with you PP?

Oh, please. OP's DH is talking about ONE move. She needs to grow up. Some much-needed time in flyover country would knock that arrogance right out of her.

Lol, the "arrogance" of wanting to share major decisions in a marriage. Whether you're an MRA troll or an indoctrinated spouse, enjoy this take on life. Let us know how it works out for you!

I wasn't speaking of arrogance in her marriage. I'm talking about her refusal to leave the DMV.

The fact that you think the issue is merely geography says everything about your understanding of marriage.

I know it's not about geography. OP thinks she's too good for the rest of the country. Cry me a river.

She has a job here. It's not arrogant to want to have a plan for supporting your family.

If she's as special as she thinks she is, she'll have no trouble finding another.

Tell me you don't have a career without telling me you don't have a career.

What is this “tell me blah without telling me blah” thing about anyway? It’s possibly the most annoying trendy thing to say I see on dcurban mom.

I'm not pp but you're a jerk. Op isn't refusing to leave the dmv. You and your stepford wife friends intentionally misconstrue the issue here just like that orange grifter you love and your favorite news channel which employees people who have admitted they lie all the time.

Op's husband has some issues and she should be concerned. No one would make me move under the circumstances she outlined. Your hatred toward op is so obvious when you trivialize her concern about leaving her job. Both she and her husband would move without jobs to a location that may not have lots of jobs.

You're just another mra misogynist who loves hating on women. You're never going to make us subservient again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Father here. I feel his pain — with my kids in local schools facing a remarkable level of unwanted indoctrination. But, he can’t just declare his desire and force change. I hope you and he can find some level of reasonable accommodation — for the sake of your children. But, again, the default is the current as-is and it takes a mutual OK to change…

I ended up pulling my kids out of school and homeschooling for a while until we found another school. What really killed me was that so much time was being spent on this social indoctrination and social emotional learning, but no one seemed to have time to spend with kids who were struggling with math or writing. So, they were going to school during the day where they were being taught social values, then coming home where I had to teach them how to do long division and read actual good books that weren’t free from scholastic or written by Dav Pilkey. It’s so backwards.

I live in Omaha, by the way. Dead center fly over country.