Issue with friend's toddler

[Anonymous]

DH, DS, and I went to the park today with another friend, her husband, and their toddler. Unbeknownst to me, my friend's toddler took my keys out of our diaper bag (it was sitting in the stroller) and was playing with them. DH took them away from her once and put them in the stroller basket. He said he saw her with them again, but didn't take them because he was chasing after our DS and the toddler was close by the other adults, so he assumed we had noticed. I did not.

Once I got home, I realized the keys are lost. This was when DH told me that our friends toddler had been playing with them and told me that he thought I had seen her doing so. The key chain held my house keys as well as two car keys (the kind with the fob for the alarm and unlocking the door). This means it will be expensive to replace the keys, as well as a hassle.

When I called my friend to ask if she knew where the keys are, she said they didn't. She said her toddler had put them back in the diaper bag, and said maybe they had fallen out later. I'm pretty annoyed -- the toddler shouldn't have had the keys in the first place, and the idea that since the toddler put them away, it completely absolves the parents for any responsibility for the keys seems a little ridiculous. First, the toddler had already taken the keys from the bag twice; it's not a stretch that she might have done it again. Second, I don't have a lot of confidence in the idea that a toddler would have put the keys away such that they were secure and would not fall out. And third, the fact of the matter is that her daughter was the last person to have them and now they're missing. My friend's attitude seems to be "I don't know where they are; I don't know what you want me to do about it." When I asked to her to go to the park to help look tomorrow she said "If I have time."

It's not that I expect her to immediately run out and find they keys, but I do feel like she and her husband should take some responsibility for the fact that they're missing. Is that out of line? How would you handle this?

[Anonymous]

I can understand why your annoyed. I once missed a flight b/c my DC was playing with my keys and they got lost. Since your DH saw the toddler with the keys and yet did nothing about it, you should suck it up. In this case, the last ADULT who saw the keys but did nothing is at fault not the toddler.

[Anonymous]

Not trying to be snarky, but if the toddler had already taken the keys twice, why didn't your DH move the diaper bag out of reach or put the keys in his pocket?

[Anonymous]

You should take a better care of your stuff.

Like her toddler took it any other child could have grabbed it after your DH put it in the basket.

BTW, aren't you sure it didn't fall from the basket when you folded the stroller?

[Anonymous]

It's circumstantial evidence to accuse your friends' toddler of taking your keys.

I'm surprised your friend isn't pissed at you for the accusation. And she certainly has no obligation to help you look for them at the park tomorrow.

I'd be more annoyed at your DH for not following through that the keys were put back since he was the last one to see them and he should've followed through with making sure the keys were put back.

[Anonymous]

To clarify, my friend saw her toddler with the keys AFTER DH did. So he wasn't the last adult to see her with them.

Also, DH didn't take them from her at the time because he was chasing after our own toddler who was running toward a ledge nearby. So because DH was watching both and they weren't watching even just their own, we're on the hook?

I definitely agree that DH should have done more and I'm annoyed that he didn't. But I also feel like the toddler's parents should have done more -- I mean, in the end, we're responsible for our kids. Second, what really annoys me is that the parents seem completely unwilling to entertain even the possibility that the keys might be lost because their kid was playing with them, and therefore, they have any responsibility for the fact that they're lost.

Replacing them is going to cost literally hundreds of dollars.

[Anonymous]

Like pp said. You should take better care of your stuff. If you keep your keys where anyone including little ones still in diapers can reach in and grab them... And they have repeatedly done so but you still kept them there, well, it's your fault that your keys are missing. Stop blaming the baby.

[Anonymous]

They are responsible for their kid, but YOU are responsible for your items that are left within easy reach. After their kid grabbed the keys once, they should have been moved someplace else.

[Anonymous]

Toddlers love keys so putting keys repeatedly in a place where the toddler has access to them is asking for disaster. Sorry Op - it would have been nice if the friend was a little more willing to help find them but this is your fault not the toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Toddlers are toddlers.

DH is an adult who could have prevented this but did not. He let the child play with the keys without considering the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers are toddlers.

DH is an adult who could have prevented this but did not. He let the child play with the keys without considering the consequences.

How is the DH more responsible than the toddler's parents (who also saw the toddler with the keys)?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- You should have known better. Keys go in pockets, especially when you saw the toddler playing with the keys TWICE.

[Anonymous]

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

[Anonymous]

Always put keys in your pockets-jacket,pants on you not hanging on the stroller. If they can be found little ones will find them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers are toddlers.

DH is an adult who could have prevented this but did not. He let the child play with the keys without considering the consequences.

How is the DH more responsible than the toddler's parents (who also saw the toddler with the keys)?

Because her DH saw the toddler playing with these (expensive, difficult to replace) keys, took them from the kid, and put them BACK IN THE BAG SHE HAD TAKEN THEM FROM. That is a stupid move. Then he proceeded to go play with the kids without even mentioning, "Hey, X was playing with the keys. Can you guys watch the bag more carefully?"

Sorry, OP, but either these keys are precious and irreplaceable and you should keep them under heavy surveillance, or they are no big deal, and you should just throw them back in the bag without taking any particular precautions to see that they will stay there.

I think the real issue is that you are pissed that you have this extra work/expense and looking to blame someone, and that you already have a problem with your "friend." ("We were watching both kids and they weren't watching even their own?" Yeah, that's a preexisting issue.)