I want out of this marriage. I want to scream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.

He actually said that he was the best you could do? Wow. I'd see that as a challenge.

Work on yourself, OP. Shape up. Plan your exit. Get some childcare for the kids and either go back to your career (full time or part time) or start a business or side job. Get yourself in control of your finances. Look after yourself. Get your power back.

Him telling you that is abusive. My ex used to say that to me. It's a control tactic. I suspect he knows there are some self-esteem issues going on with you. You can certainly do better. Being with someone who isn't abusive is doing a whole lot better. I work and I'm a single mom and with split custody, I have more time to myself than I ever did married. I also have more money with child support and with a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 children under the age of ten. Of course your life revolves around childcare. Grow up.

If you divorce your husband, your life will still revolve around childcare except you’ll be divorced, working, and your life will suck even more.

Not OP, but shut up. She said she IS childcare. Meaning to him. While he still has a life and career outside of the children. His life doesn't revolve at all around childcare. Are you prepared to go tell him to grow up now? Those kids are his too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like older generations accepted that life can be hard , boring and miserable in phases. Social media is loaded with whining. The whole idea people get that their life is supposed to be so fulfilling doesn't seem to be actually making people happy. Seems like more are bitchy, angry, frustrated or demoralized.

Gets it. Women only care about themselves.

that's why they hide from their family at the office from 7:30am to 7pm. clear priorities there. or where they backed into a corner to do their 1950s roles?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm a very educated woman, work in high-paying career track, am married with two kids.
My husband sounds like yours in many ways and struggles with his role since we're very unlike his family structure (nutty professor dad and SAHM mom). Plus he doesn't talk more nor have many friends.

WHen our kids were small we were heading towards divorce since he couldn't handle anything and was unreliable. meet with a divorce attorney to go over your scenarios. You may decide what I decided, and many of my like-minded women friends did: You have to mentally write-off your spouse. He is not there for you, the kids, the house, none of it, -- and then you must find happiness being the best You you can be. He is only there for a paycheck, which is what he seems to want. Many of us live in unhappy marriages, with clueless husbands whose priorities are office work and career and their big brains can't fit in anything to do with with family.

Second, raise your kids with good life habits, and that it is not supposed to be this way. They must be able to live by themselves, not with paid help and that pampered absentee fathers is failing at life, not winning at life.

[Anonymous]

PS we have all daughters and I will never push them towards marriage. I want them to be happy, and marriage is not the answer to that. Many men are simply not cut out for marriage AND kids. Pick one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

gotcha. you are probably not very smart and that's fine. but my IQ is over 160 and sitting on my ass all day long just doesn't work for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

gotcha. you are probably not very smart and that's fine. but my IQ is over 160 and sitting on my ass all day long just doesn't work for me.

Lady, you seem clueless. Most truly rich people don’t need to work and don’t have regular jobs, especially the women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

gotcha. you are probably not very smart and that's fine. but my IQ is over 160 and sitting on my ass all day long just doesn't work for me.

Any adult who thinks their iq is relevant is completely clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

gotcha. you are probably not very smart and that's fine. but my IQ is over 160 and sitting on my ass all day long just doesn't work for me.

Shut up. You are not making your point and sound like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone saying a disrespectful father gets the kids 50% of the time? Is that a new thing? Many dads don’t even know what size clothes their kids wear, what they eat, who their teachers or friends are or anything. Do they just get divorced and then snap their fingers and grow up?
Sounds like a mess.

Yeah and it sounds like the OP's husband wouldn't want split custody given his apathy towards parenting his kids. Although he might go for it 50/50 just to screw with his soon to be ex's finances and then hire a nanny to actually parent the kids.

Is this 1960? What bizarre sexist comments. As a 41 year old father of two I'd say there is very little difference between moms and dads these days in regards to parenting. Actual parenting (clothes shopping, grocery buying, cooking, cleaning driving to sports, etc) and not just 'decision making' parenting is even amongst my peer set and I even know a handful of full time SAHDs. Maybe it's because in live in progressive Del Ray that I see this, I don't know but the idea of corporate dad coming home to a clean house, a full dinner and a horny wife as the norm is over.

For you sure.

For the Op's husband who wants to hire a full time nanny to work with his wife a SAhm because that would absolve him from any parenting responsibilities yes he's living in Mad man era of parenting. Reminds me of when Don Draper hired his secretary to be a nanny when he took his kids to Disneyland because he either couldn't or wouldn't change diapers