I want out of this marriage. I want to scream

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

There are many nonprofits that require volunteers to help keep costs down so that they can focus funding on their mission. You are a pretty drbse idiot if you can't figure that out.

I would argue the volunteer work anymore meaningful because it's something that you're doing on your own terms instead of being at the mercy of a boss and a paycheck

[Anonymous]

Most of us help run our family offices and take a salary plus bonus. I’m off to Africa soon for impact investing due diligence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us help run our family offices and take a salary plus bonus. I’m off to Africa soon for impact investing due diligence!

I think we already established most people need ti work because they need a salary to survive not op’s lot in life however. Taking a job that requires extended travel to Africa would in no way inprove her marriage but thabks for the completely irrelevent humble brag.

[Anonymous]

I enjoyed that posts in between pages of two puppets attempting to argue about the non profit sector

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us help run our family offices and take a salary plus bonus. I’m off to Africa soon for impact investing due diligence!

I think we already established most people need ti work because they need a salary to survive not op’s lot in life however. Taking a job that requires extended travel to Africa would in no way inprove her marriage but thabks for the completely irrelevent humble brag.

A humble brag? As someone whose been to 'Africa' (big place) about a dozen times, she's an idiot if he thinks it's enviable. Depending on location she'll be on a cocktail of prescriptions that not only have long lasting side effects but shes got about a 10% chance of contracting Hepatitis.

Whenever Africa or SE Asia travel pops up in our office everyone suddenly has some immovable conflict on the exact dates.

Now, Munich in October, Amsterdam in the spring, Seville in the Fall, that would be a humble brag.

[Anonymous]

Works bank here. Capital cities just fine we never take the ore-meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

gotcha. you are probably not very smart and that's fine. but my IQ is over 160 and sitting on my ass all day long just doesn't work for me.

Lady, you seem clueless. Most truly rich people don’t need to work and don’t have regular jobs, especially the women.

i don't care to be "truly rich whatever that level is. I can already afford everything I care to have. but I certainly intend to work until I am able to. my parents were he same, didn't have to work but did. that's what happened when you enjoy your work and are good at it, not that you would have any clue what that's like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful. If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby. He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time. She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career. And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work. I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.

Says someone who has never devoted significant time to either. With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.

What is your all important job?

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work. Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition.

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named. The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it

Works for me?

gotcha. you are probably not very smart and that's fine. but my IQ is over 160 and sitting on my ass all day long just doesn't work for me.

Any adult who thinks their iq is relevant is completely clueless.

actually it is relevant i.e. highly positively correlated. not a guarantee of anything but a vast majority of people who hate work have repetitive manual jobs or were not bright enough to excel in anything else. I have never ever met a smart housewife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Works bank here. Capital cities just fine we never take the ore-meds.

CDC here. We visit level 1 labs and still take fistfuls of pills.