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Travel Discussion
Reply to "Where are people’s manners?"
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[quote=Anonymous]This mostly sounds like a communication problem, with OP contributing by being passive aggressive and, I think, having unrealistic expectations. It also sounds like the guests maybe didn't understand the dynamics and made what I think are some understandable errors. OP should have been gracious about them. - We have been the "day guests" to visit friends staying in a rental for a weekend or week. It is a somewhat awkward position to be in because you aren't renting the house and your hosts are, themselves, guests. I've learned from experience to be ultra flexible in this situation. - I don't think it's weird to tell someone who is coming in that situation "hey we're just here for the weekend so the kitchen isn't super well stocked -- I'd bring any snacks or drinks you think you'll need. We have stuff for dinner but I don't know if there will be enough for lunch so plan accordingly." Yes, it would be more gracious to bring enough food for lunch and snacks, but if you aren't sure you can or don't know how much they might eat, it's okay to set some expectations about what will be available. It's different than hosting in your own house. Was OP clear about this? I am guessing not as clear as she should have been. - I think you also have to understand that things happen, and not freak out if people who are only coming for a few hours are not as prepared as you are for this house. Holiday weekend, bad traffic, maybe some issues with kids -- maybe they intended to stop for lunch but due to traffic had to do so earlier than they expected or wound up stopping somewhere the kids didn't like. So they showed up hungry. That's not really anyone's fault, it's just an oops. - You could have recognized "oh hey, we need more food -- how about lets elect two adults to run to the store for more" and presumably everyone kicks in for costs. You just have to vocalize these things, not sit there clutching your pearls and judging because hungry children are -- GASP -- eating food. Yes, the guests could also have recognized what was going on and offered to do a food run. But as the host, it's more on you. Especially if you are the one who is upset. - The thing about the floaties is dumb and petty AF. It's a rental house with a pool. They usually have some floaties there. Presumably you also brought some. The thing is, as the people renting the house, you probably knew better what was needed. It is not at all weird that the kids used what was available. If this was causing issues with your kids or the other family's kids, you should have spoken up and allocated the toys in a fair way, or just reminded the kids to share or whatever. Just be an adult and say something. Sitting there and judging children for playing with the toys available to them is so weird. - Regarding the daughter watching TV on "your" bed -- Yes it would have been better if they'd asked first. But it's weird that you are this put out. It's not even your actual bed, it's a rental house. And it's a child, who was tired or needed a break. It's weird you are begrudging her that. You weren't using it. If it bothered you for any reason, you could have said "oh, it might be better to have her lay down [suggest alternate location]." Or is the real problem that you just wanted them to leave and resented them being there at this point. It's just weird to be mad that a tired guest wanted to lay down. And complaining about the beach towel? What on earth? Why did they even need to go rooting around in a closet for a towel, you should have made sure there were plenty available for them from the get go. It sounds like they could have been a bit better about communicating their needs and offering to pitch in, but the main issue here is that OP is passive aggressive and resentful of the people she invited into this home, and instead of problem solving when minor (and they really are minor) issues came up, she just sat back and seethed about how rude everyone is for not reading her mind and knowing exactly how this somewhat awkward situation should go. OP needs to learn to articulate issues or concerns in the moment, be open to the idea that other people are well-intentioned but just may not know, and then problem solve as necessary.[/quote]
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