Sorority rush - please make it sound appealing to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing is a laughingstock to the rest of the world who care to know of its existence. Which would be funny if the participants weren't so convinced of their own superiority, which ultimately makes the whole thing a bit sad. "We're laughing at you, not with you," as it were. I would personally avoid.

This. And people on DCUM trip over themselves to defend it, because being in an idiotic sorority was the highlight of their sad little lives and they still cling to it 20-30 years later.

People post from all over the country on this subject in particular. I’ve never heard a grown woman in the DMV mention her sorority but in the south, it remains a big part of their identity forever.

A lot of posters here don’t understand how different rush and Greek life is at each school. It can be true that all the stereotypes are accurate at one school AND not at another. But several people on this thread sound too young to even teenagers so I don’t think this thread helpful for anyone.

[Anonymous]

The venom from the anti-greek people on this thread is really inappropriate and over the top. I think you all need to take a break, sit back and read these posts in a few days and you'll see how poorly you came across. We can have a civil conversation about the pros and cons, but one side is just resorting habitually name calling without knowledge or facts. I think you know who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The venom from the anti-greek people on this thread is really inappropriate and over the top. I think you all need to take a break, sit back and read these posts in a few days and you'll see how poorly you came across. We can have a civil conversation about the pros and cons, but one side is just resorting habitually name calling without knowledge or facts. I think you know who you are.

Bless your heart. It’s on the other side too it’s just delivered in an underhanded way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The venom from the anti-greek people on this thread is really inappropriate and over the top. I think you all need to take a break, sit back and read these posts in a few days and you'll see how poorly you came across. We can have a civil conversation about the pros and cons, but one side is just resorting habitually name calling without knowledge or facts. I think you know who you are.

My impression is that the pro-Greek side is more aggressive on this thread.

But I agree that all sides can be more civil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The venom from the anti-greek people on this thread is really inappropriate and over the top. I think you all need to take a break, sit back and read these posts in a few days and you'll see how poorly you came across. We can have a civil conversation about the pros and cons, but one side is just resorting habitually name calling without knowledge or facts. I think you know who you are.

Bless your heart. It’s on the other side too it’s just delivered in an underhanded way.

I agree that the “sorry you didn’t get a bid” posts are classless and probably just from trolls or even kids who routinely post on this board. But the superiority complexes and double standards coming from the anti Greek people is over the top. I mean some of you care WAY too much about a voluntary system. Do it or don’t, no one cares. Sorry to burst your bubble but many of your own kids are going to be interested despite your claim that your kids are too good for it and too enlightened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The venom from the anti-greek people on this thread is really inappropriate and over the top. I think you all need to take a break, sit back and read these posts in a few days and you'll see how poorly you came across. We can have a civil conversation about the pros and cons, but one side is just resorting habitually name calling without knowledge or facts. I think you know who you are.

Bless your heart. It’s on the other side too it’s just delivered in an underhanded way.

I agree that the “sorry you didn’t get a bid” posts are classless and probably just from trolls or even kids who routinely post on this board. But the superiority complexes and double standards coming from the anti Greek people is over the top. I mean some of you care WAY too much about a voluntary system. Do it or don’t, no one cares. Sorry to burst your bubble but many of your own kids are going to be interested despite your claim that your kids are too good for it and too enlightened.

Not sure why you’re directing this at me. I’ve always disliked the greek system but supported my kid 110% when she wanted to rush. Every stereotype was true in that experience so my opinion hasn’t changed. I also know people who have had good experiences and I don’t make fun of them. It’s not for everyone and that’s ok. And the stereotypes are true at some schools. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. I care because it was a horribly negative experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rush is startlingly similar to the law firm on campus interview (OCI) process.

no it isn’t. And I was a Sorority President and went to Yale Law.

Look everyone, we have a real Elle Woods here! How's Bruiser doing? You still have the "Bend and Snap" down?

Wait, you think sorority women are the mean girls?

I guess humor escapes you, too much bronzer? Figured a former Sorority President and Yale Law grad could cope...guess not.

You are talking to different posters. I was the one who was sorority president (which I regret to this day) and went on to Yale Law. My only point in posting -which I did only once. - was to address the absurd comment that rush is like applying for law firms jobs.

How's Bruiser Elle?

I wouldn’t know. I’m a Yale law grad in BigLaw. Why would o waste my time on vapid movies like that?

Because people that keep repeating they are Yale Law grads in BigLaw on anonymous forums are usually vapid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD rushed last year and I was in a sorority.

I preface this all by saying, neither of us rushed in the South. That's a whole different ballgame that I know nothing about.

It also varies by school but for DD (VA Tech) They suggest what type of outfit to wear for each day of rush. It gets more formal the further you get into rush. After each round you list you get to drop a certain # and the sororities drop a certain #. It goes on like this each round until you get down to 2. You rank them 1 and 2 and the sororities do the same. Yes, you may not get your top choice. You may not even get your second choice but I think that's pretty rare. If you don't like the bid you end with you don't have to take it.

Same.

I rushed in the midwest so it is not the same. There were different themed days and you rotated through the houses, gradually striking those you were not interested in/them striking you. You got it down to 2 for a final "formal" night. You may not get your first choice, and some of my friends didn't, but everyone got a bid somewhere. You don't have to take it.

Rush was actually kind of fun. And yes, looks, clothes, etc. all play a part. But, in all, it was pretty enjoyable.

One the inside, Rush is less fun b/c you see that (even in places like the Midwest) the girls are supery bi---y and judg-y. I had it out with one "sister" who was making some really inappropriate remarks about one of the girls rushing . . . I didn't care for that process.

[Anonymous]

it is the way the real world works. Same thing happens for job interviews, internships ertc.

It is a cut throat world. get used to it early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

HA NP, I was JUST coming on here to say how the anti-greek people in this thread are some of the most judgemental people I have ever seen, with one heck of a superiority complex.

As someone what was in a popular fraternity at a rich southern school, I’d call the anti-Greek people entirely rational. My experience of Greek life was that it was abusive, exclusionary, sexually predatory, racist, and dangerously drug and alcohol fueled. I have no problem with people judging Greek organizations.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I should have added dishonest and criminal to the list of adjectives that characterized my experience of Greek life. At a school that highly valued its honor code, cheating was rampant, and drunken vandalism was super common. One of the things that bothered me most was the absolutely cynical gaslighting our members engaged in. Brothers absolutely went out of their way to project a false impression of openness to diversity and opposition to sexual violence, the laughed about how they deceived the school administration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

HA NP, I was JUST coming on here to say how the anti-greek people in this thread are some of the most judgemental people I have ever seen, with one heck of a superiority complex.

As someone what was in a popular fraternity at a rich southern school, I’d call the anti-Greek people entirely rational. My experience of Greek life was that it was abusive, exclusionary, sexually predatory, racist, and dangerously drug and alcohol fueled. I have no problem with people judging Greek organizations.

So with your two posts you have made PP's point. You are anti-Greek, judgmental and one heck of a superiority complex. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

HA NP, I was JUST coming on here to say how the anti-greek people in this thread are some of the most judgemental people I have ever seen, with one heck of a superiority complex.

As someone what was in a popular fraternity at a rich southern school, I’d call the anti-Greek people entirely rational. My experience of Greek life was that it was abusive, exclusionary, sexually predatory, racist, and dangerously drug and alcohol fueled. I have no problem with people judging Greek organizations.

So with your two posts you have made PP's point. You are anti-Greek, judgmental and one heck of a superiority complex. Got it.

And here’s the gaslighting I mentioned. I say “I experienced racist, criminal, sexually predatory behavior.” PP responds “You have a superiority complex.”

Thanks for proving my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I should have added dishonest and criminal to the list of adjectives that characterized my experience of Greek life. At a school that highly valued its honor code, cheating was rampant, and drunken vandalism was super common. One of the things that bothered me most was the absolutely cynical gaslighting our members engaged in. Brothers absolutely went out of their way to project a false impression of openness to diversity and opposition to sexual violence, the laughed about how they deceived the school administration.

sounds like you should have dropped, and hopefully you did. My point, as a previous poster, is that not every house is like this. You said a top house at a rich school, yep fully believe you. I told my DD she shouldn't interact with those guys they are trouble. She is in a lower mid tier sorority who mixes with lower mid frats, and they are all so nice and so much fun. She only feels worried about her safety when in those higher tier houses filled with entitled rich boys.

My DS is in a low tier frat just a nice group of guys who enjoy each others company. They are known for being "non frat guys who just happen to be in a frat". If he saw any of what you mentioned, he'd have dropped in a hurry.

see, lots of varying experiences. Yes, you do need to be concerned in some of these places and girls (and guys) need to keep their eyes open, BUT conversely, there are some great houses where people can have a great time and make lifelong friends and memories.

I also know a friend whose DS dropped during pledging from another frat at my DS's school. Terrible, awful experience that i wouldn't wish on anyone, and I wish they'd get kicked off. My DS experienced none of that with his house. There are houses which know how to do it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

HA NP, I was JUST coming on here to say how the anti-greek people in this thread are some of the most judgemental people I have ever seen, with one heck of a superiority complex.

As someone what was in a popular fraternity at a rich southern school, I’d call the anti-Greek people entirely rational. My experience of Greek life was that it was abusive, exclusionary, sexually predatory, racist, and dangerously drug and alcohol fueled. I have no problem with people judging Greek organizations.

So with your two posts you have made PP's point. You are anti-Greek, judgmental and one heck of a superiority complex. Got it.

And here’s the gaslighting I mentioned. I say “I experienced racist, criminal, sexually predatory behavior.” PP responds “You have a superiority complex.”

Thanks for proving my point.

I'm not the PP and I don't really understand their point, BUT just putting rich, entitled boys together in a house is going to lead to what you describe. Could the lacrosse team, or the rowing club, or just randomly at a bar. Unfortunately these things happen on college campuses. Sad but true. Girls, keep your wits about you no matter where you are, its not just in the frat house that you may be exposed to this.