NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Let me help you here. My DD attends NCS and no we're not rich, we pay full freight so I guess to some we're wealthy but lead a very low key life and do not drive fancy cars or live in
a large house. That said NCS is a great school and no my DD isn't an "A" student; she has received her share of Cs. The atmosphere is great even for non-athletic girls and there seems to be an unspoken thread of acceptance which runs through everything at NCS. I don't expect to send her to an Ivy and I really believe your high school experience is much more important that your college experience. If I had it to do over again I would choose NCS.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had known that for many NCS moms, their unhealthy intrusion into the lives of their daughters isn't really about being a helicopter parent - it's about trying to themselves relive the high school experience, i.e., their glory years.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going back to th original question - I wish I would have known my 5th grader was going to have a nervous breakdown and have to move schools in 6th to mitigate further psychological damage. It's not a place for everyone.....

I agree PP, it's not a place for everyone. I've seen some really wonderful girls leave during my dds' years at NCS.

b/c of acadmics or social pressures or something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going back to th original question - I wish I would have known my 5th grader was going to have a nervous breakdown and have to move schools in 6th to mitigate further psychological damage. It's not a place for everyone.....

I agree PP, it's not a place for everyone. I've seen some really wonderful girls leave during my dds' years at NCS.

b/c of acadmics or social pressures or something else?

The three that immediately come to mine left because they didn't fit in and couldn't stand any longer feeling like an outsider. I wouldn't describe it as social pressure, they just realized that they didn't fit in and somewhere else would likely provide them with a happier upper school experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

I have a 7th-grader at NCS, too. I don't ask DD about specific boys or even about boys in general. She does tell me about specific boys and, if she tallks about one boy a lot, I will guess she probably has a crush or a loathing. I don't want to be the nosy mom. Also, I don't want to be my mom, who would make judgments about the boys or try to *tell* me how I felt about a specific boy -- so annoying when she was wrong, and even more annoying (and embarrassing) when she was right. DD does know that I have one rule: if she is going out in a group or going to a friend's house, she must tell me in advance if there will be boys there. I need to know that, and I may nix her participation in the outing or get-together if I think it inapproporiate, e.g., in case of not enough chaperonage.

[Anonymous]

How would you describe the current middle school atmosphere?

[Anonymous]

Boy crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boy crazy

It's an all girls school. You mean like in the Justin Beiber sense? Or something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

My mom never grilled me about the boys I dated excpet to simply ask:

1) what is his last name ?
2) who are his parents ? ( in a small town this encompasses what their professions are and what neighborhood they live in, and if they have any weird family baggage, of course)
3) what do you like about him ?
and set the requirement that he come to the front door to pick me up and pass the "test" of meeting muster with my parents.

After the date : did I have a nice time and a general gatehring of my disposition, I guess. Parents waiting up, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

My mom never grilled me about the boys I dated excpet to simply ask:

1) what is his last name ?
2) who are his parents ? ( in a small town this encompasses what their professions are and what neighborhood they live in, and if they have any weird family baggage, of course)
3) what do you like about him ?
and set the requirement that he come to the front door to pick me up and pass the "test" of meeting muster with my parents.

After the date : did I have a nice time and a general gatehring of my disposition, I guess. Parents waiting up, of course.

I think 7th grade is too early for DD to be dating in a fashion where I am staying up for DD to come in the door. Not happening in this house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

My mom never grilled me about the boys I dated excpet to simply ask:

1) what is his last name ?
2) who are his parents ? ( in a small town this encompasses what their professions are and what neighborhood they live in, and if they have any weird family baggage, of course)
3) what do you like about him ?
and set the requirement that he come to the front door to pick me up and pass the "test" of meeting muster with my parents.

After the date : did I have a nice time and a general gatehring of my disposition, I guess. Parents waiting up, of course.

I think 7th grade is too early for DD to be dating in a fashion where I am staying up for DD to come in the door. Not happening in this house!

Then it's going to happen at the back door, so to speak. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

My mom never grilled me about the boys I dated excpet to simply ask:

1) what is his last name ?
2) who are his parents ? ( in a small town this encompasses what their professions are and what neighborhood they live in, and if they have any weird family baggage, of course)
3) what do you like about him ?
and set the requirement that he come to the front door to pick me up and pass the "test" of meeting muster with my parents.

After the date : did I have a nice time and a general gatehring of my disposition, I guess. Parents waiting up, of course.

I think 7th grade is too early for DD to be dating in a fashion where I am staying up for DD to come in the door. Not happening in this house!

Then it's going to happen at the back door, so to speak. Good luck with that.

Really? You let your 7th-grader go out alone with a date at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader at NCS. It looks like this is the year that she has discovered boys, and vice versa. I was driving my daughter and her friends home after a dance the other day, and they were talking about this boy or that boy, I think all at St. Albans. For moms at NCS, is it too intrusive for me to talk to her about which specific boys she is interested in or seeing? I don't want to be that nosy mom, but for obvious reasons I want to know what is going on with her "love life" if you can even call it that. What is your advice and experience?

My mom never grilled me about the boys I dated excpet to simply ask:

1) what is his last name ?
2) who are his parents ? ( in a small town this encompasses what their professions are and what neighborhood they live in, and if they have any weird family baggage, of course)
3) what do you like about him ?
and set the requirement that he come to the front door to pick me up and pass the "test" of meeting muster with my parents.

After the date : did I have a nice time and a general gatehring of my disposition, I guess. Parents waiting up, of course.

I think 7th grade is too early for DD to be dating in a fashion where I am staying up for DD to come in the door. Not happening in this house!

my mistake, I was referring to HS and 11th and 12th garde at that

[Anonymous]

DD is in the upper school. We recently drove by her public middle school where she was an "advanced" student. I casually asked her if she missed it and she replied in the affirmative. I asked why and she said, "because it was easy."