Where are people’s manners?

[Anonymous]

Who invites someone to their house and doesn't have plenty of food and snacks for them? Sounds like you couldn't afford this rental. If you were scraping by you should not have invited them to come.

[Anonymous]

Why did you invite this family? Were you trying to impress them that you could afford this vacation home? They probably thought if you could afford to rent this house, you surely could afford to buy enough drinks and snacks. They’re probably at home talking about you just as much as you’re talking about them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: And toys aren't so much shared as taken and tolerated at public pools because they become fair game when the toy owner leaves them unattended and wanders off.

That’s exactly the problem.

It’s people like you who teaches your kids it’s OK to take other people’s things when they leave them unattended or look away.

How is this OK? Why do you feel entitled to others’ personal items?

We were brought up to ask permission before using others’ stuff.

You were obviously raised in a barn.

If you invite someone to a vacation house with a pool, then you are implicitly allowing them use of pool related items including the deck, deck chairs, towels, toys and floaties that are around the pool. Sorry but I don’t see this as an issue at all.

I agree the kids should not have been helping themselves to snacks, opening up cupboards without permission, etc. I also think OP should have had a platter of snacks out to welcome them (like a veggie or cheese plate) with some snacks prior to the meal, and offered guests a drink upon arrival.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you invite this family? Were you trying to impress them that you could afford this vacation home? They probably thought if you could afford to rent this house, you surely could afford to buy enough drinks and snacks. They’re probably at home talking about you just as much as you’re talking about them!

My guess is that OP doesn't particularly like this family, but the family they were sharing the rental with wanted to invite them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you invite this family? Were you trying to impress them that you could afford this vacation home? They probably thought if you could afford to rent this house, you surely could afford to buy enough drinks and snacks. They’re probably at home talking about you just as much as you’re talking about them!

My guess is that OP doesn't particularly like this family, but the family they were sharing the rental with wanted to invite them.

That is my guess too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: And toys aren't so much shared as taken and tolerated at public pools because they become fair game when the toy owner leaves them unattended and wanders off.

That’s exactly the problem.

It’s people like you who teaches your kids it’s OK to take other people’s things when they leave them unattended or look away.

How is this OK? Why do you feel entitled to others’ personal items?

We were brought up to ask permission before using others’ stuff.

You were obviously raised in a barn.

You seem a little crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Admittedly, we rarely travel with other families who aren’t related to us, but we always load up on food (a mix of healthy and junk) and the goal is for everyone to help themselves.

I can’t imagine baking muffins and only giving them to my kids while others watch.

Let me clarify. You are saying that when your family lets say of 3 travels, you make breakfast and lunch for 10 people very day to share everything?

This sounds like bs.

We do what pp does; we all get get groceries for the house and people make their own breakfast/lunch/snacks and generally we take turns making dinner (each family does 1 night or something like that).


Anyway, it sounds like op really dislikes these kids and that the family was not being considerate. That said, why on earth would you be so strict about snacks? Is it a money issue? It doesn’t seem like a big deal to share snacks with hungry guests and it’s so rude and strange to insist guests byo snacks so they don’t touch yours. How was this even communicated?

She said their kids ate ALL of the snacks they had. That is rude.

Probably just a dusty roll of Lifesavers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who invites someone to their house and doesn't have plenty of food and snacks for them? Sounds like you couldn't afford this rental. If you were scraping by you should not have invited them to come.

A pinch-faced, unhealthily skinny socially inept WASP with food issues. There are a lot of them in the DC area.

I remember one of them in our ES in NW DC, who had a non-dropoff birthday party for 1st graders, but didn't have any food or beverages for the parents who had to stick around for 2 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read a few pages of the bacon thread and now I'm kind of getting the vibe OP is an almond mom, who has her very specific foods (organic, lower calorie, or whatever) and wants to bring just enough for her family, so that she can carefully monitor how much everyone eats and create a scarcity around the food. And God forbid if they run out of their food, and have to eat the regular people food like whole milk. It's that sense of control and that idea of "OMG, those other kids ate *so* much." If these two kids ate all of the snacks for the entire weekend in a matter of hours plus were served dinner, I'm guessing the snacks weren't that abundant in the first place.

I agree. She brought an apple and a bag of carrots for the weekend.

[Anonymous]

OP, did anyone get Covid during the pandemic bacon sharing trip?

That is way more rude to me--possibly spreading a virus in a public health crisis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read a few pages of the bacon thread and now I'm kind of getting the vibe OP is an almond mom, who has her very specific foods (organic, lower calorie, or whatever) and wants to bring just enough for her family, so that she can carefully monitor how much everyone eats and create a scarcity around the food. And God forbid if they run out of their food, and have to eat the regular people food like whole milk. It's that sense of control and that idea of "OMG, those other kids ate *so* much." If these two kids ate all of the snacks for the entire weekend in a matter of hours plus were served dinner, I'm guessing the snacks weren't that abundant in the first place.

I agree. She brought an apple and a bag of carrots for the weekend.

I don't think OP is an almond mom (she was frying bacon in that thread while the other family made oatmeal), but I do think she is very rigid about food and what counts as a "proper meal" i.e. people can't just grab cereal or make a sandwich with communal groceries on vacation; every meal has to be a home-cooked, sit-down production or you are lazy if you send your kids to grab a slice of pizza at the boardwalk, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids eat afternoon snacks. They don't go from lunch to dinner without a snack.

Do you not know what “eat all the snacks in the house” means?

[Anonymous]

This mostly sounds like a communication problem, with OP contributing by being passive aggressive and, I think, having unrealistic expectations. It also sounds like the guests maybe didn't understand the dynamics and made what I think are some understandable errors. OP should have been gracious about them.

- We have been the "day guests" to visit friends staying in a rental for a weekend or week. It is a somewhat awkward position to be in because you aren't renting the house and your hosts are, themselves, guests. I've learned from experience to be ultra flexible in this situation.

- I don't think it's weird to tell someone who is coming in that situation "hey we're just here for the weekend so the kitchen isn't super well stocked -- I'd bring any snacks or drinks you think you'll need. We have stuff for dinner but I don't know if there will be enough for lunch so plan accordingly." Yes, it would be more gracious to bring enough food for lunch and snacks, but if you aren't sure you can or don't know how much they might eat, it's okay to set some expectations about what will be available. It's different than hosting in your own house. Was OP clear about this? I am guessing not as clear as she should have been.

- I think you also have to understand that things happen, and not freak out if people who are only coming for a few hours are not as prepared as you are for this house. Holiday weekend, bad traffic, maybe some issues with kids -- maybe they intended to stop for lunch but due to traffic had to do so earlier than they expected or wound up stopping somewhere the kids didn't like. So they showed up hungry. That's not really anyone's fault, it's just an oops.

- You could have recognized "oh hey, we need more food -- how about lets elect two adults to run to the store for more" and presumably everyone kicks in for costs. You just have to vocalize these things, not sit there clutching your pearls and judging because hungry children are -- GASP -- eating food. Yes, the guests could also have recognized what was going on and offered to do a food run. But as the host, it's more on you. Especially if you are the one who is upset.

- The thing about the floaties is dumb and petty AF. It's a rental house with a pool. They usually have some floaties there. Presumably you also brought some. The thing is, as the people renting the house, you probably knew better what was needed. It is not at all weird that the kids used what was available. If this was causing issues with your kids or the other family's kids, you should have spoken up and allocated the toys in a fair way, or just reminded the kids to share or whatever. Just be an adult and say something. Sitting there and judging children for playing with the toys available to them is so weird.

- Regarding the daughter watching TV on "your" bed -- Yes it would have been better if they'd asked first. But it's weird that you are this put out. It's not even your actual bed, it's a rental house. And it's a child, who was tired or needed a break. It's weird you are begrudging her that. You weren't using it. If it bothered you for any reason, you could have said "oh, it might be better to have her lay down [suggest alternate location]." Or is the real problem that you just wanted them to leave and resented them being there at this point. It's just weird to be mad that a tired guest wanted to lay down. And complaining about the beach towel? What on earth? Why did they even need to go rooting around in a closet for a towel, you should have made sure there were plenty available for them from the get go.

It sounds like they could have been a bit better about communicating their needs and offering to pitch in, but the main issue here is that OP is passive aggressive and resentful of the people she invited into this home, and instead of problem solving when minor (and they really are minor) issues came up, she just sat back and seethed about how rude everyone is for not reading her mind and knowing exactly how this somewhat awkward situation should go. OP needs to learn to articulate issues or concerns in the moment, be open to the idea that other people are well-intentioned but just may not know, and then problem solve as necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-
How did it come to pass that this third family got invited? Do you like them? I am sympathetic to you but that’s how I’d feel towards someone I really didn’t like and invited out of obligation. Someone I did like and was close with, I would feel more generous.

While I do like the parents, I think they have failed to instil manners in their kids.

I can’t stand badly mannered and entitled kids at my house -

- they destroy things
- take our stuff without permission
- grab food with their hands out of bowls and platters
- rummage through cabinets, pantry and fridge and will eat whatever they find that suits them
- leave greasy fingerprints in doors, walls and everywhere they go
- they are unable to carry a conversation

I have several friends with kids like these and then I have friends with very well mannered kids who are a joy to have around and converse with.

In addition to this, this particular family likes to mooch off of other people.

You know all this and invited them anyway? Looks like the joke is on you.

None of this is true. This lady is just crazy and miserable! I’d love to hear the other side of this story.

It's probably something along the lines of: the kids ate one granola bar apiece, all the kids were playing on the floats together, and OP was so drunk, loud and obnoxious, the daughter wanted to get away from the noise for a bit and went to another room. It's weird that OP is so territorial about a rented place she was just staying in for the weekend. Who cares if someone opened a cabinet?

You have no manners and are proud of it. We get it.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read a few pages of the bacon thread and now I'm kind of getting the vibe OP is an almond mom, who has her very specific foods (organic, lower calorie, or whatever) and wants to bring just enough for her family, so that she can carefully monitor how much everyone eats and create a scarcity around the food. And God forbid if they run out of their food, and have to eat the regular people food like whole milk. It's that sense of control and that idea of "OMG, those other kids ate *so* much." If these two kids ate all of the snacks for the entire weekend in a matter of hours plus were served dinner, I'm guessing the snacks weren't that abundant in the first place.

I agree. She brought an apple and a bag of carrots for the weekend.

I don't think OP is an almond mom (she was frying bacon in that thread while the other family made oatmeal), but I do think she is very rigid about food and what counts as a "proper meal" i.e. people can't just grab cereal or make a sandwich with communal groceries on vacation; every meal has to be a home-cooked, sit-down production or you are lazy if you send your kids to grab a slice of pizza at the boardwalk, etc.

I can see that. My in-laws are like that, they get all huffy when we get up, grab a quick breakfast and head down to the beach (not that I care, but it's amusing to see my FIL sitting there all pouty because there isn't a full meal of eggs, bacon and pancakes).