Where are people’s manners?

[Anonymous]

I wasn't raised in a barn or a trailer park, but I did go on my fair share of joint vacations with other families and have done so with my own kids. Sharing food is really part of that experience. You are sharing a home, it would be super weird to have three separate sets of food for three families for such a short period of time (unless someone has a severe allergy or something like that) In fact, it is one of the pleasures of a trip like this. You or your child may discover a new snack or way of preparing snacks that she really likes.

I think OP has two separate issues: sharing food and boundary crossing. I don't really get the former in a group setting but I can understand the latter. It is definitely rude for a kid or a parent to help themselves to stuff or go in your bedroom without asking, but in a group environment , I'd let that go and move on.

Its your vacation too, why let little things ruin it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well, we all know DCUM is in full support of the weird (mostly) Gen Y/Z obsession with their kids needing to cram something in their mouths every 60-90 minutes between meals, lest they wither and die on the vine.

Their kids probably weigh 200 lb from all the sandwiches and muffins these women shove in them every two hours.

As a new parent the emphasis on snacks for everything shocked me. When my kids started soccer at age 3 I could not understand why we had to provide juice and snacks after matches - not practice, but matches which seemed to be shorter. It was such an important thing to parents, they would get pissed if the snacks weren't "good" enough. The fields were filled with trash from the kids snacks. If you walk around the fields at any public school you'll see it. The whole match start to finish was less than 2 hours. No kid was dying or so depleted to need this. It is insane.

I felt the same about gd goody bags filled with plastic crap for every event in school. Why do parents not question this idiocy and refuse?

You don't think kids (who are calorie furnaces by virtue of growing in the first place) would benefit from a snack after 2 hours of physical activity? wtf?

Calorie furnaces? So little Larla is going to collapse after her short soccer match without an IV of juicy juice and a gullet filled with fish crackers? JFC tell me you are joking. You clearly are not a parent with a little kid doing little kid sports.

You are implying little kids soccer, t ball, ll baseball are hard charging death matches. Since you don't have kids, I'll enlighten you. The kids may move for 15 minutes or just stand around for 15 minutes and pick flowers and do nothing but sit on a bench for 30 or 40 minutes. No kids match is 2 hours. There is not a single kids sport where their game or match involves individual kids moving for 2 hours.

Funny but the kids survive the practices without the organized snack insanity but make it a match where there is less movement and the kids are going to collapse on the field without a juicy juice iv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

- Regarding the daughter watching TV on "your" bed -- Yes it would have been better if they'd asked first. But it's weird that you are this put out. It's not even your actual bed, it's a rental house. And it's a child, who was tired or needed a break. It's weird you are begrudging her that. You weren't using it.

It is actually my bed. I slept in that bed.

So if you are invited to someone’s house and feel tired you can sneak into host’s bedroom, make yourself comfortable on their bed and watch TV? Is this how you are raising your kids?

And where is this OK? What universe? In your trailer park?

Good hosts will notice when a young kid looks tired or cranky, and would offer them a place to get some quiet time and maybe a chance to nap.

A lot of people on this thread seem wholly incapable of hosting guests. Maybe you shouldn't invite people over, if hospitality is so alien to you?

You keep making this sound as if the kid was a 3 year old. Not the case. You keep rewording things to make op sound worse. Are you a repugnican?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well, we all know DCUM is in full support of the weird (mostly) Gen Y/Z obsession with their kids needing to cram something in their mouths every 60-90 minutes between meals, lest they wither and die on the vine.

Their kids probably weigh 200 lb from all the sandwiches and muffins these women shove in them every two hours.

As a new parent the emphasis on snacks for everything shocked me. When my kids started soccer at age 3 I could not understand why we had to provide juice and snacks after matches - not practice, but matches which seemed to be shorter. It was such an important thing to parents, they would get pissed if the snacks weren't "good" enough. The fields were filled with trash from the kids snacks. If you walk around the fields at any public school you'll see it. The whole match start to finish was less than 2 hours. No kid was dying or so depleted to need this. It is insane.

I felt the same about gd goody bags filled with plastic crap for every event in school. Why do parents not question this idiocy and refuse?

What soccer league is this? My oldest is 8 and has done soccer in different leagues, etc since he was 3 and not once have we been asked to bring snacks.

I usually bring something for him if a game or practice is pushing up against a normal snack or meal time (my kids get an afternoon snack at a somewhat set time). If the game or practice is around a snack or meal time it is disingenuous to say "oh no kid is dying by not having a snack over the course of two hours." If he didn't eat for three or four hours before the game when he normally would then the fact that the game itself is two hours is not relevant

Every single league - soccer, tball, baseball, football had snacks and drinks provided by a parent from a list maintained by a mom (sexist as hell) after games and matches. This is crazy and doesn't happen around the practices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

- Regarding the daughter watching TV on "your" bed -- Yes it would have been better if they'd asked first. But it's weird that you are this put out. It's not even your actual bed, it's a rental house. And it's a child, who was tired or needed a break. It's weird you are begrudging her that. You weren't using it.

It is actually my bed. I slept in that bed.

So if you are invited to someone’s house and feel tired you can sneak into host’s bedroom, make yourself comfortable on their bed and watch TV? Is this how you are raising your kids?

And where is this OK? What universe? In your trailer park?

Good hosts will notice when a young kid looks tired or cranky, and would offer them a place to get some quiet time and maybe a chance to nap.

A lot of people on this thread seem wholly incapable of hosting guests. Maybe you shouldn't invite people over, if hospitality is so alien to you?

You keep making this sound as if the kid was a 3 year old. Not the case. You keep rewording things to make op sound worse. Are you a repugnican?

You seem really angry over what was basically a minor faux pas, if that.

Other people sometimes don't do exactly what you want them to do. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't raised in a barn or a trailer park, but I did go on my fair share of joint vacations with other families and have done so with my own kids. Sharing food is really part of that experience. You are sharing a home, it would be super weird to have three separate sets of food for three families for such a short period of time (unless someone has a severe allergy or something like that) In fact, it is one of the pleasures of a trip like this. You or your child may discover a new snack or way of preparing snacks that she really likes.

I think OP has two separate issues: sharing food and boundary crossing. I don't really get the former in a group setting but I can understand the latter. It is definitely rude for a kid or a parent to help themselves to stuff or go in your bedroom without asking, but in a group environment , I'd let that go and move on.

Its your vacation too, why let little things ruin it?

Yeah, the separate foods in a rental house is really weird to me. We've been going to the beach annually with three other families for about 10 years. We just buy a huge amount of food and beverages, and the cost of everything gets sorted out and split after the week.

And one of the best parts is that you don't need to make every single meal for your own family during vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't raised in a barn or a trailer park, but I did go on my fair share of joint vacations with other families and have done so with my own kids. Sharing food is really part of that experience. You are sharing a home, it would be super weird to have three separate sets of food for three families for such a short period of time (unless someone has a severe allergy or something like that) In fact, it is one of the pleasures of a trip like this. You or your child may discover a new snack or way of preparing snacks that she really likes.

I think OP has two separate issues: sharing food and boundary crossing. I don't really get the former in a group setting but I can understand the latter. It is definitely rude for a kid or a parent to help themselves to stuff or go in your bedroom without asking, but in a group environment , I'd let that go and move on.

Its your vacation too, why let little things ruin it?

Yeah, the separate foods in a rental house is really weird to me. We've been going to the beach annually with three other families for about 10 years. We just buy a huge amount of food and beverages, and the cost of everything gets sorted out and split after the week.

And one of the best parts is that you don't need to make every single meal for your own family during vacation.

That's how reasonable people handle it, but I sense (and I don't remember if I already posted this or just thought it in my head) that OP has very different food habits than most people on vacation and that she wants to cook and eat 3 square sit-down meals a day, with her family and her family only, while others are more casual and are happy to grab yogurt and a banana whenever they wake up or send a dad out for donuts in the AM, and fix a quick sandwich or grab a burger at the beach shack for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

- Regarding the daughter watching TV on "your" bed -- Yes it would have been better if they'd asked first. But it's weird that you are this put out. It's not even your actual bed, it's a rental house. And it's a child, who was tired or needed a break. It's weird you are begrudging her that. You weren't using it.

It is actually my bed. I slept in that bed.

So if you are invited to someone’s house and feel tired you can sneak into host’s bedroom, make yourself comfortable on their bed and watch TV? Is this how you are raising your kids?

And where is this OK? What universe? In your trailer park?

Good hosts will notice when a young kid looks tired or cranky, and would offer them a place to get some quiet time and maybe a chance to nap.

A lot of people on this thread seem wholly incapable of hosting guests. Maybe you shouldn't invite people over, if hospitality is so alien to you?

You keep making this sound as if the kid was a 3 year old. Not the case. You keep rewording things to make op sound worse. Are you a repugnican?

You seem really angry over what was basically a minor faux pas, if that.

Other people sometimes don't do exactly what you want them to do. Such is life.

There is nothing about my post that is angry. I would definitely say that about you. Op was venting and is po'd. You can't have that because you need to show us you are a superior person. Here's your cookie. We see you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't raised in a barn or a trailer park, but I did go on my fair share of joint vacations with other families and have done so with my own kids. Sharing food is really part of that experience. You are sharing a home, it would be super weird to have three separate sets of food for three families for such a short period of time (unless someone has a severe allergy or something like that) In fact, it is one of the pleasures of a trip like this. You or your child may discover a new snack or way of preparing snacks that she really likes.

I think OP has two separate issues: sharing food and boundary crossing. I don't really get the former in a group setting but I can understand the latter. It is definitely rude for a kid or a parent to help themselves to stuff or go in your bedroom without asking, but in a group environment , I'd let that go and move on.

Its your vacation too, why let little things ruin it?

Yeah, the separate foods in a rental house is really weird to me. We've been going to the beach annually with three other families for about 10 years. We just buy a huge amount of food and beverages, and the cost of everything gets sorted out and split after the week.

And one of the best parts is that you don't need to make every single meal for your own family during vacation.

That's how reasonable people handle it, but I sense (and I don't remember if I already posted this or just thought it in my head) that OP has very different food habits than most people on vacation and that she wants to cook and eat 3 square sit-down meals a day, with her family and her family only, while others are more casual and are happy to grab yogurt and a banana whenever they wake up or send a dad out for donuts in the AM, and fix a quick sandwich or grab a burger at the beach shack for lunch.

Yeah, I can't imagine going on vacation and sharing a house with other people if I was that rigid. In our beach house group, we have people on various diets (keto, low-sodium, etc.), but they let it go for vacation week. Vacation is the only time it's perfectly fine to have a bacon-maple donut washed down with a beer for breakfast.

My MIL and FIL are rigid like that- it's not breakfast unless it involves eggs, meat, coffee and some sort of carbohydrate. They get sulky when nobody wants to spend an hour and a half for breakfast before going down to the beach, but we've all learned to ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

- Regarding the daughter watching TV on "your" bed -- Yes it would have been better if they'd asked first. But it's weird that you are this put out. It's not even your actual bed, it's a rental house. And it's a child, who was tired or needed a break. It's weird you are begrudging her that. You weren't using it.

It is actually my bed. I slept in that bed.

So if you are invited to someone’s house and feel tired you can sneak into host’s bedroom, make yourself comfortable on their bed and watch TV? Is this how you are raising your kids?

And where is this OK? What universe? In your trailer park?

Good hosts will notice when a young kid looks tired or cranky, and would offer them a place to get some quiet time and maybe a chance to nap.

A lot of people on this thread seem wholly incapable of hosting guests. Maybe you shouldn't invite people over, if hospitality is so alien to you?

You keep making this sound as if the kid was a 3 year old. Not the case. You keep rewording things to make op sound worse. Are you a repugnican?

You seem really angry over what was basically a minor faux pas, if that.

Other people sometimes don't do exactly what you want them to do. Such is life.

There is nothing about my post that is angry. I would definitely say that about you. Op was venting and is po'd. You can't have that because you need to show us you are a superior person. Here's your cookie. We see you.

Have they figured out what personality disorder you're suffering from, or is it something bespoke to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't raised in a barn or a trailer park, but I did go on my fair share of joint vacations with other families and have done so with my own kids. Sharing food is really part of that experience. You are sharing a home, it would be super weird to have three separate sets of food for three families for such a short period of time (unless someone has a severe allergy or something like that) In fact, it is one of the pleasures of a trip like this. You or your child may discover a new snack or way of preparing snacks that she really likes.

I think OP has two separate issues: sharing food and boundary crossing. I don't really get the former in a group setting but I can understand the latter. It is definitely rude for a kid or a parent to help themselves to stuff or go in your bedroom without asking, but in a group environment , I'd let that go and move on.

Its your vacation too, why let little things ruin it?

Yeah, the separate foods in a rental house is really weird to me. We've been going to the beach annually with three other families for about 10 years. We just buy a huge amount of food and beverages, and the cost of everything gets sorted out and split after the week.

And one of the best parts is that you don't need to make every single meal for your own family during vacation.

You've found a good group. Now imagine being with some of the DCUM families.

Like everyone throws their receipts in a basket to get split later. But Sharon goes to CVS for fancy sunblock because she didn't bring any and the communal banana boat is not good enough. And Todd gets it in his head to spend $500 on seafood but none of the kids and only two of the adults like what he's bought, and he doesn't bother to get it all into a boil before the clams are a little past. So it gets thrown out. And Rick has gone through all the discount alcohol everyone got at Costco beforehand and now he's spending $100 every other day at the local liquor place for things like anejo tequilas, spicy bloody mary vodkas and campari because he wants a mixologist vacation now.

Imagine this in a DCUM world and the fights!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was fully prepared to be outraged. I’m not.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids eat afternoon snacks. They don't go from lunch to dinner without a snack.

That’s not ops responsibility.

I’m south Asian and I am horrified at how posters don’t want to give food to people they have invited to their home AND are offended that the kids - who were probably told to feel like they are at home and are friends with the other kids - ate snacks that were in the pantry. My kids friends come over all the time and raid our pantry. And I don’t care one iota. I’m amazed. But maybe it’s a cultural thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why you invited a family over for dinner, specifically told them to come after lunch so you don't have to feed them, specifically told them to bring snacks so you don't have to feed them snacks....that's a weird flex.

They were rude to not ask, yes, but you are not a gracious host. At all. If guests are coming after lunch you could easily have put out a spread of snacks and drinks.

I agree. If I invited a family for one day, I would have fed them all day. And I would have offered a bed before they needed to claim one on their own.

+193874839293848929102848492919239

[Anonymous]

All you can do is to tell your kids (if you haven’t already) to always ask you first when your family is invited to another home. These people clearly have not raised their children with any manners. I can’t imagine doing this when I was a pre teen or teen. If you invite another family again, you could ask their expectations for their kids. Children only know what their parents teach them or what they learn in school. Get new friends.

quote=Anonymous]Our family and another family rented a house together for a weekend. We invited a third family to come one day just during the day.

They arrive. Their kids are starving as they didn’t feed them lunch and didn’t bring them snacks. The kids eat literally ALL the snacks we had in the house that we brought for the whole weekend. Their dog is starving and they didn’t bring any food for the dog.

The kids take our floaties without asking. They go through our fridge, through the cabinets.

Then while we are all seating and talking after dinner the woman WITHOUT ASKING or telling me takes her DD to our bedroom and puts her on our bed and turns the TV on and lets her use my beach towel she found in my closet.

Do people have no personal space and personal property concepts anymore?