Wife dies and husband adopts their 1 year old out to the aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

That's not the way adoption works. As described by the Op, the child was never abandoned without a parent.

You're desperately trying to avoid backtracking since you've seen how unpopular it is to suggest adoptive parents don't count as parents. But they do. And as such, the child always had a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

That's not the way adoption works. As described by the Op, the child was never abandoned without a parent.

You're desperately trying to avoid backtracking since you've seen how unpopular it is to suggest adoptive parents don't count as parents. But they do. And as such, the child always had a parent.

No one is saying adopted parents aren't parents. You are desperately trying to invent something that never happened. This child was abandoned with no parent. I'm glad that someone else stepped in to become her parent and raise her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

Again, this is a common circumstance, and indeed it (*family*) is the most common form of adoption. What world -- or neighborhood-- do people live in that they can't acknowledge this even when there are professionals on this thread who are telling you this? (Including me -- I am a paralegal working in family law the past 17 years.) Dad does not want to -- or can't -- raise the child, so he places the child for legal adoption with a loving family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

That's not the way adoption works. As described by the Op, the child was never abandoned without a parent.

You're desperately trying to avoid backtracking since you've seen how unpopular it is to suggest adoptive parents don't count as parents. But they do. And as such, the child always had a parent.

No one is saying adopted parents aren't parents. You are desperately trying to invent something that never happened. This child was abandoned with no parent. I'm glad that someone else stepped in to become her parent and raise her.

If adoptive parents are parents, then the child always had a parent, and thus was never abandoned without one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

That's not the way adoption works. As described by the Op, the child was never abandoned without a parent.

You're desperately trying to avoid backtracking since you've seen how unpopular it is to suggest adoptive parents don't count as parents. But they do. And as such, the child always had a parent.

No one is saying adopted parents aren't parents. You are desperately trying to invent something that never happened. This child was abandoned with no parent. I'm glad that someone else stepped in to become her parent and raise her.

If adoptive parents are parents, then the child always had a parent, and thus was never abandoned without one.

The adoptive parent wasn't her parent when she was abandoned by her father, after her mother died. Thus leaving her without a parent for that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

I think you missed the point. He’s a piece of shit because he didn’t want his child.

So he should have kept the child to about judgment from old white ladies instead of finding a better home for her? That doesn't help anyone.

No, he did what is right for the child but he is still a piece of shit. His child won’t talk to him because he abandoned her.

It certainly doesn't sound like you're close friends with him, so it's safe to say you don't know the full story there. You're just doubling down after so many posters have told you that you're a horrible person.

I'm not the OP, you moron. There are probably half a dozen people at least weighing in here.

Then you really don't know what you're talking about. Go back to your cats.

I have a dog (singular). You just always get it wrong.

And no claim of a partner/family. Shocker...

Married 16 years, together for 21. No kids, because I chose (before having kids) not to have kids. I wasn’t like “lemme see how this goes and if I don’t like being a parent, I’ll return it to the store.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

That's not the way adoption works. As described by the Op, the child was never abandoned without a parent.

You're desperately trying to avoid backtracking since you've seen how unpopular it is to suggest adoptive parents don't count as parents. But they do. And as such, the child always had a parent.

No one is saying adopted parents aren't parents. You are desperately trying to invent something that never happened. This child was abandoned with no parent. I'm glad that someone else stepped in to become her parent and raise her.

If adoptive parents are parents, then the child always had a parent, and thus was never abandoned without one.

Your refusal to see basic logic is baffling. I'm assuming you're an adoptive parent and are somehow taking offence at this statement, but it's not about you. Honestly the rabid dog with a bone mentality just makes you look petty and childish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

Again, this is a common circumstance, and indeed it (*family*) is the most common form of adoption. What world -- or neighborhood-- do people live in that they can't acknowledge this even when there are professionals on this thread who are telling you this? (Including me -- I am a paralegal working in family law the past 17 years.) Dad does not want to -- or can't -- raise the child, so he places the child for legal adoption with a loving family member.

Piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

Again, this is a common circumstance, and indeed it (*family*) is the most common form of adoption. What world -- or neighborhood-- do people live in that they can't acknowledge this even when there are professionals on this thread who are telling you this? (Including me -- I am a paralegal working in family law the past 17 years.) Dad does not want to -- or can't -- raise the child, so he places the child for legal adoption with a loving family member.

Piece of shit.

I bet that's what your ex says about you, but there are two sides to everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

Again, this is a common circumstance, and indeed it (*family*) is the most common form of adoption. What world -- or neighborhood-- do people live in that they can't acknowledge this even when there are professionals on this thread who are telling you this? (Including me -- I am a paralegal working in family law the past 17 years.) Dad does not want to -- or can't -- raise the child, so he places the child for legal adoption with a loving family member.

Piece of shit.

I bet that's what your ex says about you, but there are two sides to everything.

If you have to resort to personal insults on a thread about a random person, you really have nothing to add here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Because there are weird people like some of the posters in this thread telling them that adoptive parents aren't real parents.

Literally no one is saying that. You are being willfully obtuse. Two things can be true. This child was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her and became her parent.

You can't claim the child was "abandoned with no parent" without saying the adoptive parent isn't a parent. How do you not see that?

But you can. Two things can be true. Auntie stepped in to become a parent. After her mother died and her father abandoned her.

At what point was the child without a parent?

After her mother died and her father abandoned her. Not sure how much more simple to make this for you.

When you claim her father "abandoned" her, she had an adoptive mother. There was no point she was abandoned without a parent.

She was abandoned with no parent, and someone else stepped in to raise her. Aunt wouldn’t be her parent if she hadn’t been left without one. You clearly understand and acknowledge this and are arguing semantics.

That's not the way adoption works. As described by the Op, the child was never abandoned without a parent.

You're desperately trying to avoid backtracking since you've seen how unpopular it is to suggest adoptive parents don't count as parents. But they do. And as such, the child always had a parent.

No one is saying adopted parents aren't parents. You are desperately trying to invent something that never happened. This child was abandoned with no parent. I'm glad that someone else stepped in to become her parent and raise her.

If adoptive parents are parents, then the child always had a parent, and thus was never abandoned without one.

Your refusal to see basic logic is baffling. I'm assuming you're an adoptive parent and are somehow taking offence at this statement, but it's not about you. Honestly the rabid dog with a bone mentality just makes you look petty and childish.

Again, if you're so convinced the child was "abandoned without a parent" then you should be able to identify a point in time where the child did not have a parent. So if you'd like to continue digging, when was that?