Stop asking student tour guides where they're applying to college

[Anonymous]

This has got to be one of the more self-indulgent posts on DCUM in a while. OP, if your kid puts themselves out there as tour guide then they are going to be asked this question. Why? because prospective parents want to know where graduates attend. duh. you are being far too sensitive If your kid can't handle it they should do a different activity. Or they could come up with a witty response. Or they could lie and say "all the Ivies". Just stop with the whining

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be one of the more self-indulgent posts on DCUM in a while. OP, if your kid puts themselves out there as tour guide then they are going to be asked this question. Why? because prospective parents want to know where graduates attend. duh. you are being far too sensitive If your kid can't handle it they should do a different activity. Or they could come up with a witty response. Or they could lie and say "all the Ivies". Just stop with the whining

Reread the OP. Son has it handled. The parent is giving a heads up to the oblivious buffoons here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask a date what they do for a living? Do you ask a new client or vendor about their family?

Do you ask a date what salary they make at their job? Do you ask a new client or vendor about whether they get along with certain family members?

DP
We are so sensitive as a society that I'm afraid to wish people a Merry Christmas or Happy Independence Day. Sheesh, I'm tok old for tip toeing - I simply don't care enough how your snowflake wants the question worded. Coach him to give a generic response. I won't pry, but I'm not going to dance around you or your kids' sensitivities. Oh and Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

+1
I will continue to ask. If the tour guide is too sensitive about their personal experiences at the school, they need a different role.

How many tours do you go on and why are you obsessed with knowing? Especially now that it exposes you as an obnoxious boor?

We've been on 6 tours. I'm interested in how articulate the students are because it says something about their ability to navigate social situations, which is an important life skill. If your kid can't handle it and they are a senior, then it's not the right fit for my child/family. That's information I need to have. I agree it's the equivalent of the cocktail party question 'where do you live/work'.

This is pretty slimy. You should be embarrassed. I'm certain your kids are. Please tell the admissions director this is what you're doing with their tour guides. I'm sure they'd be overjoyed to have your family at their school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be one of the more self-indulgent posts on DCUM in a while. OP, if your kid puts themselves out there as tour guide then they are going to be asked this question. Why? because prospective parents want to know where graduates attend. duh. you are being far too sensitive If your kid can't handle it they should do a different activity. Or they could come up with a witty response. Or they could lie and say "all the Ivies". Just stop with the whining

FFS. College admissions are a question for the admissions office, not the volunteer tour guide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some grade A ass holes in this thread. Let's review - OP said, it makes students uncomfortable, so don't ask about college applicstions. Jackasses respond, 'these kids need to toughen up and learn how to change the topic.'

Guess what, in the polite world, we don't try to make people uncomfortable. It's rude. End of story.

Seriously. The entitlement is off the charts.

It’s weird, like their decision to have their kid apply to a high school hinges on what colleges the tour guide is considering. Bizarre.

Seriously, the question isn't targeted at the individual. It's a benchmark for measuring how they field generic questions, which reflects education. I don't care where any kid applies, except mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be one of the more self-indulgent posts on DCUM in a while. OP, if your kid puts themselves out there as tour guide then they are going to be asked this question. Why? because prospective parents want to know where graduates attend. duh. you are being far too sensitive If your kid can't handle it they should do a different activity. Or they could come up with a witty response. Or they could lie and say "all the Ivies". Just stop with the whining

FFS. College admissions are a question for the admissions office, not the volunteer tour guide.

FFS. Asking a kid where they are interested in going to college is not a "college admissions question."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking a HS senior who is literally in the process of applying to college what colleges they are applying to is not the same as asking someone how much money they make. It just isn’t, no matter how many times you insist otherwise. I have never heard anyone of real life—parent or kid—be offended at being asked that question. I am truly flummoxed at what constitutes small talk in your world. I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

So are there no questions that you would consider inappropriately intrusive to ask a HS senior about their college application process?

If there are, where does it "cross the line" from okay to not okay in your eyes?

We are talking about one specific question. Just the one. No one is arguing every question is fair game. And the one question at issue—where are you applying to college—is not a question that most people in the real world would find offensive.

I'm just trying to figure out where your line between okay/not okay is. The fact that you can't/won't say where that is, suggests to me a lack of good faith in this argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12-year-old knows how to politely get a conversation back on track, and avoid answering personal questions if they make her uncomfortable. You need to spend less time trying to “educate” total strangers and spend more time helping your son to prepare for, you know, life.

Wait until you're trying to keep it under wraps where your kid is applying early.
A BS answer to a direct application question is clearly BS and some touring parents think they are going to be paying for private school mostly for admission to elite colleges so they'll press the poor guide.

[Anonymous]

All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be one of the more self-indulgent posts on DCUM in a while. OP, if your kid puts themselves out there as tour guide then they are going to be asked this question. Why? because prospective parents want to know where graduates attend. duh. you are being far too sensitive If your kid can't handle it they should do a different activity. Or they could come up with a witty response. Or they could lie and say "all the Ivies". Just stop with the whining

Reread the OP. Son has it handled. The parent is giving a heads up to the oblivious buffoons here.

And wasting our time. Why is she scolding DCUM readers? Of course, people will ask because they want to know what colleges the graduates are interested in --- because their own child will be in their shoes someday. Seriously, you moms don't need to scold and police everyone else.

[Anonymous]

The line is what counts as either small talk, social conversation or a question intended to learn something about the school (in bounds).

Out of bounds include their boyfriends/girlfriends, qualification for financial aid and grade on Tuesday’s chem test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking a HS senior who is literally in the process of applying to college what colleges they are applying to is not the same as asking someone how much money they make. It just isn’t, no matter how many times you insist otherwise. I have never heard anyone of real life—parent or kid—be offended at being asked that question. I am truly flummoxed at what constitutes small talk in your world. I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

So are there no questions that you would consider inappropriately intrusive to ask a HS senior about their college application process?

If there are, where does it "cross the line" from okay to not okay in your eyes?

We are talking about one specific question. Just the one. No one is arguing every question is fair game. And the one question at issue—where are you applying to college—is not a question that most people in the real world would find offensive.

I'm just trying to figure out where your line between okay/not okay is. The fact that you can't/won't say where that is, suggests to me a lack of good faith in this argument.

DP, but what in the world is your line between okay vs not okay? I am almost afraid to ask you ANYTHING remotely interesting if you believe that asking a teen where they want to go to college is rude. I would have to assume I shouldn't ask you about where you went to college either, because that's a sensitive topic, right? And I have to assume you are also not okay with asking what one does for a living, because what if they are unemployed, or unhappy about their job? Probably also not okay to ask someone where they are from or where they live, because they might be insecure about what area they are from or where they live now. No questions about significant others or if they have kids, because that's probably none of my business too, right? Would you prefer that we just talk about the weather, or is that taboo because we may have different stances on climate change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some grade A ass holes in this thread. Let's review - OP said, it makes students uncomfortable, so don't ask about college applicstions. Jackasses respond, 'these kids need to toughen up and learn how to change the topic.'

Guess what, in the polite world, we don't try to make people uncomfortable. It's rude. End of story.

Seriously. The entitlement is off the charts.

It’s weird, like their decision to have their kid apply to a high school hinges on what colleges the tour guide is considering. Bizarre.

Seriously, the question isn't targeted at the individual. It's a benchmark for measuring how they field generic questions, which reflects education. I don't care where any kid applies, except mine.

This response makes no sense. A benchmark for how they field generic questions? And that reflecting education? Come on, with that kind of BS you've got to be a lawyer too

Families makes odd decisions based on tour guides and spending 1 hour on campuses. People on the DCUM college board are talking about not applying to a school based on a 90-minute visit because of a guide they find strange and one thing they saw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be one of the more self-indulgent posts on DCUM in a while. OP, if your kid puts themselves out there as tour guide then they are going to be asked this question. Why? because prospective parents want to know where graduates attend. duh. you are being far too sensitive If your kid can't handle it they should do a different activity. Or they could come up with a witty response. Or they could lie and say "all the Ivies". Just stop with the whining

Reread the OP. Son has it handled. The parent is giving a heads up to the oblivious buffoons here.

And wasting our time. Why is she scolding DCUM readers? Of course, people will ask because they want to know what colleges the graduates are interested in --- because their own child will be in their shoes someday. Seriously, you moms don't need to scold and police everyone else.

You aren’t even getting your questioned answered by asking a tour guide where they might apply. Ask the admissions director for the list of where last years graduates went. This is very simple.