SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

Read her post. She didn't bring that up in the interview. She said it in her post to explain part of why she likes sales. She didn't say she was gorgeous. She said she's "easy on the eyes"- I don't find that one comment a reason to dismiss her entire point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who are jumping all over 15:58 are saying more about yourselves in your threads than about her. Why can't you just acknowledge that SAHM's can actually be competent professionals and can get themselves back in the workforce if they present themselves well? No, instead you're insinuating that she got her job because the hiring guy had the hots for her. That's real mature. Yet you turn around and ask for respect for choosing to WOH- and you deserve respect- but respect goes both ways.

No one ever said SAHM's can't be competent professionals and return to the workforce. This was a thread about SAHMs who in fact DON'T interview or present themselves well and how to avoid it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

Why is it different for purposes of hiring and employment?

Because the mother is dead. The kids that caused the mom to SAH are presumably still alive.

If you are suggesting that you'd not hire a woman specifically because she still has kids at home ... you should be aware that you may be violating the law. You can't discriminate based on your stereotypes about working mothers; that's gender discrimination. In fact, your hypothetical example (that you'd hire a woman who took time off to care for her dying mother, but not a woman who took time off to care for kids still at home) would be very good evidence against you in court.

http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/caregiving.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read her post. She didn't bring that up in the interview. She said it in her post to explain part of why she likes sales. She didn't say she was gorgeous. She said she's "easy on the eyes"- I don't find that one comment a reason to dismiss her entire point.

OK, no true professional, unless you're a model, refers to themselves as easy on the eyes at all.

[Anonymous]

So that's the way you're dismissing he experience- she's not a "true professional". Is the PP who bragged earlier that she makes $250,000 a year a true professional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

Why is it different for purposes of hiring and employment?

Because the mother is dead. The kids that caused the mom to SAH are presumably still alive.

If you are suggesting that you'd not hire a woman specifically because she still has kids at home ... you should be aware that you may be violating the law. You can't discriminate based on your stereotypes about working mothers; that's gender discrimination. In fact, your hypothetical example (that you'd hire a woman who took time off to care for her dying mother, but not a woman who took time off to care for kids still at home) would be very good evidence against you in court.

http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/caregiving.html

You make a good point, but the fact is women cannot prove they are be discriminated against in this way. It's almost impossible. That's why it is best, when interviewing, not to give too much information. This thread is about how to conduct yourself in an interview, not about hiring practices. And if someone says they quit their job because they couldn't meet the demands of both parenthood and a career, not hiring them later has nothing to do with them being a parent and everything to with the fact that they might be lousy employees....since many people, apparently, can do just that.

[Anonymous]

Oh come on now PP. Can't meet the demands of parenting and a career? You know that's not why the majority of women who SAH do it. And most do it temporarily. Come on now.

[Anonymous]

Of course WOHP's raise their kids. And I can see why they are touchy about the whole, "stayed home to raise my kids bit." But as a SAHM this thread has been instructive. You do have to tread carefully and watch what you say, because some people will IMPLY judgement of their choices when they hear about the different choices you made. There are moms in particular around her with some baggage surrounding this issue, and some of them are WOHMs. Hope you aren't interviewed by one of those. There are also ALOT of negative stereotypes about SAHM's being thrown around in this thread.

So if you are a SAHM:

1. Keep skills current, possibly through volunteering, but only mention that if it sounds serious enough. Definitely don't mention something called a gala unless you are applying for a job throwing galas.

2. Be as matter of fact and brief as possible about any details of your personal life.

3. Don't, for god's sake, say you, "stayed at home to raise your kids."

4. Hope you're being interviewed by someone who doesn't have as many negative emotions about this topic as many of the women here, because if you are, you've got a big deficit to overcome with that person. They are starting out not wanting to like you. It is what it is. Gotta find a way around it, by being awesome if you can.

5. Go home at the end of the day, whatever happens, and thank god you got to make the choices you wanted to (not implying the WOHM's didn't get to make the choices they wanted to...so relax on that one) and got to spend the time with your kid you wanted to (again, not implying the WOHM didn't get to spend the time with their kid they wanted to, just hope the SAHM did). You'll find a job. It may take longer and pay less than you'd like, but you'll find something.

6. Hope for some resolution to this impossible struggle (WOHM vs. SAHM) when our kids are our age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on now PP. Can't meet the demands of parenting and a career? You know that's not why the majority of women who SAH do it. And most do it temporarily. Come on now.

Seriously, do you keep missing the point on purpose? We're talking about those few idiots who say as much in their interviews with statements like those iterated on the very first page of this thread. Statements that imply that it is either impossible or unacceptable to work while raising young children.

This is getting old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on now PP. Can't meet the demands of parenting and a career? You know that's not why the majority of women who SAH do it. And most do it temporarily. Come on now.

Seriously, do you keep missing the point on purpose? We're talking about those few idiots who say as much in their interviews with statements like those iterated on the very first page of this thread. Statements that imply that it is either impossible or unacceptable to work while raising young children.

This is getting old.

understatement of the year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh come on now PP. Can't meet the demands of parenting and a career? You know that's not why the majority of women who SAH do it. And most do it temporarily. Come on now.

Seriously, do you keep missing the point on purpose? We're talking about those few idiots who say as much in their interviews with statements like those iterated on the very first page of this thread. Statements that imply that it is either impossible or unacceptable to work while raising young children.

This is getting old.

I admit I misread her thread. I read it as "if someone, say, quits their job because they can't handle the demands..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocking, I just got back into the work force 2 years ago after 8 years being at home with the kids. It took me a whole 2 months to find work and I had two offers to choose from. I'm in IT sales to the feds and am pulling in 300k/yr-more than I ever imagined by hitting my sales goals each quarter.

I picked sales because I'm outgoing, confident, and not too hard on the eyes. I also primarily wanted to WFH so I could get the kids off the bus. I also was up front about my family in the interview process. The hiring manager (a man) has a SAHW and we related in the interview process around children.

Sorry to rain on your bitter party, but it was pretty wonderful to be home while my children were small and jump back to wiotk wtih a high salary upside, in a family friendly career.

Very, very few people in this country make equal to or near $300K. So you are representative of a very small pool of people. Very few people are finding work that salary in two months. So you are in smaller pool. And it's probably safe to say that even fewer are doing so after being out of work for more than a few years.

Point is, you are the exception. It's great that it turned out well for you, but I don't expect that many other people are in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

[phone] (and I'm a FT WOHM who is glad that she does NOT work for one of the embittered hags who posted before you, but a very supportive female supervisor who is actually single and childless - boy am I lucky!!!)

[Anonymous]

Hiring manager here. My only concern with anyone who was out of the workforce for 10 years would be lack of knowledge of the technology required to do the job. Technology has completely changed the way many tasks are accomplished today vs the early 2000s.