Reply to I want out of this marriage. I want to scream

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really see how going back to work is going to be helpful.  If OP isn't contributing to the family income (and the reality is that she almost certainly can't contribute in any meaningful way), then her husband is just going to see her work as an annoying and time consuming hobby.  He will be pissed when he has a vacation, and she can't get off at the same time.  She will still be 100% responsible for the kids and household, so unless she wants her kids to grow up with two absent parents, she is likely to get a job that has some flexibility and reasonable hours and is more supporting other people's careers than developing her own (I work in academic medicine, so maybe this is different in other fields, but I doubt it).  
So, she will be working for no money, for reasons not respected or really understood by her family, in order to support someone else's career.  And she can add finding and managing full time childcare and household help to her duties in addition to her work.

I do agree with finding hobbies and meaningful volunteer work.  I am sure that you have skills that are useful to a lot of people.  [/quote]

the reason she would be working is because she wants to work. there is nothing to understand here; it's what most people do including her husband.

there is no such thing is meaningful volunteer work. if what you were doing had value people would pay you for it. hobbies are no better.[/quote]

Says someone who has never  devoted significant time to either.  With the resources op has, she could easily find meaningful volunteer opportunities.[/quote]

I would absolutely never volunteer for anything. it's worthless to others and would be demeaning to myself. If people want me they need to pay for me.[/quote]

What is your all important job?[/quote]

this is not about my job being important. it's much more important than any volunteering i could even do as reflected by the fact that I am paid for my job and would not be paid for volunteering. when people must have something done they pay for it. when it's optional then it's a "volunteering opportunity".[/quote]

Ok, you stick with your narrow corner of the world where you do nothing but work.  Others of us will waste our time on hobbies and volunteer work.

Don’t think you really understand how the world works for those who don’t need to work for income.[/quote]

umm... I don't need to work for income, actually. I could retire today if I wanted to (I am 44).

this has nothing to do with what people who look for volunteering and everything to do with those offering jobs/volunteering. when something is needed it gets paid. you can donate your salary or decline it. that's not volunteering. volunteering is worthless by definition. [/quote]

Haha, ok, you stick with paid work world with the job that is so valuable it can’t be named.  The sad truth is most people hate their “paid” jobs but need them to survive.

Leave it to others to burden themselves with free time, hobbies, and volunteering.
[/quote]

yes, I will stick with my job, thanks. I am not naming it because you are missing the point. The job of Starbucks barista is more valuable than volunteering st some charity board. the barista is actually useful, providing needed (i.e. paid) service to hundreds of people daily.

free time sounds like a great idea when you are very busy but in reality it gets old fast. Too much free time is soul-crushing and creates emptiness that people try to fill with hobbies, volunteering etc. but it doesn't quite work, does it ;)[/quote]

Works for me?[/quote]

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