Ted Lasso - Season 3

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05/08/2023 10:08

Subject: Ted Lasso - Season 3

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of us were a bit worried about Nate when Rupert was love bombing him to come to ManU. I wouldn't have really had a problem with Nate leaving Ted's team for a better position, if it hadn't been for the awful things he was saying about Ted as and after he was doing it. I resented Nate's comments; they were so small of him when Ted was the hand up to Nate becoming more than just a towel boy. To spit back in the face of that was wrong, to me, whatever promotion decisions he was making, as was his right as team coach.

I've never written about Nate as a villain on this board, but some of his actions, to me, have been morally wrong. Sure, move teams. But don't belittle the guy who believed in you when you were nothing.

Not endorsing Nate's behavior, but I think Ted Lasso would say that no one is ever "nothing" and everyone deserves to be believed in.

Sure, everyone deserves it, but not everyone gives it, and nobody gave Nate a real chance before Ted. Insulting the people who took the time to nurture you when you were starting up is rather awful. Who is Nate believing in, exactly, besides himself?

And I like the journey Nate is on, but he's going to need to do more changing. What kind of respect is he giving to his players when he belittles them at practice and scares them into working hard? That's his coaching style now, apparently. I don't think we're supposed to admire that, although I guess it could achieve results. Nate is clearly questioning the belief system that has gotten him to this point and that's a good thing, I hope he keeps going.

I'm the poster above who thinks the show is about power dynamics and, in particular, power imbalances in relationships. I think seen from that angle, there's a different take on this.

I think there's a problem with a relationship where one person must always be grateful to the other person, especially if the thing they are supposed to be grateful for is that the other person didn't treat them as poorly as other people have always treated them.

I don't think Nate has handled the situation very maturely (my sense is that he is really still learning both how to communicate his wants and needs, and how to control his emotions, but that is understandable -- lots of people with emotionally distant/negligent parents struggle with that), but I don't think it's wrong that he feels frustration towards Ted. I don't really agree that Ted nurtured Nate. He promoted him to the coaching staff, but that was on the basis of Nate's skill and understanding of the game. And Nate is stronger in the area Ted is weakest in (strategy). Of course, Ted is strongest in the area Nate is weakest in (motivating, player relationships), but during the time Nate was on the coaching staff, Ted was actually kind of absent from that due to his own issues and farmed it out to Roy, who certainly didn't take Nate under his wing. And also since Nate and Roy had previously had a very different relationship where Roy had way more power, I can see how it would be hard for them both to acclimate to a peer relationship. And Ted didn't really do anything to ease that transition, or really even seem to recognize why it could be an issue.

As I said before, there are major power imbalances in Nate's relationship with Rupert and I do think they will become a problem. But I can also see how, from Nate's perspective, his relationship with Rupert is healthier than the one with Ted because Rupert didn't just promote Nate, he gave Nate real authority AND he supports him in his role. Rupert does not treat Nate as a charity project -- he really, really wants Nate to succeed (for selfish reasons) and is actually nurturing him (sometimes toward bad behavior). Nate felt hung out to dry by Ted -- promoted but then kind of abandoned. There is something to this. Ted might be a better person generally than Rupert, but on the issue of Nate, Rupert may have done a lot more to actually empower Nate and help him get to a point where he has real self-confidence.

One thing I like about the show is how NOT black and white it is. I think it's kind of great that there is a way of looking at this where Rupert is the good guy and Ted is not. That's so much more interesting to me than Ted always being the hero. I think Ted screwed up here.