Since this is anonymous, why did you REALLY redshirt your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though he's mature and independent and was reading when he started K, he struggles a bit more at school.

Personally, I'd rather my kid do okay playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

LOL. I love how a decision that another family makes is "cheating" just because you are terrified it will give their kid an edge over your precious little Larla.

It's not cheating. The rules explicitly allow it. Make choices for your own family, and let others make theirs without having to listen to your whining about how the small percentage of slightly older kids is ruining your darling's experience.

I guess redshirting isn't cheating as long as the redshirted kid isn't allowed to enter any competitions, such as class president or valedictorian. They also shouldn't be allowed to take honors or AP classes, because if a redshirted kid is feeling bored and unchallenged, all that means is that they shouldn't have been redshirted, and that the parents and school really consider moving them to their age-appropriate grade. If redshirted kids wants to play sports, they should be forced to play in their age-appropriate grade. I don't even think redshirted kids should be allowed to apply to any top-20 colleges.

If parents who redshirt really aren't doing it for competitive reasons, then they should be fine with their child not being allowed to compete. Otherwise, they're taking away the victory from an age-appropriate classmate who truly deserved it. If an 11-year-old 5th-grader becomes class president, that means they're being rewarded for proving that they're smarter than most 10-year-olds(How much sense does that make?). A 15-year-old 9th grader taking all honor's classes is only proving that they're too advanced for 14-year-old work. If a high-school senior who should be a college freshman is named valedictorian, they've just robbed the salutatorian of some well-earned glory. If a redshirted student gets into Harvard, they've just killed a life-long dream of whoever was first on the Harvard waiting list.

I am the PP who is redshirting to avoid the military draft in DH’s country of origin. I hate the idea of my kid getting excluded from things. What es kid would understand that? But I also hate the idea of him dying on the battlefield or succumbing to peer pressure in college because he is trying to fit in. You really need to stay in your own lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool teacher recommended it because our DS, whose birthday was right on the cut off, was shy. I almost cried, I was so ready for him to start kindergarten, and I asked her repeatedly as we neared the end of the school year if she still felt the same way. She did, so I signed him up for one more year of preschool.

I think he would have been fine if he had gone to school with his peers. He still had a difficult time relaxing in the beginning of each school year anyway, which was his only issue, so it didn't really help him to wait. He's not an athlete so it didn't benefit him that way, and he's also off the charts smart so I don't think he had an advantage academically either. So all in all, I really don't think it was a benefit.

I know kids who skipped a grade who are sort of left out socially as kids enter puberty. That seems worse.

Eh. Not always. Too big of a generalization to make.

I skipped a grade and wasn't left out at all socially.

[Anonymous]

My son was born in mid-November, in our district the cutoff is November 1. If I could easily ignore that I probably would, but we had to jump through a few hoops, so he was redshirted. Definitely no physical advantage - he’s always been on a smaller side for his age, probably some advantage maturity wise. But if he’d gone to school in his year, he would have definitely been one of the youngest tiniest students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though he's mature and independent and was reading when he started K, he struggles a bit more at school.

Personally, I'd rather my kid do okay playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

LOL. I love how a decision that another family makes is "cheating" just because you are terrified it will give their kid an edge over your precious little Larla.

It's not cheating. The rules explicitly allow it. Make choices for your own family, and let others make theirs without having to listen to your whining about how the small percentage of slightly older kids is ruining your darling's experience.

I guess redshirting isn't cheating as long as the redshirted kid isn't allowed to enter any competitions, such as class president or valedictorian. They also shouldn't be allowed to take honors or AP classes, because if a redshirted kid is feeling bored and unchallenged, all that means is that they shouldn't have been redshirted, and that the parents and school really consider moving them to their age-appropriate grade. If redshirted kids wants to play sports, they should be forced to play in their age-appropriate grade. I don't even think redshirted kids should be allowed to apply to any top-20 colleges.

If parents who redshirt really aren't doing it for competitive reasons, then they should be fine with their child not being allowed to compete. Otherwise, they're taking away the victory from an age-appropriate classmate who truly deserved it. If an 11-year-old 5th-grader becomes class president, that means they're being rewarded for proving that they're smarter than most 10-year-olds(How much sense does that make?). A 15-year-old 9th grader taking all honor's classes is only proving that they're too advanced for 14-year-old work. If a high-school senior who should be a college freshman is named valedictorian, they've just robbed the salutatorian of some well-earned glory. If a redshirted student gets into Harvard, they've just killed a life-long dream of whoever was first on the Harvard waiting list.

But I also hate the idea of him dying on the battlefield or succumbing to peer pressure in college because he is trying to fit in.

If you want your child to fit in, doesn't it make more sense to send them on time than hold back? The vast majority of kids go to school on time, so a red-shirted kid will almost always be the oddball in terms of age when they're with a group of their classmates.

[Anonymous]

If you want your child to fit in, doesn't it make more sense to send them on time than hold back? The vast majority of kids go to school on time, so a red-shirted kid will almost always be the oddball in terms of age when they're with a group of their classmates.

These are kids on the cusp. If I'd held my daughter, she'd have been 2 weeks older than the non redshirted kids in VA and not redshirted in MD. She's either going to be the oldest or youngest. She's not going to "fit in" to either group. If I don't redshirt she'll be 17 for the first month of college, or 18 if redshirted. In no circumstance would she ever be 19 in HS (for those who can't do math).

I didn't redshirt, but my daughter has really struggled with maturity and has trouble making friends with kids in her grade. She has been bullied and left out. She cries on weeknights that she doesnt get enough time to play. She's very stressed by the behavior expectations, which shows up in tantrums, sleep walking, ritualistic behaviors, and bed wetting. If anything she'd "fit in" better with the class below her, though academically she could easily be another grade ahead. She is a much much happier kid with no stress behaviors during the summer, when she attends camps. It's really hard for her to constantly be "playing up" maturity wise at school. It's not a good fit for her and I worry about her mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was born in mid-November, in our district the cutoff is November 1. If I could easily ignore that I probably would, but we had to jump through a few hoops, so he was redshirted. Definitely no physical advantage - he’s always been on a smaller side for his age, probably some advantage maturity wise. But if he’d gone to school in his year, he would have definitely been one of the youngest tiniest students.

That's not redshirting. You followed the cutoff.

[Anonymous]

Our daughter was born in September of 1992 and our son was born in December of 1993. We really wanted our kids to be together in school, so we sent them both to Kingergarten in the fall of 1998, when our daughter was almost 6 and our son was 3 months shy of his 5th birthday. They had lots of classes together, always transitioned schools together, graduated high school together, started college together, etc.

[Anonymous]

Why OP keeps bring up redshirt? There are always some kids who are taller, stronger, or smarter than your kids, regardless age.

[Anonymous]

Learning disability + sports + no spots in their actual grade when we applied to private.

[Anonymous]

We thought about redshirting our premature twins, one who is emotionally immature and another with medical issues. Their teacher recommended it. Now with Covid, it is a no brainer in my mind.

[Anonymous]

We moved back from overseas, and my DC was redshirted by the district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why OP keeps bring up redshirt? There are always some kids who are taller, stronger, or smarter than your kids, regardless age.

+1 My daughter was a nov birthday (so on the older side of the grade) and at 18 she’s about 5”2. She was a pretty good student but not nmsf level or anything.

[Anonymous]

Most redshirted kids don’t do well socially

[Anonymous]

Because I want her to go to medical school and any advantage will help and because I was extremely young for my grade and it was terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I want her to go to medical school and any advantage will help and because I was extremely young for my grade and it was terrible.

😂😂