Family Beach House- DS and Friends Using it for Summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the boys should be paying $1000 for the summer, family or not. They need some skin in the game to keep costs down, and take care of the place. Everyone pays or no one stays would be my advice.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

It’s really the same as renting “the carriage house”. The owners live in the main house and they rent the carriage house. Or English basement. Same deal.
I think the boys mother was extremely entitled to expect beach house room for free for the whole summer. Summer workers have bunked up like that forever. Also it’s got AC and free access to the main house and I’m sure the setting is beautiful. The other boy who looked saw it for what it was and said yes.
OP is well rid of this unhappy renter. Already calling names.

[Anonymous]

It all comes down to whether you think of your kid’s friends as community or potential profit center.

[Anonymous]

Ahhh, the old hanger-ons. We've had a house in Kitty Hawk for 34 years and I can't even count how many Alexandria 'friends' thought they and their kids could help themselves to our beach house. It's something special, OP. We found that you just need to cut them off. They are like leeches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It all comes down to whether you think of your kid’s friends as community or potential profit center.

Yeah! Because 3 families are getting rich off $1000 split three ways, after utilities, and giving up access to the family beach house!

OP- this is the level of trash youre dealing with. Scum all around us!

[Anonymous]

The friend wasn’t looking for a place to rent at the beach. He also wasn’t shopping around for 3 months of free accommodations. He was simply excited about being invited to live with his buddy at the beach for the summer. What makes the friend (or his mom) a freeloader if there was no mention of a lease and rental fees until after the invitation was accepted?

And don’t forget, the reason for inviting the friend wasn’t because the family wanted to rent out their glorified shed; it was because OP’s son didn’t want to spend the whole summer away from all of his friends. If one of my friends wanted me to rent crappy accommodations (that cost them almost nothing!) from them for several months just so that they’d have me around to entertain them, I wouldn’t feel like that was a great deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid is living there. There are expenses to the house. Yes, he should pay rent. How is this a question? Any decent parent would offer the other parent some money to cover expenses. If the other bedrooms are full or OP is using them then what they are offering is ok.

The kid didn't answer a "renter wanted" ad; he was invited to stay by his friend. Do your kids invite friends to places and then tell them they have to pay for the experience? Hopefully not.

We have a beach house, as do many of our friends, and our kids' friends often stay for weeks at a time during the summer. Not a one of us would ever consider charging them rent, because that's not how decent people treat their children's friends. And yes, they all offer to contribute money, which we decline, or they offer to cook dinner frequently or help with maintenance, which we accept. There is no reason to think that the friend and his family wouldn't have done something similar, but that's very different from being told, after he accepted the invitation, that they'll need to pay.

I'm particularly puzzled by the bit where OP says her in-laws want the guest to pay this money as a way to offset any damage to the property. What if OP's kid or the nephews or their friends end up causing damage and the kid is blameless? Hopefully this lease for the shed rental is going to cover that scenario.

Once OP said two of the BILs are lawyers, it all made sense. This is giving me flashbacks to when I was looking for a living situation right out of college and one of the people looking for roommate had a lease where she could kick out the person with 30 days notice, you couldn’t have guests after a certain time and you couldn’t make noise after 10 or 11pm. Her mom was a lawyer and had written up this lease. That one of those things where clearly everything was being written up in her favor while I would be paying market rate rent with no rights in the apartment. Yup, hard pass. There was another where the brother owned the guest house that for rent and she would be the roommate. Beautiful properly but I felt like if anything went wrong, even if it wasn’t me, I would be on the hook. My preference is either clearly a guest or equal tenants.

[Anonymous]

I dont understand all the people who are willing to house another persons kid for a summer with no compensation. Maybe if the kid were poor and destitute. I treat my kids friends to dinner and pay if i invite them but would never be willing to house them for a summer with no compensation no matter how wealthy I am. My kid is one thing, theoretically I could have my kid sign a lease but agree to pay the costs. Im all about me and mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont understand all the people who are willing to house another persons kid for a summer with no compensation. Maybe if the kid were poor and destitute. I treat my kids friends to dinner and pay if i invite them but would never be willing to house them for a summer with no compensation no matter how wealthy I am. My kid is one thing, theoretically I could have my kid sign a lease but agree to pay the costs. Im all about me and mine.

I think that’s one of the big dividing lines here—some of us treat our kids’ friends as family and others don’t. I would happily host any of my teen and college age kids’ close friends for a summer. They are great and fun to be around, and the thought of compensation would not enter my mind. In OP’s scenario though, no one is hosting as there will be no parents around. It seems obvious to me that all four boys should be treated the same in terms of rent, a deposit, maintenance etc, but clearly some people have very different values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading this thread you can tell exactly who owns a second property and who wishes they did.
The situation is awkward in that the owners kids are staying in their home without charge. Surprising.
Another friend was offered the opportunity to stay with them in the extra room and pay a nominal rent. Not a relative. And for the whole summer.
Anyone who is an owner would expect some rent. Any free loader would want it for free and call the owner an asshole.

We have a second home. No shack. I would never charge my kids’ friends. Ever. If we agreed to have them live there for a period of time, it would absolutely be free.

+1. We have a shared family home and the idea that someone would come as a guest and be charged rent is insane. I feel like reading this thread you can just tell who's let the money go to.their heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont understand all the people who are willing to house another persons kid for a summer with no compensation. Maybe if the kid were poor and destitute. I treat my kids friends to dinner and pay if i invite them but would never be willing to house them for a summer with no compensation no matter how wealthy I am. My kid is one thing, theoretically I could have my kid sign a lease but agree to pay the costs. Im all about me and mine.

I'm on of.thise people. I might tell ALL the boys they're ok the hook for utilities etc for the summer but that's it and that's mostly to make them feel responsible. I'd never try to profit off of it. I think that's why OPs story is crazy. Utilities sure. But they're trying to make money off of their kids living there for the summer. And not a lot of money so.they clearly dont need it. It's just weird tbh.

[Anonymous]

I just read OPs post. The men are going to live there and work at summer jobs. It’s not a vacation where you bring a friend along — it’s a summer job which requires housing. Expecting to have summer housing for free from a friend is very entitled. Having Mom get outraged and calling names over what is a very good deal for summer housing is a prediction of things to come. OP did the right thing withdrawing the offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont understand all the people who are willing to house another persons kid for a summer with no compensation. Maybe if the kid were poor and destitute. I treat my kids friends to dinner and pay if i invite them but would never be willing to house them for a summer with no compensation no matter how wealthy I am. My kid is one thing, theoretically I could have my kid sign a lease but agree to pay the costs. Im all about me and mine.

I'm on of.thise people. I might tell ALL the boys they're ok the hook for utilities etc for the summer but that's it and that's mostly to make them feel responsible. I'd never try to profit off of it. I think that's why OPs story is crazy. Utilities sure. But they're trying to make money off of their kids living there for the summer. And not a lot of money so.they clearly dont need it. It's just weird tbh.

$1000 for 3 months at the beach is hardly profiting. All of that money will go to utilities. It would have been better to have all of the boys pay utilities but they are the owners sons. If that is going to be a problem - they own the house and you don’t — better to drop out sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahhh, the old hanger-ons. We've had a house in Kitty Hawk for 34 years and I can't even count how many Alexandria 'friends' thought they and their kids could help themselves to our beach house. It's something special, OP. We found that you just need to cut them off. They are like leeches.

The best part about this thread is the people getting all puffed up about a house in . . . Kitty Hawk.

[Anonymous]

No one is getting rich of the $100. Lets be real. The kids share of water, electricity, gas, and cable/internet is easily $150 a month. Insurance is easily another $75 on top, then taxes are probably another $100. So, just the cost of having him there is $250 a month or $750 a summer. That means he's getting a private, air conditioned room for $83 a month.

So its fair to say the kid is living for nearly free. Or at the very least he is extremely subsidized.

I'm in team OP camp.

Screw the wannabe free loader.