Is it a status symbol to marry young?

[Anonymous]

To be fair, every 21+ adult is free to decide when they want to marry, early or late. Neither way is better or worse, individuals and their circumstances determine the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying young is like a tattoo, bad judgment. Neither position people for a good future.

This. The only people I know who marry early who have money have daughters who struggle academically and the parents don't think they will ever manage a job. No one in my umc neighborhood wants their kids to marry until at least their later 20s.

+1 Marrying young usually means: 1) family is very religious and wants daughter locked down early, 2) daughter has plateaued with respect to career/academic ambitions, and better to have her locked down early, or 3) daughter is pregnant (because she was not locked down early.)

What a weird comment. Nobody's career potential is "plateaued" in 20's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying young is like a tattoo, bad judgment. Neither position people for a good future.

This. The only people I know who marry early who have money have daughters who struggle academically and the parents don't think they will ever manage a job. No one in my umc neighborhood wants their kids to marry until at least their later 20s.

+1 Marrying young usually means: 1) family is very religious and wants daughter locked down early, 2) daughter has plateaued with respect to career/academic ambitions, and better to have her locked down early, or 3) daughter is pregnant (because she was not locked down early.)

What a weird comment. Nobody's career potential is "plateaued" in 20's.

Uh, what? Millions of Americans "plateau" in high school every year. Lots of college-educated people can't hack it in the working world.

I know 5 women who went to Harvard undergrad (children of very wealthy legacies) who had dropped out of the work force by late 20s and never worked again because they got married. Nevermind that some of them didn't even have kids for another 4-5 years, but that it was just expected that women in their circles didn't work once they got married. As one does in Texas, the Upper East Side, and Newport.

TBH, I wish they had given those spots at Harvard to first gen kids who would've hustled after earning that degree.

[Anonymous]

The only people I know who married in their early 20s were girls who were hs drop outs or not going to college or their parents were extremely religious. If a girl goes to Liberty, assume she's going to be married within a year of either dropping out or graduating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:25-27 isn't actually that young to be married. 31-36 is on the older side depending on how many kids you hope to have and how quickly you want to pop them out.

Women who have good, professional jobs tend to marry later. Girls who don't have much going on marry younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are college educated, by the end of college or grad school you have seen the whole field of potential partners. There is nothing of value that can be gained from waiting longer, the pool just gets smaller and smaller. Smart and observant people pair off early.

Maybe for men, but for women, early marriage usually means less time to figure out who you are as a person. It's good to be single and just casually dating or not dating at all so you can spend some time just being free to do what you want.

This is a stereotype but men generally do just fine being who they want to be and doing what they want to do after they are married and before kids, and generally speaking they are better about being their own person and maintaining their own identity after they have kids too.

I did exactly what i wanted. I focused on my career, i pursued hobbies, i had girl trips galore and he hung out with his friends, we traveled a ton. By being together we had a lot more money, structure and stability to do things we always wanted to do. Started having kids in early 30s.

This only works if you snag a good partner you are compatible with. It is bad advice to tell women to drop a guy like this because you met too early and you need to find yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are college educated, by the end of college or grad school you have seen the whole field of potential partners. There is nothing of value that can be gained from waiting longer, the pool just gets smaller and smaller. Smart and observant people pair off early.

No, you have seen a limited pool of ONLY your school mates. What about someone who went to a different school, or is four years older or younger?! Observant and smart people aren't so myopic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are college educated, by the end of college or grad school you have seen the whole field of potential partners. There is nothing of value that can be gained from waiting longer, the pool just gets smaller and smaller. Smart and observant people pair off early.

No, you have seen a limited pool of ONLY your school mates. What about someone who went to a different school, or is four years older or younger?! Observant and smart people aren't so myopic.

What? Of course you meet people who are 4 years older or younger, or who go to a different school or who have just started working. There are so many events, parties, get togethers, bar hoping, communal housing, friends of friends. Where are you going to meet so many people in your 30's? Tinder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some ways it is a status symbol, but only if the wife drops out of the work force soon after marrying (either due to getting pregnant or wanting to "volunteer").

It's usually a pair of young adults from wealthy families: the wife will marry by her late 20s and then leave the work force or quickly get pregnant. There's always some family money involved. Always.

We got married in DC in our early 20s and wife didn’t go into the workforce. No family money. Just people who valued things differently.

Unless you’re making an axiomatic statement, “always” is almost always wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25-27 isn't actually that young to be married. 31-36 is on the older side depending on how many kids you hope to have and how quickly you want to pop them out.

Women who have good, professional jobs tend to marry later. Girls who don't have much going on marry younger.

Let me fix it for you. Some women who have good, professional jobs tend to marry later. Some women who doesn't have much going on marry younger. We cant generalize, some women marry later because they didn't meet the right person or seemingly right person wasn't interested. Some women doesn't have much going on but doesn't marry early. Some young women marry early but they still pursue advance education, career advancement and personal growth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25-27 isn't actually that young to be married. 31-36 is on the older side depending on how many kids you hope to have and how quickly you want to pop them out.

Women who have good, professional jobs tend to marry later. Girls who don't have much going on marry younger.

We are only talking about 21+ adult, college educated women here, not underage girls.

[Anonymous]

No, it's just dumb.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with not being career oriented or having PhD but driven women make it happen, no matter if they are married or single. Whatever makes you happy and let you meet YOUR personal goals do that. Its not like marrying late and being successful offers guaranteed happiness. It sure gives you independence and accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it's just dumb.

Sour grapes. One hat doesn't fit all heads. Their is no one absolute path for ALL to follow.

[Anonymous]

It sure is easier to focus on yourself and your future if you aren't caring for another adult and babies.