SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

I think the only relevant point is that when SAHMs are interviewing to reenter the workforce, they need to be careful about how they address their time at home, especially if they are interviewing with WOHMs that could potentially find the response offensive. What's wrong with saying "I was a stay at home mom." That's much more neutral than "I stayed home to raise my children (implying that if you didn't stay at home, you didn't raise them)?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocking, I just got back into the work force 2 years ago after 8 years being at home with the kids. It took me a whole 2 months to find work and I had two offers to choose from. I'm in IT sales to the feds and am pulling in 300k/yr-more than I ever imagined by hitting my sales goals each quarter.

I picked sales because I'm outgoing, confident, and not too hard on the eyes. I also primarily wanted to WFH so I could get the kids off the bus. I also was up front about my family in the interview process. The hiring manager (a man) has a SAHW and we related in the interview process around children.

Sorry to rain on your bitter party, but it was pretty wonderful to be home while my children were small and jump back to wiotk wtih a high salary upside, in a family friendly career.

Yikes. With federal spending cuts (mostly in IT), you'd better polish up your resume. I can guarantee you won't be making anywhere close to that amount next year.

Assuming this is real, which I really doubt (as my DH is in IT cybersecurity consulting to the feds...no effing way do even the best sales people make $300k in this market). And I don't buy for a second that a person who took off 8 years had the contacts necessary to immediately start making $300K. I'm guessing this person is either ridiculously lucky or just lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocking, I just got back into the work force 2 years ago after 8 years being at home with the kids. It took me a whole 2 months to find work and I had two offers to choose from. I'm in IT sales to the feds and am pulling in 300k/yr-more than I ever imagined by hitting my sales goals each quarter.

I picked sales because I'm outgoing, confident, and not too hard on the eyes. I also primarily wanted to WFH so I could get the kids off the bus. I also was up front about my family in the interview process. The hiring manager (a man) has a SAHW and we related in the interview process around children.

Sorry to rain on your bitter party, but it was pretty wonderful to be home while my children were small and jump back to wiotk wtih a high salary upside, in a family friendly career.

Yikes. With federal spending cuts (mostly in IT), you'd better polish up your resume. I can guarantee you won't be making anywhere close to that amount next year.

Assuming this is real, which I really doubt (as my DH is in IT cybersecurity consulting to the feds...no effing way do even the best sales people make $300k in this market). And I don't buy for a second that a person who took off 8 years had the contacts necessary to immediately start making $300K. I'm guessing this person is either ridiculously lucky or just lying.

Agree. Plus, she wanted to primarily work from home, yet chose sales bc she's 'easy on the eyes'?? Who is seeing you when you are at home? how is that helping sales? And agree that the IT fed spending cuts would greatly impact her career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the only relevant point is that when SAHMs are interviewing to reenter the workforce, they need to be careful about how they address their time at home, especially if they are interviewing with WOHMs that could potentially find the response offensive. What's wrong with saying "I was a stay at home mom." That's much more neutral than "I stayed home to raise my children (implying that if you didn't stay at home, you didn't raise them)?"

This! I'm not sure why people are reading so much into 'I stayed home to raise my children' though. I WOH and have kids and didn't pick up on the perceived slight. Regardless, I like your solution- "I was a stay at home mom." That, plus make sure you keep skills current.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocking, I just got back into the work force 2 years ago after 8 years being at home with the kids. It took me a whole 2 months to find work and I had two offers to choose from. I'm in IT sales to the feds and am pulling in 300k/yr-more than I ever imagined by hitting my sales goals each quarter.

I picked sales because I'm outgoing, confident, and not too hard on the eyes. I also primarily wanted to WFH so I could get the kids off the bus. I also was up front about my family in the interview process. The hiring manager (a man) has a SAHW and we related in the interview process around children.

Sorry to rain on your bitter party, but it was pretty wonderful to be home while my children were small and jump back to wiotk wtih a high salary upside, in a family friendly career.

Yikes. With federal spending cuts (mostly in IT), you'd better polish up your resume. I can guarantee you won't be making anywhere close to that amount next year.

Assuming this is real, which I really doubt (as my DH is in IT cybersecurity consulting to the feds...no effing way do even the best sales people make $300k in this market). And I don't buy for a second that a person who took off 8 years had the contacts necessary to immediately start making $300K. I'm guessing this person is either ridiculously lucky or just lying.

Agree. Plus, she wanted to primarily work from home, yet chose sales bc she's 'easy on the eyes'?? Who is seeing you when you are at home? how is that helping sales? And agree that the IT fed spending cuts would greatly impact her career.

I just jumped onto this thread and haven't read anything except the post directly above - but that woman's story doesn't sound outlandish to me. My DH does exactly what she does - IT sales to federal government - and he made about 260K last year. Also, even though she's working from home, I bet she meets clients regularly (so, the 'easy on the eyes' comment makes sense). That's what my DH does - does his callsm emails, paperwork, etc from home, but meets clients several times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only relevant point is that when SAHMs are interviewing to reenter the workforce, they need to be careful about how they address their time at home, especially if they are interviewing with WOHMs that could potentially find the response offensive. What's wrong with saying "I was a stay at home mom." That's much more neutral than "I stayed home to raise my children (implying that if you didn't stay at home, you didn't raise them)?"

This! I'm not sure why people are reading so much into 'I stayed home to raise my children' though. I WOH and have kids and didn't pick up on the perceived slight. Regardless, I like your solution- "I was a stay at home mom." That, plus make sure you keep skills current.

Agree. Now is there anyone offended by the use of "stay at home mom" ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I don't want to work with someone who thinks I didn't raise my children properly because I chose to work. I don't think those kinds of women deserve to work. I'd rather hire someone else.

I said it.

A least you're honest. All the others are trying to cloak their true feelings.

[Anonymous]

"I stayed home with my children."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I don't want to work with someone who thinks I didn't raise my children properly because I chose to work. I don't think those kinds of women deserve to work. I'd rather hire someone else.

I said it.

As a SAHM, when I interview to re-enter the workforce in a couple of years, am I going to be at an automatic disadvantage with WOH women because they think that I look down on them because they didn't stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then I'm going to use up precious interview time asking what the candidate means by "now under control." Live in help? Spouse quit to SAH? Hiring is a very expensive endeavor, I need judge whether the SN child might at some point no longer be "under control," to the best of my ability at that point in time.

I think in-house counsel might want to have a good chat with you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I stayed home with my children."

Depending on how this is said, I could see someone taking offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

Why is it different for purposes of hiring and employment?

Because the mother is dead. The kids that caused the mom to SAH are presumably still alive.

If you are suggesting that you'd not hire a woman specifically because she still has kids at home ... you should be aware that you may be violating the law. You can't discriminate based on your stereotypes about working mothers; that's gender discrimination. In fact, your hypothetical example (that you'd hire a woman who took time off to care for her dying mother, but not a woman who took time off to care for kids still at home) would be very good evidence against you in court.

http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/caregiving.html

You make a good point, but the fact is women cannot prove they are be discriminated against in this way. It's almost impossible. That's why it is best, when interviewing, not to give too much information. This thread is about how to conduct yourself in an interview, not about hiring practices. And if someone says they quit their job because they couldn't meet the demands of both parenthood and a career, not hiring them later has nothing to do with them being a parent and everything to with the fact that they might be lousy employees....since many people, apparently, can do just that.

I agree that it's best not to even open up the issue in the interview (if possible) because hiring discrimination is usually hard to prove. However, I used to be an employment lawyer, and I can tell you that it is actually not all that unusual for employers to say really dumb, openly discriminatory things. Especially when it comes to pregnancy/parenting stereotypes -- I think these are so ingrained in the culture that people just don't realize it's not ok to discriminate on the basis of your beliefs that mommies don't work as hard as daddies. You'd be surprised how easy it is to prove sometimes! And of course, the "good" cases settle and you never hear about them in the press.

[Anonymous]

This thread is a good reminder to all SAHMs, and everyone else, to keep up their contacts. One way to avoid the pitfalls of people making hasty judgments in interviews based on perceptions (or misperceptions) about your views or work ethic/capabilities is to have someone at the organization you're applying to who can vouch for you. I'm a SAHM and go for a meal/coffee/walk with a former colleague/classmate/client about once a week. I don't chat about kids, or husbands, or household issues. Instead, I use the time to find out what's going on with them and their projects, to discuss books, articles, etc., or (with a subset of these people) to talk politics. It's a good break for me from the mom group I hang out with with the kids, and I it's a nice way to stay on the radar. Over the past year and a half, I've been asked by three of the people I've been in touch with whether I'd like a job (two firm offers and one initial discussion).

I do agree with one point about volunteering, though. If you're going to invest significant time volunteering for your kids' school, be on the board if you can, not one of the people (inevitably moms) running the auction. I personally think the auction moms do a lot of good work, and I'm grateful for it. There does seem to be a stigma attached to it, though, and board members are taken much more seriously, especially at well-known schools.

[Anonymous]

So glad I'm rich and can SAH and not have to plan to ever work again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocking, I just got back into the work force 2 years ago after 8 years being at home with the kids. It took me a whole 2 months to find work and I had two offers to choose from. I'm in IT sales to the feds and am pulling in 300k/yr-more than I ever imagined by hitting my sales goals each quarter.

I picked sales because I'm outgoing, confident, and not too hard on the eyes. I also primarily wanted to WFH so I could get the kids off the bus. I also was up front about my family in the interview process. The hiring manager (a man) has a SAHW and we related in the interview process around children.

Sorry to rain on your bitter party, but it was pretty wonderful to be home while my children were small and jump back to wiotk wtih a high salary upside, in a family friendly career.

Yikes. With federal spending cuts (mostly in IT), you'd better polish up your resume. I can guarantee you won't be making anywhere close to that amount next year.

Assuming this is real, which I really doubt (as my DH is in IT cybersecurity consulting to the feds...no effing way do even the best sales people make $300k in this market). And I don't buy for a second that a person who took off 8 years had the contacts necessary to immediately start making $300K. I'm guessing this person is either ridiculously lucky or just lying.

Agree. Plus, she wanted to primarily work from home, yet chose sales bc she's 'easy on the eyes'?? Who is seeing you when you are at home? how is that helping sales? And agree that the IT fed spending cuts would greatly impact her career.

I just jumped onto this thread and haven't read anything except the post directly above - but that woman's story doesn't sound outlandish to me. My DH does exactly what she does - IT sales to federal government - and he made about 260K last year. Also, even though she's working from home, I bet she meets clients regularly (so, the 'easy on the eyes' comment makes sense). That's what my DH does - does his callsm emails, paperwork, etc from home, but meets clients several times a week.

Of COURSE it's true! And PP rides to meetings each day on a magical unicorn! And happy little bluebirds braid her hair while she takes sales calls! I can't believe you all are doubting her!