This is the first year in 13 years that I have completely dropped the rope with DH’s family

[Anonymous]

Its Jesus Christ's birthday. Why are all of you giving gifts to each other????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. Do single men just never see their families? Without a wife to set up visits will be single men never see their mothers again

When dh was single (early 20s), he just drove home for Christmas. He didn't buy presents, make food to bring, or have to pack up kids. He's helpful and would cook with his mom in the kitchen and do dishes, but all the "hosting" and planning was on her.

Fast forward and it takes hours to pack up the kids to stay with my inlaws. He can't be relied upon to do any of that. I actually burst into tears because he made so much fun of "all the stuff we brought" over Thanksgiving break. We have 3 kids, including a baby who sleeps in a pack n play. They need snow gear for playing in the snow and they do like to change into new clothes every single day (shocking!). It's so hard to travel and I'm dreading Christmas. Purchasing presents and wrapping them for my inlaws is actually enjoyable for me.

It will get better. Once they are older they need way less.

But also, ask him what he think is "non essential". As you pack each bag, tell him what's in it. What does he think you should leave at home? The pack and play? The snow suits so that you have unhappy children in the snow? The extra clothes? Is he doing to do laundry every day and run to Walmart?

Actually, maybe you should leave it all and then tell him you have to go to Walmart when you arrive. Be gone for 5 hours. Come home and park around the corner and have a hot toddy, then pull into the driveway right before dinner should be done. I'm sure he'd be SO helpful with his mother while also keeping track of the 3 children.

[Anonymous]

Me too this year. In February I sent FIL a gift for his birthday. He spent 15 minutes on the phone telling me why he didn’t like it. “Next time just get me…”. Dude there will be no next time, and I communicated that to husband. Obviously this wasn’t the first but last straw. Christmas is here now and I sent nothing. Asked DH what he got his father and he stared at me blankly. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me too this year. In February I sent FIL a gift for his birthday. He spent 15 minutes on the phone telling me why he didn’t like it. “Next time just get me…”. Dude there will be no next time, and I communicated that to husband. Obviously this wasn’t the first but last straw. Christmas is here now and I sent nothing. Asked DH what he got his father and he stared at me blankly. Oh well.

It’s wild to me that people do this. I’ve gotten plenty of gifts I didn’t love over the years but it’s so rude to complain! I can’t imagine not appreciating the fact that someone went out of their way to pick something out and gift it to me. Where are these peoples manners??