DD Missed Try Outs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

I agree, except the first alternate won't get to practice if it's a safety issue. In a sport that requires a helmet, the coach isn't going to let an alternate just practice without one and get seriously hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

I agree, except the first alternate won't get to practice if it's a safety issue. In a sport that requires a helmet, the coach isn't going to let an alternate just practice without one and get seriously hurt.

This is DCUM...I don't what helmet you may be referring, but nearly every kid has their own helmet/equipment anyway. The team uniform is a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

I agree, except the first alternate won't get to practice if it's a safety issue. In a sport that requires a helmet, the coach isn't going to let an alternate just practice without one and get seriously hurt.

This is DCUM...I don't what helmet you may be referring, but nearly every kid has their own helmet/equipment anyway. The team uniform is a different story.

Well, this probably isn't OP's daughter's sport, but football--the helmet and pads are provided by the team. My kid doesn't have his own helmet and shouder pads like that at home. Even in rec leagues he played as a kid, those things were provided by the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

+1

Coaches know the scene in their sport very well and are fully aware of any highly skilled “difference maker” kids that are coming in as freshmen. If your kid is not in this category it doesn’t mean they won’t make the team…but they don’t have any room to put a foot wrong either. Missing paperwork, iffy grades, not attending off-season workouts, injury, missing tryouts for any reason, attitude or interpersonal issues etc….they will just shrug and take the next best kid because it really doesn’t make much difference. My own freshman DS is in this category- and did make the team- but he and we are definitely fully aware of all of this.

Have your daughter continue with her travel team and try out again next year. And make sure to attend any offseason workouts. Keep in touch with any friends on the team so that she knows what is happening. She has every chance of making the team next year despite not making it this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

Coach is being an ahole. THERE WAS A DEATH in the family, for Fs sake. Kid wasn't in Cancun.

Unless there are no spots available -and that is a valid point- there is no reason not to let the kid have a try out or practice with the team. None. Zero. And at our school, which has some very good sports teams, there are always spots available. They may not dress but they can practice, show up, and vie to dress.

Again, this is high school. There is no reasons for this type of behavior by some wanna-be Nick Saban.

I'm not the OP or the person you quoted.

At my kid's current high school, the only sports that do NOT have a limited number of spots is cross country and track. My older kids went to a different high school than my current high school student, and it was the same there. From what I've heard from friends with high school kids at other schools, it's the same at those schools too.
There just isn't an unlimited amount of spots for sports like soccer, tennis, softball, etc.

+1

The poster that keeps saying "just add her to the roster" either has a child that doesnt play in one of the more competitive sports, or has a child that goes to a school that doesnt routinely fill out a roster

If you have a HS of over 2,000 kids, and they have a few hundred show up to a baseball or softball or basketball tryout, there are going to be cuts.

You can't simply "add a person to the roster after tryouts". It would be incredibly unfair to all the kids that came to the tryout, did their best, but didn't make the team.

And the alternative (cutting an athlete that has already made the team) is even worst.

The only sport that has serious restriction for roster is Basketball and since that is not a spring sport we are not talking about basketball.

I can bring up rosters from your HS from each year and show you there is not an exact number.

What is your school?

+1. West Potomac Baseball roster has varied by 13 spots in the last 4 years.

A roster is never full.

Ah… now I get it. You’re trolling. No one actually thinks that they can reason from one team at one high school to every sport/school.

This is like the 5th time you have missed the point.

You keep stating that rosters are full and there is a finite number. You can easily Google WP's baseball team to verify that you are FOS.

But is there any reason to think thie WPB roster rules are applicable to every other sport? There are super strict rules on basketball rosters in many local leagues, for instance.

These rules are NOT equitable. Why - in 2024 - can’t everyone be on the team?

As a society, we cannot achieve diversity, equity, and inclusion unless we truly begin to live it.

I’m 99% sure this is trolling, but if not, I’d love for PP to return and explain how they’d suggest to running practices and games for a 5 on 5 sport like basketball when 125 kids (the number who showed up for tryouts at DS’s school) are on the team.

But on a more serious note, people who know anything about DEI know that it’s about equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes. Everybody who comes to tryouts get to try out, but not everybody makes the team, and selections are made based on ability to play the sport, not extraneous factors. That’s DEI. The non-DEI system is that only kids whose parents paid the coach for individual training or only kids who belong to the same club or only kids who look the part get to try out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

+1

Coaches know the scene in their sport very well and are fully aware of any highly skilled “difference maker” kids that are coming in as freshmen. If your kid is not in this category it doesn’t mean they won’t make the team…but they don’t have any room to put a foot wrong either. Missing paperwork, iffy grades, not attending off-season workouts, injury, missing tryouts for any reason, attitude or interpersonal issues etc….they will just shrug and take the next best kid because it really doesn’t make much difference. My own freshman DS is in this category- and did make the team- but he and we are definitely fully aware of all of this.

Have your daughter continue with her travel team and try out again next year. And make sure to attend any offseason workouts. Keep in touch with any friends on the team so that she knows what is happening. She has every chance of making the team next year despite not making it this year.

Agree. My DD is in 7th grade and the coach of her sport at her future high school knows who she is already. Zero chance she would fail to email the coach before the tryout in OP's situation, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

Coach is being an ahole. THERE WAS A DEATH in the family, for Fs sake. Kid wasn't in Cancun.

Unless there are no spots available -and that is a valid point- there is no reason not to let the kid have a try out or practice with the team. None. Zero. And at our school, which has some very good sports teams, there are always spots available. They may not dress but they can practice, show up, and vie to dress.

Again, this is high school. There is no reasons for this type of behavior by some wanna-be Nick Saban.

I'm not the OP or the person you quoted.

At my kid's current high school, the only sports that do NOT have a limited number of spots is cross country and track. My older kids went to a different high school than my current high school student, and it was the same there. From what I've heard from friends with high school kids at other schools, it's the same at those schools too.
There just isn't an unlimited amount of spots for sports like soccer, tennis, softball, etc.

+1

The poster that keeps saying "just add her to the roster" either has a child that doesnt play in one of the more competitive sports, or has a child that goes to a school that doesnt routinely fill out a roster

If you have a HS of over 2,000 kids, and they have a few hundred show up to a baseball or softball or basketball tryout, there are going to be cuts.

You can't simply "add a person to the roster after tryouts". It would be incredibly unfair to all the kids that came to the tryout, did their best, but didn't make the team.

And the alternative (cutting an athlete that has already made the team) is even worst.

The only sport that has serious restriction for roster is Basketball and since that is not a spring sport we are not talking about basketball.

I can bring up rosters from your HS from each year and show you there is not an exact number.

What is your school?

+1. West Potomac Baseball roster has varied by 13 spots in the last 4 years.

A roster is never full.

Ah… now I get it. You’re trolling. No one actually thinks that they can reason from one team at one high school to every sport/school.

This is like the 5th time you have missed the point.

You keep stating that rosters are full and there is a finite number. You can easily Google WP's baseball team to verify that you are FOS.

But is there any reason to think thie WPB roster rules are applicable to every other sport? There are super strict rules on basketball rosters in many local leagues, for instance.

These rules are NOT equitable. Why - in 2024 - can’t everyone be on the team?

As a society, we cannot achieve diversity, equity, and inclusion unless we truly begin to live it.

I’m 99% sure this is trolling, but if not, I’d love for PP to return and explain how they’d suggest to running practices and games for a 5 on 5 sport like basketball when 125 kids (the number who showed up for tryouts at DS’s school) are on the team.

But on a more serious note, people who know anything about DEI know that it’s about equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes. Everybody who comes to tryouts get to try out, but not everybody makes the team, and selections are made based on ability to play the sport, not extraneous factors. That’s DEI. The non-DEI system is that only kids whose parents paid the coach for individual training or only kids who belong to the same club or only kids who look the part get to try out.

Ok, we are getting off topic here, but that's not true at all. DEI is not about equality at all. The E is not for equality, it's for "equity" which is a different definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the legitimate reason?

Her grandfather died and she was at the Funeral in Ohio.

And was the coach notified before or after she missed tryouts? Was she registered to try out?

Some sports are cut sports and a student not showing up is an easy way to make a cut.

Anyone who is not an ahole piece of sh-- would cut the kid some slack and let her try out or make an accommodation. Even if they did not tell the coach, "contacting the HS lax coach" is not high on the list when a family member passes. This is not the NCAA, NFL. It's HS.

Contact the AD.

But logistically, what is the coach going to do after this extra try-out?

All the athletes have been notified that they've made the team already. Is the coach going to rescind an offer to one of those girls if OP's daughter does well at the tryout. How do you think that poor girls family would react to that scenario?

Coach is not being an a-hole. He held his tryout and he assembled his roster. This is just the way it work

Coach is being an ahole. THERE WAS A DEATH in the family, for Fs sake. Kid wasn't in Cancun.

Unless there are no spots available -and that is a valid point- there is no reason not to let the kid have a try out or practice with the team. None. Zero. And at our school, which has some very good sports teams, there are always spots available. They may not dress but they can practice, show up, and vie to dress.

Again, this is high school. There is no reasons for this type of behavior by some wanna-be Nick Saban.

I'm not the OP or the person you quoted.

At my kid's current high school, the only sports that do NOT have a limited number of spots is cross country and track. My older kids went to a different high school than my current high school student, and it was the same there. From what I've heard from friends with high school kids at other schools, it's the same at those schools too.
There just isn't an unlimited amount of spots for sports like soccer, tennis, softball, etc.

+1

The poster that keeps saying "just add her to the roster" either has a child that doesnt play in one of the more competitive sports, or has a child that goes to a school that doesnt routinely fill out a roster

If you have a HS of over 2,000 kids, and they have a few hundred show up to a baseball or softball or basketball tryout, there are going to be cuts.

You can't simply "add a person to the roster after tryouts". It would be incredibly unfair to all the kids that came to the tryout, did their best, but didn't make the team.

And the alternative (cutting an athlete that has already made the team) is even worst.

The only sport that has serious restriction for roster is Basketball and since that is not a spring sport we are not talking about basketball.

I can bring up rosters from your HS from each year and show you there is not an exact number.

What is your school?

+1. West Potomac Baseball roster has varied by 13 spots in the last 4 years.

A roster is never full.

Ah… now I get it. You’re trolling. No one actually thinks that they can reason from one team at one high school to every sport/school.

This is like the 5th time you have missed the point.

You keep stating that rosters are full and there is a finite number. You can easily Google WP's baseball team to verify that you are FOS.

But is there any reason to think thie WPB roster rules are applicable to every other sport? There are super strict rules on basketball rosters in many local leagues, for instance.

These rules are NOT equitable. Why - in 2024 - can’t everyone be on the team?

As a society, we cannot achieve diversity, equity, and inclusion unless we truly begin to live it.

I’m 99% sure this is trolling, but if not, I’d love for PP to return and explain how they’d suggest to running practices and games for a 5 on 5 sport like basketball when 125 kids (the number who showed up for tryouts at DS’s school) are on the team.

But on a more serious note, people who know anything about DEI know that it’s about equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes. Everybody who comes to tryouts get to try out, but not everybody makes the team, and selections are made based on ability to play the sport, not extraneous factors. That’s DEI. The non-DEI system is that only kids whose parents paid the coach for individual training or only kids who belong to the same club or only kids who look the part get to try out.

Ok, we are getting off topic here, but that's not true at all. DEI is not about equality at all. The E is not for equality, it's for "equity" which is a different definition.

The equity in DEI is in the sense that people aren’t barred from opportunities or from advancement based on factors extraneous to their ability to do the job. That’s functionally the same as equality of opportunity.

I work on promoting DEI in STEM, and I can assure you that nobody is looking to hire folks who can’t do quality work in pursuit of some misguided notion of equity. The whole idea is to focus on ability to do the work, not just someone’s idea of what a scientist who can do the work looks like.

[Anonymous]

I’ll state further that the difference between equity and equality — as you probably know — is in removing factors that make no difference from impacting people’s ability to do the job. So, not everybody get a hearing aid (things are unequal), but we don’t bar people who use hearing aids from getting a job (equitable).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

I agree, except the first alternate won't get to practice if it's a safety issue. In a sport that requires a helmet, the coach isn't going to let an alternate just practice without one and get seriously hurt.

This is DCUM...I don't what helmet you may be referring, but nearly every kid has their own helmet/equipment anyway. The team uniform is a different story.

Well, this probably isn't OP's daughter's sport, but football--the helmet and pads are provided by the team. My kid doesn't have his own helmet and shouder pads like that at home. Even in rec leagues he played as a kid, those things were provided by the team.

I hear you on football...but seems like in every other sport...LAX, baseball, softball, hockey, etc....most DCUM kids have their own helmets, pads, sticks, bats, etc.

[Anonymous]

This happened with my son, who was put on JV when we had hoped he would make varsity due to legitimate illness the week of tryouts. I raised the issue with the athletic director because there were a couple of players that made varsity that my son was clearly on par with. I was told the roster was full of great players and DS would not get playing time on varsity. At the end of the day, DS clearly lost out. The players on par with his level played the JV games but practiced with varsity. So, DS did not have the opportunity to up his skills by being challenged by the varsity players at practice and did not get to practice with the teammates he had to play with. There also ended up being only three games on the JV schedule and practices were regularly cancelled to allow for varsity games in the gym or because the JV coach travelled with varsity to their games. Looking back, I don't think I could have changed the outcome, but it was pretty terrible experience for him. Just writing to commiserate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman/sophomore students frequently email me when they are going to miss class (for a funeral, wedding, medical appointment, when they wake up with an illness that morning). And that’s math class, there are 90 of them in a year and you can’t be kicked out.

I would expect anyone in high school to know to email ahead of time if they are going to miss try outs, regardless of the reason.

It sucks, but it’s a good lesson to learn now before she misses a medical appointment with a specialist with a 6 month wait, forgets to tell the court she’s out of town and can’t serve jury duty, or misses out on a job because she missed the interview. I’m sure there are tears and frustration, but it’s a learning moment where you can model how to handle big emotions and find alternative ways to access the sport she likes.

NP. I agree with you that this a good life lesson for OP’s dd, but there’s a difference between an event that was planned in advance or an appointment that you’ve scheduled versus the unexpected death of a loved one. Funerals are often held within 72 hours of a death. A high school student may not have ever lost a loved one before. Expecting them to handle their affairs like an adult is a stretch. OP, did you ask your dd about upcoming commitments and advise her on all the people she should notify that she’d be out of town for a funeral? Probably not because you were grieving and had your own commitments to take care of and people to notify. This is the kind of situation where people, especially young and inexperienced people, need a little extra grace.

What kind of "grace" do you recommend the coach show OP's kid? The team roster has been set. Let's say, for example, that the coach selected 15 students because the school has 15 sets of equipment/uniforms for this sport.
Do you suggest that the coach allow OP"s daughter to try out now, and if she is in fact better than one of the previously selected athletes, the coach should kick that girl off the team?

You actually are bringing up the double-standard that exists on basically all sports teams.

A coach will always find a place for a talented athlete. At the HS level at any reasonably competitive school, the coach knows about the good athletes at the school. If OP's kid was in this category, the coach would scratch their hid and wonder "where is Judy, the star 13u soccer player that I know is at the school?". If Judy then reached out and explained the situation, coach would find a way to add her to the team, and make the current #15 the 1st alternate. 1st alternate gets to practice, but only dresses for games if one of the players gets hurt. Kid isn't kicked off the team.

The only reason this thread exists is likely because OP's kid isn't in this category. Coach won't go through all this just to replace current #15 with a slightly better #15.

+1

Coaches know the scene in their sport very well and are fully aware of any highly skilled “difference maker” kids that are coming in as freshmen. If your kid is not in this category it doesn’t mean they won’t make the team…but they don’t have any room to put a foot wrong either. Missing paperwork, iffy grades, not attending off-season workouts, injury, missing tryouts for any reason, attitude or interpersonal issues etc….they will just shrug and take the next best kid because it really doesn’t make much difference. My own freshman DS is in this category- and did make the team- but he and we are definitely fully aware of all of this.

Have your daughter continue with her travel team and try out again next year. And make sure to attend any offseason workouts. Keep in touch with any friends on the team so that she knows what is happening. She has every chance of making the team next year despite not making it this year.

Agree. My DD is in 7th grade and the coach of her sport at her future high school knows who she is already. Zero chance she would fail to email the coach before the tryout in OP's situation, though.

Zero chance? You keel over from an aneurysm and die and you think you're kid is going to be emailing the coach that she can't make it to tryouts? GTFOH.

[Anonymous]

Did your daughter attend Green Days? The coaches know the kids ahead of time. Does any school have kids try out and not register?

My grandmother died right before tryouts during my freshman year. I didn’t go to the first couple of days of tryouts because I was away. I called and left a message on voicemail but I had been attending off season pre season sessions all winter and made the team. This was back in the 90s. It’s easier to send an email now. And again, I’m so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

16:11 again and I think my phone call was to the school office and asked them to get a message to coach whoever. This is a learning experience for your kid to send the email when absent from something.