American Women Are Giving Up on Marriage (Wall Street Journal)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage, by definition, is a bad deal for an educated, independent women. I'm in my 40s and happily married, but if I were to be single again, I wouldn't date simply because 99.9% of the men are inferior to me. I have a girl in my team who is in her late 20s, beautiful, educated, makes in the mid 200k, and owns her own place. She tells me that most of the guys her age are broke and fat.

Marriage is very hard to work within the context of two high-achieving partners. Much better for there to be some sort of release valve built into the relationship. The release valve could be as simple as both partners working chill, 40-hour jobs or pen staying home.

Then throw in the “cross cutting” issue. The men that the woman on your team would find attractive may not find her attractive (or, more accurately, those men she finds attractive may find they want her to SAHM later in the relationship which will be high destabilizing).

Men absolutely need to be better, but female standards could also be revisited. If everyone is chasing 6 foot tall surgeons that look like movie stars and are 50/50 equal Partners at home, well, the math just doesn’t work.

This is a stereotype perpetuated by men. Men who blame women for not liking them. Instead of working on their personality or how they treat people, they blame women for not liking them bc they aren’t 6/6/6. It’s more red pill bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage for a highly paid woman is like signing up for a servitude contract without any guarantees of payback. She enters it while still young and desirable for her fertility. When she's over 40, husband can just dump her and divide everything. Men are only valuing women for their looks, fertility and sexuality. Why enter a union where you are only needed for the qualities that last just as much, only to get disposed with HUGE collateral damage to you and your children in 10-20 years?

Marriage is only attractive to women without a good earning capacity.

Good point. Unless one strives to be a tradwife (fine if you want that), it’s not a good deal for women. Why cook for 2 when you could for 1? Why clean for 2 when it’s likely cleaner without a man and easier to clean? Many women can get easy casual sex if they want, but many would rather grab the rabbit. Unless you literally cannot provide for yourself (tradwife), it’s easier to go at it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial and generation X women were brainwashed by mass media and corporate propaganda into birth control, aborting their would-be first born child, hookup culture, and racking up student debt on dubious master's degrees. This is the fruits of that propaganda coming home to roost: Childless and unmarried girl bosses.

Nothing wrong with being a "childless and unmarried girl boss" - it's certainly better than working full time plus bearing the brunt of the housework, child care, and care for aging relatives, including in-laws acquired via marriage.

No, it's really not. Getting cancer with no help and/or dying alone is no treat.

Men are 7 or 8x more likely to leave their sick wife. You could do all this “right” and still get cancer with no help and die alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial and generation X women were brainwashed by mass media and corporate propaganda into birth control, aborting their would-be first born child, hookup culture, and racking up student debt on dubious master's degrees. This is the fruits of that propaganda coming home to roost: Childless and unmarried girl bosses.

Nothing wrong with being a "childless and unmarried girl boss" - it's certainly better than working full time plus bearing the brunt of the housework, child care, and care for aging relatives, including in-laws acquired via marriage.

No, it's really not. Getting cancer with no help and/or dying alone is no treat.

Men are 7 or 8x more likely to leave their sick wife. You could do all this “right” and still get cancer with no help and die alone.

But women are not the ones dying alone. They tend to have strong social networks and female friendships, much more than men.

It is a huge risk as men get older to get divorced. They don’t have a social network and they are much more likely to die earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial and generation X women were brainwashed by mass media and corporate propaganda into birth control, aborting their would-be first born child, hookup culture, and racking up student debt on dubious master's degrees. This is the fruits of that propaganda coming home to roost: Childless and unmarried girl bosses.

Nothing wrong with being a "childless and unmarried girl boss" - it's certainly better than working full time plus bearing the brunt of the housework, child care, and care for aging relatives, including in-laws acquired via marriage.

No, it's really not. Getting cancer with no help and/or dying alone is no treat.

Except most marriages end in divorce when the wife gets sick

No they don't. Even the study that said there was an elevated risk of divorce when a wife got sick was retracted.

https://retractionwatch.com/2015/07/21/to-our-horror-widely-reported-study-suggesting-divorce-is-more-likely-when-wives-fall-ill-gets-axed/

This is from 2015 that retracted one single study, there have been more since. This one published last month for ex.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.13077

“Conclusion: men struggle more than women with a partners declining health, potentially jeopardizing the couples stability.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial and generation X women were brainwashed by mass media and corporate propaganda into birth control, aborting their would-be first born child, hookup culture, and racking up student debt on dubious master's degrees. This is the fruits of that propaganda coming home to roost: Childless and unmarried girl bosses.

Nothing wrong with being a "childless and unmarried girl boss" - it's certainly better than working full time plus bearing the brunt of the housework, child care, and care for aging relatives, including in-laws acquired via marriage.

No, it's really not. Getting cancer with no help and/or dying alone is no treat.

Men are 7 or 8x more likely to leave their sick wife. You could do all this “right” and still get cancer with no help and die alone.

But women are not the ones dying alone. They tend to have strong social networks and female friendships, much more than men.

It is a huge risk as men get older to get divorced. They don’t have a social network and they are much more likely to die earlier.

Absolutely! But it is shown that men will leave their wives more often than the reverse if they get sick. So pps point is just blatantly oblivious that millions of married women do get sick and their husbands leave them. It’s really worst case scenario - the person you love and trust the most abandons you at your most vulnerable. I’d almost think that worse than just getting sick on your own :/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial and generation X women were brainwashed by mass media and corporate propaganda into birth control, aborting their would-be first born child, hookup culture, and racking up student debt on dubious master's degrees. This is the fruits of that propaganda coming home to roost: Childless and unmarried girl bosses.

Nothing wrong with being a "childless and unmarried girl boss" - it's certainly better than working full time plus bearing the brunt of the housework, child care, and care for aging relatives, including in-laws acquired via marriage.

No, it's really not. Getting cancer with no help and/or dying alone is no treat.

Men are 7 or 8x more likely to leave their sick wife. You could do all this “right” and still get cancer with no help and die alone.

But women are not the ones dying alone. They tend to have strong social networks and female friendships, much more than men.

It is a huge risk as men get older to get divorced. They don’t have a social network and they are much more likely to die earlier.

So again, what's in this for women? So far marriage seems like a raw deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial and generation X women were brainwashed by mass media and corporate propaganda into birth control, aborting their would-be first born child, hookup culture, and racking up student debt on dubious master's degrees. This is the fruits of that propaganda coming home to roost: Childless and unmarried girl bosses.

Nothing wrong with being a "childless and unmarried girl boss" - it's certainly better than working full time plus bearing the brunt of the housework, child care, and care for aging relatives, including in-laws acquired via marriage.

Preach. LOL at thinking “childless and unmarried girl boss” is some kind of insult. I can think of many worse fates.

I prefer ball breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage, by definition, is a bad deal for an educated, independent women. I'm in my 40s and happily married, but if I were to be single again, I wouldn't date simply because 99.9% of the men are inferior to me. I have a girl in my team who is in her late 20s, beautiful, educated, makes in the mid 200k, and owns her own place. She tells me that most of the guys her age are broke and fat.

Same can be said for women. I’m a guy who made in the mid 300’s by age 30 and nearly every single 20 something chick on the apps is below 100k. The difference is most of us guys don’t really care if a woman makes less.

Date your age. Plenty of director level 30s women at my company, making over 200k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage, by definition, is a bad deal for an educated, independent women. I'm in my 40s and happily married, but if I were to be single again, I wouldn't date simply because 99.9% of the men are inferior to me. I have a girl in my team who is in her late 20s, beautiful, educated, makes in the mid 200k, and owns her own place. She tells me that most of the guys her age are broke and fat.

Same can be said for women. I’m a guy who made in the mid 300’s by age 30 and nearly every single 20 something chick on the apps is below 100k. The difference is most of us guys don’t really care if a woman makes less.

Women invest more (own health, bodies, time) in children and housekeeping. If she's making100K, and gives your kids, takes on major household responsibilities the "hidden" implied cost of her investment in household is over 200K. It was calculated that on average wives bring about 150K in household labor to the family.

So it's YOU who are the problem and have unreasonable expectations, not these 20s women. You expect her to give you kids, make the same money as you while she's 10 years younger in her career, give you children, take care of household, be your secretary, vacation planner, elderly relatives caregiver and so on... Would you have done it for anyone in your 20s???

Men are delusional!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage, by definition, is a bad deal for an educated, independent women. I'm in my 40s and happily married, but if I were to be single again, I wouldn't date simply because 99.9% of the men are inferior to me. I have a girl in my team who is in her late 20s, beautiful, educated, makes in the mid 200k, and owns her own place. She tells me that most of the guys her age are broke and fat.

In your 20s it’s not wealth that’s important but trajectory. I met my husband at 21. We were both broke but I could see he was going places.

This is the way. You have to bank on potential. If you wait until it’s realized it’s too late.

Most men and women dump their partners once their potential is realized. So many support their partners with higher education, training and early career jobs, only to be ditched later. Loyalty isn't a common trait in this society.

Among physicians its a known strategy to divorce first husband or wife before becoming attending physician so they don't have to pay anything in divorce court.

Only if they dumped just their partners! Men dump and forget even their own children. Plenty of examples in my circle when an exH dropped wife who worked, supported him, for shiny new thing. These men refuse to continue paying for private schools, colleges, fight over each cent of CS. As if these are not their kids.
A friend of mine is getting divorced: her exH already made his AP pregnant and is paying $12K/month for rent for their new posh house. But he refuses to continue paying 10K/year for an employer-subsidized private school for kids from first marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage, by definition, is a bad deal for an educated, independent women. I'm in my 40s and happily married, but if I were to be single again, I wouldn't date simply because 99.9% of the men are inferior to me. I have a girl in my team who is in her late 20s, beautiful, educated, makes in the mid 200k, and owns her own place. She tells me that most of the guys her age are broke and fat.

Same can be said for women. I’m a guy who made in the mid 300’s by age 30 and nearly every single 20 something chick on the apps is below 100k. The difference is most of us guys don’t really care if a woman makes less.

That’s because you know she will provide you with many $1000000s in unpaid domestic labor.

LOL. I always love these valuations of "unpaid labor". The numbers keep going up and up and up. Pretty soon only Elon Musk will be able to afford this "unpaid labor".

Exactly: childcare, cost of time off from work is incredibly high in the US. Women get into permanent career stalemate with chidlbirth. Thus only Elon will be soon able to continue to reproduce

[Anonymous]

Well, costs of all services from childcare to cooked meals and tuition to house cleaning and what not have gone up so have value of a SAHP.

[Anonymous]

Also count cost of surrogates if women weren't doing it for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, costs of all services from childcare to cooked meals and tuition to house cleaning and what not have gone up so have value of a SAHP.

I've seen a study somewhere that on average a married woman gives up about $2mm in own retirement savings due to career stalemate. E.g. much, much more than ANY child support or alimony would cover.