Since this is anonymous, why did you REALLY redshirt your kid?

[Anonymous]

The anti-redshirting poster comes off as the one who is desperate to get some kind of advantage for their kid. Why else are they so upset about them having some competition?

Let it go, OP. The world will eat your DC alive if you think they can only make it if they have to have no real competition in order to win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I want her to go to medical school and any advantage will help and because I was extremely young for my grade and it was terrible.

Why didn't you take a gap year between high school and college?

[Anonymous]

I was redshirted (end of July birthday), because my parents did not want me to be the youngest in my grade (my mother was always the youngest in her grade and disliked it). I went to ivies, played sports in college, and am successful by all markers. That said, I had to play a year up in travel soccer (the cut-off was two days after my birthday) and got a lot of questions about "why I was old" in K-12 and college. I was a sensitive kid and the perceived judgement from other kids really bothered me. My husband has a beginning of July birthday and he also went to ivies and is very successful (his kindergarten teacher recommended that he be held back a year). I actually purposefully tried to get pregnant so that our child would not have a summer birthday and could avoid being either the youngest/oldest in her grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people back their tall, mature, academically and athletically gifted 5 year olds with birthdays months before the cut off. WHY?
I know one who made the decision when her kid was one (July birthday)

Is it just so your kid has advantages socially and athletically and breezes through?

Mine was tall and athletic (as per a 5 y/o, anyway) and I held him back bc he was socially immature and needed a little bit more time to complete speech and OT. His bday is late august, less than a week later and it wouldn't have been a choice anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my mother was always the youngest in her grade and disliked it.

Why didn't she take a gap year between high school and college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people back their tall, mature, academically and athletically gifted 5 year olds with birthdays months before the cut off. WHY?
I know one who made the decision when her kid was one (July birthday)

Is it just so your kid has advantages socially and athletically and breezes through?

DP Since this is anonymous why do you care what other people do with their kids? And no, my kids went on time but, one just took a gap year so is a year "behind".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people back their tall, mature, academically and athletically gifted 5 year olds with birthdays months before the cut off. WHY?
I know one who made the decision when her kid was one (July birthday)

Is it just so your kid has advantages socially and athletically and breezes through?

LOL.

[Anonymous]

My oldest couldn’t even hold a pencil at the end of what was supposed to be his PreK year and had limited positive peer interactions. He was a late August and we could have sent him but the likelihood of him not being labeled a distraction and causing peer social isolation was low. Very good decision for him as with the kids he is in its closer to his still behind social skills.

[Anonymous]

Move to Baltimore, peoples. All the independent schools here mandate redshirting, so there isn't the same amount of handwringing about "holding back" kids (lol). And the not-redshirt-eligible parents just suck it up and somehow deal with it that their kids are not the oldest in the class anymore.

Our kid was recommended for the extra year (as indeed all late summer birthdays are), we took it, and no regrets.

If your kid is a fragile flower who can't endure being in classroom with a kid 14 months older, then I guess find a school district that doesn't allow redshirting. As long as it's allowed, people will do it if they think it's best for their kids -- and you're terribly arrogant to demand that they do otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest couldn’t even hold a pencil at the end of what was supposed to be his PreK year and had limited positive peer interactions. He was a late August and we could have sent him but the likelihood of him not being labeled a distraction and causing peer social isolation was low. Very good decision for him as with the kids he is in its closer to his still behind social skills.

If you really think he truly belongs in the year below, I trust that you're not going to enroll him in any competitions, such as class president, valedictorian, top 20 colleges, etc., right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If your kid is a fragile flower who can't endure being in classroom with a kid 14 months older, then I guess find a school district that doesn't allow redshirting. As long as it's allowed, people will do it if they think it's best for their kids -- and you're terribly arrogant to demand that they do otherwise.

But not as arrogant as parents who try to show off how much smarter their kid is than someone 14 months younger than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my mother was always the youngest in her grade and disliked it.

Why didn't she take a gap year between high school and college?

Not PP but how would a gap year help PP's mother who disliked it DURING her K-12 school years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most redshirted kids don’t do well socially

uh what are you basing that on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though he's mature and independent and was reading when he started K, he struggles a bit more at school.

Personally, I'd rather my kid do okay playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

LOL. I love how a decision that another family makes is "cheating" just because you are terrified it will give their kid an edge over your precious little Larla.

It's not cheating. The rules explicitly allow it. Make choices for your own family, and let others make theirs without having to listen to your whining about how the small percentage of slightly older kids is ruining your darling's experience.

I guess redshirting isn't cheating as long as the redshirted kid isn't allowed to enter any competitions, such as class president or valedictorian. They also shouldn't be allowed to take honors or AP classes, because if a redshirted kid is feeling bored and unchallenged, all that means is that they shouldn't have been redshirted, and that the parents and school really consider moving them to their age-appropriate grade. If redshirted kids wants to play sports, they should be forced to play in their age-appropriate grade. I don't even think redshirted kids should be allowed to apply to any top-20 colleges.

If parents who redshirt really aren't doing it for competitive reasons, then they should be fine with their child not being allowed to compete. Otherwise, they're taking away the victory from an age-appropriate classmate who truly deserved it. If an 11-year-old 5th-grader becomes class president, that means they're being rewarded for proving that they're smarter than most 10-year-olds(How much sense does that make?). A 15-year-old 9th grader taking all honor's classes is only proving that they're too advanced for 14-year-old work. If a high-school senior who should be a college freshman is named valedictorian, they've just robbed the salutatorian of some well-earned glory. If a redshirted student gets into Harvard, they've just killed a life-long dream of whoever was first on the Harvard waiting list.

Okay. As you seem to be worried about unjust advantages, I assume you will also bar kids from "good" school districts, kids in private schools, kids who can afford outside tutoring, and kids who are born to wealthy parents. Those kids did nothing to deserve those advantages and those advantages have a far, far more significant impact on poorer kids than redshirting. Looking forward to hearing you walk the walk. Or are you just s hypocrite?

Usually, all the kids from a school have similar backgrounds. So a kid from a wealthy family is most likely going to go to a school where his or her classmates are also from wealthy families and will, therefore, only be competing against other kids from wealthy backgrounds. Conversely, a kid from a poor family is most likely going to go to a school where his or her classmates are also from poor families and will, therefore, only be competing against other kids from boor backgrounds. And usually, you have to take, and pass, a test to get into a private school, so a kid at a private school probably did earn that advantage.

so the wealthy only go to schools with wealthy and the poor only with poor? where the heck do you live? under a rock?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though he's mature and independent and was reading when he started K, he struggles a bit more at school.

Personally, I'd rather my kid do okay playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

LOL. I love how a decision that another family makes is "cheating" just because you are terrified it will give their kid an edge over your precious little Larla.

It's not cheating. The rules explicitly allow it. Make choices for your own family, and let others make theirs without having to listen to your whining about how the small percentage of slightly older kids is ruining your darling's experience.

I guess redshirting isn't cheating as long as the redshirted kid isn't allowed to enter any competitions, such as class president or valedictorian. They also shouldn't be allowed to take honors or AP classes, because if a redshirted kid is feeling bored and unchallenged, all that means is that they shouldn't have been redshirted, and that the parents and school really consider moving them to their age-appropriate grade. If redshirted kids wants to play sports, they should be forced to play in their age-appropriate grade. I don't even think redshirted kids should be allowed to apply to any top-20 colleges.

If parents who redshirt really aren't doing it for competitive reasons, then they should be fine with their child not being allowed to compete. Otherwise, they're taking away the victory from an age-appropriate classmate who truly deserved it. If an 11-year-old 5th-grader becomes class president, that means they're being rewarded for proving that they're smarter than most 10-year-olds(How much sense does that make?). A 15-year-old 9th grader taking all honor's classes is only proving that they're too advanced for 14-year-old work. If a high-school senior who should be a college freshman is named valedictorian, they've just robbed the salutatorian of some well-earned glory. If a redshirted student gets into Harvard, they've just killed a life-long dream of whoever was first on the Harvard waiting list.

You'll be pleased to know that our redshirted kid is still at the bottom of her class - because she has developmental issues. So your snowflakes won't be competing with her for a spot at Harvard. You are a giant ass.