Wife dies and husband adopts their 1 year old out to the aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Sure, OP. Go back to your anti-choice protest.

Not OP. I have no idea why you’re conflating being anti-choice with being anti-abandoning your child after your wife dies. This couple made THE CHOICE to bring a child into the world. He should step up and care for his child. Honestly, people will forgive men such bad behavior.

That's *exactly* the argument the anti-choice people try to make. Exactly.

No, the anti-choice people don’t want you to have a choice. I’m saying, you affirmatively made a choice to bring this child into the world, it exists, and now you need to be responsible for that choice. Very different from making a choice before a child exists.

And they would say that you made that choice when you conceived the child, so you should be responsible for it. Apparently whether you're going to be a good parent or not.

Just like you're saying.

Just because they're using the same argument at a different point in time doesn't mean I agree with them or they with me. Yes, after you have a child, you've made your decision. The child is here. At this point it's no longer solely about you. Is your argument that one must never take accountability for a decision to bring a child into the world? Can one always cast off the child, at any age, any time, for any reason?

If so, PIECE OF SHIT.

Well said. That seems to be the general consensus. Yep POS to be sure!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

I guess you're not so smart after all lol. He's no different than those men who abandon their families to chase the next woman minus the burden of having a child. You should have read the thread more closely. He had plenty of help from his own family, and her family without getting rid of the child altogether. The daughter stopped talking to him years ago because of all the resentment. It wasn't a simple family adoption. You clearly are NOT intelligent, I hope you are not a social worker.

This angry poster obviously is not a social worker, nor does she work in the field of fmaily law / adoption law/ children's rights.

I am sorry your husband left you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

Exactly. Not relatable to this scenario.

You keep posting the same thing.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of angry ex-wives here who feel their ex-husbands are not contributing enough to the raising of their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of angry ex-wives here who feel their ex-husbands are not contributing enough to the raising of their children.

Or some angry parents who ran out on their kids. Or neglect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

I guess you're not so smart after all lol. He's no different than those men who abandon their families to chase the next woman minus the burden of having a child. You should have read the thread more closely. He had plenty of help from his own family, and her family without getting rid of the child altogether. The daughter stopped talking to him years ago because of all the resentment. It wasn't a simple family adoption. You clearly are NOT intelligent, I hope you are not a social worker.

This angry poster obviously is not a social worker, nor does she work in the field of fmaily law / adoption law/ children's rights.

I am sorry your husband left you.

I saw that as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

Exactly. Not relatable to this scenario.

You keep posting the same thing.

This is an anonymous board, you don’t know who is posting what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

So he should have kept the child to about judgment from old white ladies instead of finding a better home for her? That doesn't help anyone.

No, he did what is right for the child but he is still a piece of shit. His child won’t talk to him because he abandoned her.

It certainly doesn't sound like you're close friends with him, so it's safe to say you don't know the full story there. You're just doubling down after so many posters have told you that you're a horrible person.

I'm not the OP, you moron. There are probably half a dozen people at least weighing in here.

Then you really don't know what you're talking about. Go back to your cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

So he should have kept the child to about judgment from old white ladies instead of finding a better home for her? That doesn't help anyone.

No, he did what is right for the child but he is still a piece of shit. His child won’t talk to him because he abandoned her.

It certainly doesn't sound like you're close friends with him, so it's safe to say you don't know the full story there. You're just doubling down after so many posters have told you that you're a horrible person.

I'm not the OP, you moron. There are probably half a dozen people at least weighing in here.

PP is angry for some reason. He could have raised his daughter, got help from the Aunt, and other family. He chose to write off the daughter and move across the country which is deeply disturbing. That would have been the "right" thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

So he should have kept the child to about judgment from old white ladies instead of finding a better home for her? That doesn't help anyone.

No, he did what is right for the child but he is still a piece of shit. His child won’t talk to him because he abandoned her.

It certainly doesn't sound like you're close friends with him, so it's safe to say you don't know the full story there. You're just doubling down after so many posters have told you that you're a horrible person.

I'm not the OP, you moron. There are probably half a dozen people at least weighing in here.

Then you really don't know what you're talking about. Go back to your cats.

I have a dog (singular). You just always get it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

[Anonymous]

Aunt wouldn't be her parent if her parents didnt die/abandon her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

So he should have kept the child to about judgment from old white ladies instead of finding a better home for her? That doesn't help anyone.

No, he did what is right for the child but he is still a piece of shit. His child won’t talk to him because he abandoned her.

It certainly doesn't sound like you're close friends with him, so it's safe to say you don't know the full story there. You're just doubling down after so many posters have told you that you're a horrible person.

I'm not the OP, you moron. There are probably half a dozen people at least weighing in here.

Then you really don't know what you're talking about. Go back to your cats.

I have a dog (singular). You just always get it wrong.

And no claim of a partner/family. Shocker...