Divorced women in their 40s seem to be doing better in the dating market

[Anonymous]

I'm 48 (divorced dad) and had a first date tonight with a stunningly beautiful divorced woman who is 41. (Everyone on the internet claims they look younger, but she could pass for 35 and has a great figure).

We got to talking about online dating and she said that based on past dating experience, she was really surprised by how poor a selection of men she had pursuing her when her settings were ages 35-41.

Once she changed her settings to 40-50, she said she received plenty of interest from handsome, successful and fun men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ultimately, it's a supply and demand issue. And the lack of quality men of all ages is warping the market. It's not just men in their 40s and 50s. It's that a lot of young men are checked out from life - professionally, socially, fitness-wise. So that men who do have it together, whether they are 25 or 45, have an incredibly easy time finding dates and partners of all ages. Observationally, watching my single friends, it's the good looking men with great jobs that have a disproportionate amount of power in modern relationship dynamics. For every man who has it together, there are 20 wonderful, beautiful, smart, and kind women who really want to meet him. It's far easier for men these days. The competition for the good ones is fierce. I see it extending down all the way to the college level.

You are falsely assuming that young women who are looking for marriage and children value the same men that older divorced women who already have children do. It's not the same market. There is some overlap, but it's not entirely the same.

I know a late 40s acquaintance who is sleeping with a 20 something year old gym instructor. Were she younger and looking for marriage and children, she wouldn't go anywhere near him.

But she is looking for a good time with someone easy on the eyes. It works for both of them.

That's true. I have a 48 year old very attractive friend who does this. When she's in the mood, she just shows up at the pickle ball court or the college bar and goes home with whoever catches her eye. Women who want one night stands will always have an easier time of it. She certainly doesn't care about their professional prospects. She'd never date them, but that's not what she's looking for.

Does she actually have sex? Its rare for menopausal women to want to do

Maybe rare, but not impossible. I’m 46 and my libido has skyrocketing in the last 2-3 years. I am enjoying sex more now than I did in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced women in their 40s seem to be doing better in the dating market. Why are they having more success compared to divorced men the same age. They have the same challenges to deal with kids, child support, life stressors, body image, aging insecurity to name a few. However it seems that many divorced men in their 40s are really struggling to find dates.

It's because women have vaginas. That's it. Nothing more.

Vaginas will always be a hotter commodity than penises are.

And thank God when desperate we can rent one and enjoy. And with more and more women going into sex work it's even easier to get laid.

Good for you!

However...divorced women in their 40s are doing better than their male counterparts in the dating scene. I bet they don't have to pay for sex to get laid!

Of course they are doing better because they are less likely to come across men of all ages who want to marry. Divorced men in their 40s if they choose to date women in their 30s they have to take into account that this age group has a high number of never married and/or women who want to have children. Divorced women in their 40s are desirable of course, but they are also far less likely to have the same pressure with men in their 30s wanting to marry them. Whether you think it's fair or not most men in their 30s who want to have children are not going to look for women in their 40s.

Women in their 40s are not looking to settle down with these younger men. It’s about sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:40s. widowed for 15+yrs. never remarried. single dad of two teens/almost adults.

I've been OLDing for 13+yrs with no intent to remarry (always upfront about that) as being a single dad to couple of toddlers was my biggest priority for over a decade.

When I was in my mid-late 30s I dated 20s-30s.

Now approaching 50 I still date the same age range.

I've tried to and honestly had scores (maybe hundreds) of first dates with 40+ women but 99% are just unattractive. even if they have work done and keep a gym rat toned body. they will never compare to 20s to early 30s.

I think a women's beauty and sexual worth falls off a HUGE cliff by mid-late 30s and no amount of botox can fix it.

someone pointed out JLO and Shakira but even those top 0.01% hot 40+ women can't keep their men interested.

So you’ve just been online dating for a decade and and a half while raising kids and you’ve not had a relationship?

You may find as you approach 50 your options change. I don’t believe you are regularly dating women in their 20s anymore but it’s an anonymous forum so you can be whoever you want I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50s man here. I totally disagree with the men who say women in their 40s aren't hot. Many are. I think this now. I thought this twenty years ago.

Unfortunately, women in their 50s tend to look a little dried out and masculine to me, especially white women. So most of what the harsh men said here about women in their 40s seems kinda true to me for women in their 50s. Sometimes the same woman can look MUCH different as she goes from age 49 to age 51.

This isn't about how good the actual sex is. Women in their 50s and 60s can be fantastic sexually. I just don't look forward to it as much, for some reason.

If other men in their 50s feel the way I do about women in their 50s, then women in their 40s are going to get plenty of attention from men their own age and men a decade or more older.

How does this affect people who only want committed, LTRs? Not sure.

And men in their 50’s tend to look like balding, paunchy, out of shape has-beens. Your best years are WAY behind you, as you likely have about ten or so more years of declining looks before a heart attack takes you. Bummer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 (divorced dad) and had a first date tonight with a stunningly beautiful divorced woman who is 41. (Everyone on the internet claims they look younger, but she could pass for 35 and has a great figure).

We got to talking about online dating and she said that based on past dating experience, she was really surprised by how poor a selection of men she had pursuing her when her settings were ages 35-41.

Once she changed her settings to 40-50, she said she received plenty of interest from handsome, successful and fun men.

Interesting. The older guys I saw just looked... old. And the worst was since some guys lie, they say they're 50 but they're actually 60.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 (divorced dad) and had a first date tonight with a stunningly beautiful divorced woman who is 41. (Everyone on the internet claims they look younger, but she could pass for 35 and has a great figure).

We got to talking about online dating and she said that based on past dating experience, she was really surprised by how poor a selection of men she had pursuing her when her settings were ages 35-41.

Once she changed her settings to 40-50, she said she received plenty of interest from handsome, successful and fun men.

Interesting. The older guys I saw just looked... old. And the worst was since some guys lie, they say they're 50 but they're actually 60.

What she meant is that she really didn’t get much interest until she upped her settings. And the interest she did get was from the kind of men she would never consider. Once she reluctantly went older, she got interest from higher caliber men (who do look older as everyone does as they age).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 (divorced dad) and had a first date tonight with a stunningly beautiful divorced woman who is 41. (Everyone on the internet claims they look younger, but she could pass for 35 and has a great figure).

We got to talking about online dating and she said that based on past dating experience, she was really surprised by how poor a selection of men she had pursuing her when her settings were ages 35-41.

Once she changed her settings to 40-50, she said she received plenty of interest from handsome, successful and fun men.

Interesting. The older guys I saw just looked... old. And the worst was since some guys lie, they say they're 50 but they're actually 60.

Exercises exercise exercise that's the secret. Testosterone is magical. That's a huge advantage that men have but many don't take advantage of it and instead drink alcohol like water. I'm 49 and I won't claim I look 40 but I will confidently say I look f**g good at 49. Both men and women will look good for their age of they take care of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ultimately, it's a supply and demand issue. And the lack of quality men of all ages is warping the market. It's not just men in their 40s and 50s. It's that a lot of young men are checked out from life - professionally, socially, fitness-wise. So that men who do have it together, whether they are 25 or 45, have an incredibly easy time finding dates and partners of all ages. Observationally, watching my single friends, it's the good looking men with great jobs that have a disproportionate amount of power in modern relationship dynamics. For every man who has it together, there are 20 wonderful, beautiful, smart, and kind women who really want to meet him. It's far easier for men these days. The competition for the good ones is fierce. I see it extending down all the way to the college level.

You are falsely assuming that young women who are looking for marriage and children value the same men that older divorced women who already have children do. It's not the same market. There is some overlap, but it's not entirely the same.

I know a late 40s acquaintance who is sleeping with a 20 something year old gym instructor. Were she younger and looking for marriage and children, she wouldn't go anywhere near him.

But she is looking for a good time with someone easy on the eyes. It works for both of them.

That's true. I have a 48 year old very attractive friend who does this. When she's in the mood, she just shows up at the pickle ball court or the college bar and goes home with whoever catches her eye. Women who want one night stands will always have an easier time of it. She certainly doesn't care about their professional prospects. She'd never date them, but that's not what she's looking for.

Does she actually have sex? Its rare for menopausal women to want to do

Maybe rare, but not impossible. I’m 46 and my libido has skyrocketing in the last 2-3 years. I am enjoying sex more now than I did in my 20s.

it is not rare for women in their 50s to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Reading this thread, and seeing what’s really in men’s mind about women, how much hate and contempt they have to 40-50s women, I don’t want to date or use OLD. Very helpful indeed, thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading this thread, and seeing what’s really in men’s mind about women, how much hate and contempt they have to 40-50s women, I don’t want to date or use OLD. Very helpful indeed, thanks

This thread isn't representative of the population. It's one or two bitter divorced men whose wives left them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would correct this thread title to “Good looking divorced 40s women”.
Yes, they do, particular if they are empty nesters.
It’s in fact much better for me at 46 than what it was at 24. Both in terms of the men’s quality and what they are looking for in long term relationships
I’m 46, my dating range for men is 42-59 so far. All for LTR never did flings . I had 2 serious relationships post divorce (at 42), both men were talking marriage. They were 1 year younger and 7 years older from my age, respectively.

You are very realistic and honestly a catch. Most women your age on this forum talk about men under 35. I am surprised you would even entertain going past 40 because we know on this forum women your age not only go much younger but often view man past 40 as sexually done

I don’t go younger/under 40. I like to feel the “more beautiful”, person when coupled. His baby, an arm candy elevating my man. So he can be strong and smart and show me off around.

This is so cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would correct this thread title to “Good looking divorced 40s women”.
Yes, they do, particular if they are empty nesters.
It’s in fact much better for me at 46 than what it was at 24. Both in terms of the men’s quality and what they are looking for in long term relationships
I’m 46, my dating range for men is 42-59 so far. All for LTR never did flings . I had 2 serious relationships post divorce (at 42), both men were talking marriage. They were 1 year younger and 7 years older from my age, respectively.

You are very realistic and honestly a catch. Most women your age on this forum talk about men under 35. I am surprised you would even entertain going past 40 because we know on this forum women your age not only go much younger but often view man past 40 as sexually done

I don’t go younger/under 40. I like to feel the “more beautiful”, person when coupled. His baby, an arm candy elevating my man. So he can be strong and smart and show me off around.

This is so cringe.

Why ? To me as a woman nothing is more cringe then looking way older /not as attractive as my male partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would correct this thread title to “Good looking divorced 40s women”.
Yes, they do, particular if they are empty nesters.
It’s in fact much better for me at 46 than what it was at 24. Both in terms of the men’s quality and what they are looking for in long term relationships
I’m 46, my dating range for men is 42-59 so far. All for LTR never did flings . I had 2 serious relationships post divorce (at 42), both men were talking marriage. They were 1 year younger and 7 years older from my age, respectively.

You are very realistic and honestly a catch. Most women your age on this forum talk about men under 35. I am surprised you would even entertain going past 40 because we know on this forum women your age not only go much younger but often view man past 40 as sexually done

I don’t go younger/under 40. I like to feel the “more beautiful”, person when coupled. His baby, an arm candy elevating my man. So he can be strong and smart and show me off around.

This is so cringe.

Why ? To me as a woman nothing is more cringe then looking way older /not as attractive as my male partner

I thought that way when I was younger and felt like my value was derived from the male gaze, and I sought external validation from men. Back then, I was a people pleaser and prioritized pleasing men over my own needs, but this ultimately led to resentment. I'm still somewhat of a pleaser in my platonic relationships with women, but that is often reciprocated. With men, I now take what I want, which leads to a more mutually satisfactory relationship. I no longer need to be younger or more attractive to my partner. I need them to excite and satisfy me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading this thread, and seeing what’s really in men’s mind about women, how much hate and contempt they have to 40-50s women, I don’t want to date or use OLD. Very helpful indeed, thanks

do you share the feelings when women here simply unload (pretty regularly and often) their contempt (hatred even, for some prolific posters) for men?

if not, then you need to realize that most things here are not any close to representing the truth of what's out there (applies to both genders).