Wife dies and husband adopts their 1 year old out to the aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

I should add - all of these men are currently raising children too, but with their current wives. The wives also support their decision to not have a relationship with their other children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

Don’t you think there’s generally a problem with men feeling entitled to get what they want?

How about as parents we teach boys they absolutely can’t have everything they want?

How about the next time you tell your son “no”, that means no. No debate, no repeating, no explaining.

When a woman says no, that means no.

[Anonymous]

This kind of thing probably happened all the time in the old days, when men were not seen as caregivers.

[Anonymous]

I could be friends with someone like this, but never in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

I should add - all of these men are currently raising children too, but with their current wives. The wives also support their decision to not have a relationship with their other children.

That’s a large percentage of garbage people.

[Anonymous]

I had a situation like this in my family except it was much worse and the one thing it’s taught me is not to judge people. So maybe myob and be thankful this isn’t you or your brother or your dad or your husband or son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing probably happened all the time in the old days, when men were not seen as caregivers.

+1 There’s a recent thread in Off Topic about orphanages, with multiple stories about living fathers who put their kids in orphanages or gave them to relatives when the mothers died. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1236090.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

I should add - all of these men are currently raising children too, but with their current wives. The wives also support their decision to not have a relationship with their other children.

And yeah this happens in DCUM-land/UMC circles, too. You see a loving husband and dad with a happy family and an expensive house and have no idea from the surface (unless you know the family well) he has another child he abandoned. I knew of several families like this growing up in a nice neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

I should add - all of these men are currently raising children too, but with their current wives. The wives also support their decision to not have a relationship with their other children.

Support? You mean cause.

[Anonymous]

I’m not shocked, it’s par for the course with some men. It’s great he recognized this and found a mom to raise her.

[Anonymous]

Imagine if a woman put her child up for adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Known a friend for about a year, It somehow came up when he was in his late twenties his wife died in a car accident. He adopted the daughter out to the wife's sister so she would have a mother. I was simply shocked. I asked didn't he think she needed a dad? Or didn't he foresee him meeting someone at some point? Today the daughter is grown, he doesn't have a relationship with her. I also found out he's been divorced twice. I believe he didn't want to be saddled with a child so he could screw around. He also mentioned he had a vasectomy years ago...
Am I being too judgmental, or is this guy just awful?

You are awful. Come back and talk when your wife is dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

+1 my uncle is one of completely walked away from one family (2 kids under 5) to start another. Ironically also in the military.

[Anonymous]

Similar thing happened in my family only the mother gave up the child. She is not a great person but recognized that she didn’t want to raise a child and gave the baby to family members who did and loved her. I cant imagine the censure she faced but it was the best thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you probably know lots of men like Jim and have no idea. My husband is active duty and I'd say about 25% of the men we know have abandoned children. By abandoned I mean they've made the conscious decision to have no relationship whatsoever to a child or children from a previous relationship. Not a money or time thing.

I should add - all of these men are currently raising children too, but with their current wives. The wives also support their decision to not have a relationship with their other children.

That’s a large percentage of garbage people.

More take care of their kids. Divorce isn't an excuse either. I've never met anyone that actually adopted/rejected their own kid after a year.