Are we the only family in the DMV who is priced out?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

WTF kind of statement is this??? DH and I were paying $2500/month in rent 10 years ago with a baby in daycare and an HHI of $160K and somehow managed to buy a house then and our second house this year. $2500/month in rent is a great deal for a family of four.

You're missing the point. OP should have been making sacrifices so she's not paying rent by the time she has a family of 4. Either that or be happy with a cheaper house.

[Anonymous]

sounds like it

[Anonymous]

You aren't priced out, but you aren't going to get everything that you want right away. I don't think that is so unusual. When we bought our house, we decided to prioritize location so we worked on fixing it up over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord

I agree with the advice to save as much as you can early and buy a house before you have kids. Kids are just endless expenses, it never lets up. It just really makes sense to lock in a mortgage of some kind before you have them, because then that expense stays steady and you can plan family finances around it.

But I think it can be hard for many people because there's a generation of people who borrowed quite a bit of money for school. Your first priority after that is to pay down those loans (at least for many people) and that means focusing on work, not necessarily on finding a partner. So that means that people don't save as much in cash savings in their 20s as they used to, and it also means they get married later. So then you get married early 30s and don't always have much cash on hand. Some people get money from parents, or are high paid enough by then to save a down payment quickly, or do creative things like borrow agains their 401k (I know several people who did that, actually). But if there is no family assistance and your incomes are good but not great (especially if you live in a high COL area like DC), you'll be saving much more slowly.

But becoming parents is not something you can postpone indefinitely. And that's what leads to people having kids in their mid-30s before buying a home. They want to have kids while they are still relatively young, they aren't ready to buy, and then kids come along and make it really hard to save.

My DH and I resolved that problem by having a kid later. We prioritized buying a home and then I had a baby at 37. It's not necessarily the way we would have liked to do it, and it meant we only had one kid (which is sad in some ways but also has a lot of financial benefits). But it means we started building equity sooner and are in a better position than OP in our 40s. For us it was worth it because we grew up in families where money was always tight and there was never enough, so having financial stability before we had kids was really important. But it was hard and yes, I do wish we'd met earlier, or paid off our loans earlier, or lived in a lower COL area, all of which might have enabled us to both buy a home and have kids earlier. But you don't always hav perfect control over these things.

[Anonymous]

The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)


This is really true. People with equivalent or sometimes better jobs than their parents expect to live equivalent lives but that’s no longer possible unless you bought >5 years ago.
I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Totally agree. I grew up in a 2bd/2ba SFH with a family of 6. DH grew up in a 3bd/1ba apartment with a family of 4. We are the second owners of a 1964 5bd/2ba raised ranch and man we felt like we lived like KINGS when we bought it! Still here 9 years later.

[Anonymous]

This thread is some bulls**t. You have a king's ransom as a dp and a king's ransom in HHI but can't have EXACTLY what you want where you want it so you are priced out? Go touch grass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Projection much? DH grew up in an apartment with shootings in the parking lot. His left when he was 10. I'd hardly call that UMC.

He and I both don't want to end up house poor, where we both have to work full time into our 70s. We both see that routinely in our workplaces and it scares us. These coworkers have nearly all of their net worth tied up in their homes and didn't start investing for retirement until they were in their 50s. Seeing that every day has made us far less eager to jump into a money pit without an inspection or an adequate reserve fund for structural repairs at our price point. We set a target for that fund (separate from downpayment, closing costs, etc.) and are saving for that. We save about 40% of our take home pay. I think that's decent for a family of four, and if we can't buy around here because I make a median salary and DH is topped out, we'll either have to change jobs and move or just keep renting. We'll be fine either way, as one PP noted, but it does mean that we run the risk of being priced out. It's all about choices. Some people are happy owning and working until they die, some people make 1M a year and save over 50% of their take home pay and can have it all. We are in between, and that's just reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Projection much? DH grew up in an apartment with shootings in the parking lot. His left when he was 10. I'd hardly call that UMC.

He and I both don't want to end up house poor, where we both have to work full time into our 70s. We both see that routinely in our workplaces and it scares us. These coworkers have nearly all of their net worth tied up in their homes and didn't start investing for retirement until they were in their 50s. Seeing that every day has made us far less eager to jump into a money pit without an inspection or an adequate reserve fund for structural repairs at our price point. We set a target for that fund (separate from downpayment, closing costs, etc.) and are saving for that. We save about 40% of our take home pay. I think that's decent for a family of four, and if we can't buy around here because I make a median salary and DH is topped out, we'll either have to change jobs and move or just keep renting. We'll be fine either way, as one PP noted, but it does mean that we run the risk of being priced out. It's all about choices. Some people are happy owning and working until they die, some people make 1M a year and save over 50% of their take home pay and can have it all. We are in between, and that's just reality.

NP Lol then why do you come on this board playing it dumb about being “priced out” of the market? Sounds like you made your choice.

[Anonymous]

Other thing people are a bit lazy. I don’t mean in in a bad way. They also don’t understand hidden costs of a big house.

My little starter home my property taxes and home insurance way less. I painted it myself, did home repairs my self, mowed my own law. Services and when I needed a roofer or new fence also way cheaper. Even auto repair, dry cleaner, restaurants. A cheaper neighborhood with less rent stores charge less. And repairman quote less. Utilities also way less.

A 6,000 sf house on large plot, too big to paint yourself, mow your own lawn and property taxes, home insurance and utilities add up. Plus in a richer neighborhood, mechanic or home repair guy marks up the prices.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It does suck if what you want is a big house. Then I would suggest moving to a cheaper city.

Also, I love the sense of entitlement that comes with making 300k as an HHI. In this area, that is two GS14/15 feds, or two middle managers of medium sized companies. (It is obviously harder to do as a single income, but the point stands.) The idea that you deserve some big house in the close in suburbs of a major city with tons of wealth shows a profound lack of perspective. You might want to see if you can work remotely and move somewhere cheaper.

Profound lack of perspective? Do you know how few families make $300,000 a year in this country?

Don’t you love how on DCUM people with 300k incomes get told all the time how it’s not that much money, they don’t deserve a nice home close to work, they are lowly middle managers, etc. But then also get reamed if they call themselves middle class.

My family makes around that level of income and I think of us as fairly UMC but then plenty of posters rag as if this is working class and how dare we want a kitchen updated within the past decade.

Yes! Exactly. We are too rich to complain and too broke to have nice things. So we get to spend $9, 000 a month on a mortgage with 1982 kitchens and baths and we should be happy about it or else we’re entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

$2500/month is the bottom of the market now for any SFH in this area. I own two 1200-SF dumpy houses way out on the red line and they are rented for that much, and the similar available houses are asking more like $2700. OP deserves some guff here but not for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is some bulls**t. You have a king's ransom as a dp and a king's ransom in HHI but can't have EXACTLY what you want where you want it so you are priced out? Go touch grass.

This should just be a standard autoresponse for any post about being "priced out."

Or the site should have a "translate to normal person" feature. In this case the translation would say:

"I'm not actually priced out, I just refuse to buy where I can actually afford because I consider it beneath me. Annandale, Hyattsville, Silver Spring, EOTR, Gaithersburg, Manassas - all places I could afford a SFH but nope, I won't live there so instead I'll whine and whine and act like it's impossible for me to ever afford a home."

[Anonymous]

300k is a huge income with kids if Dad earns it and Mom stays home with kids.

300k with both parents working and double child care bills is different .

Two parents working with child care means you have to live close in.

One parent a bit of a long commute not a big deal.