SIL will never host another family Christmas Eve party.

[Anonymous]

Tell me if I am just expecting too much. SIL demanded to host the party this year because she and her DH bought a huge new house and she wanted to show it off. I or my MIL have always hosted in the past, and while we do different things, our parties are always enjoyed by everyone.

15 adults came to the party and five kids. SIL served a hunk of dried out meat. I think it was a turkey roll. There was two side dishes. Both were from Costco. No appetizers, no drinks, and no coffee. Dessert was a tub of vanilla ice-cream with a scoop in it and crushed candy canes to top. We were not allowed to eat anywhere but in the kitchen. And in order to go into the living room, we had to take off our shoes. The temp in the house was 58 degrees, and she has hard wood floors. The children were made to stay in the back of the kitchen and play with dollar store toys, which was actually the only thoughtful thing she did. (providing toys) She had a tub of bottled water on the floor of the kitchen and this was the only beverage offered. We brought wine and my ILs brought soda and beer, and our contributions were wisked away to the pantry. When my DH asked about the wine his sister said that she didn't need any wine spills. She said she would give it back to us when we left! Of course she didn't. We tried in vain the week before to talk SIL into allowing us to bring side dishes, but she refused saying that she wanted to treat us all to dinner. We won't make this mistake again.

[Anonymous]

Wow! Your SIL certainly knows how to throw a memorable party. I'd be declining future party invitations, too, if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Wow! just wow!

[Anonymous]

Well, Merry Christmas to you! What a memorable party! I guess buying the big home cut into the food budget. I hope everyone learned a lesson for next year. Sorry you had such a terrible party. There is always next year. Just scratch it off as a lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be going back either. Just curious - who's brother is she married to and where was he in all of this?

[Anonymous]

When no one shows up next year, maybe she'll learn how to be a hostess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When no one shows up next year, maybe she'll learn how to be a hostess!

Next time she demands to host a party, hold an alternate party at your house. She'll get the message when nobody shows up at her house. I'd be sure to write her a thank you note mentioning how much you enjoyed the overdone meat, the 58 degrees and how nice it was that you chose to wear your thermal undies, etc. She sounds dreadful. I hope yesterday was a good time and Happy New Year.

[Anonymous]

LOL .. the hostess with the mostess!

[Anonymous]

I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here, but...so what if it was a rotten party? Laugh it off and pat yourself on the back for being a supremely superior hostess. People have different standards. I hope you at least faked graciousness while you were there.

[Anonymous]

One can host a party without much food and fanfare, but to insist on hosting while worrying about anything getting dirty is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here, but...so what if it was a rotten party? Laugh it off and pat yourself on the back for being a supremely superior hostess. People have different standards. I hope you at least faked graciousness while you were there.

And there she is!!! Glad to see you old bird!!

[Anonymous]

She probably won't invite you back next year. She has done her duty and has had a chance to show off her new house. If she does invite you back, you and your MIL should take some hearty side dishes and insist you are just helping. Then when she tries to stick them in the refrigerator or freezer, let her know that they are perishable and have to be eaten that evening. Do the same with wine. Just bring white wine, open it and begin to drink. You probably were taken by surprise this year, but next year just have a party despite her. Happy New Year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here, but...so what if it was a rotten party? Laugh it off and pat yourself on the back for being a supremely superior hostess. People have different standards. I hope you at least faked graciousness while you were there.

And there she is!!! Glad to see you old bird!!

Neither old nor fowl, but thanks.

I just hosted two holiday gatherings at which I served copious amounts of food and drink (apps and booze included), kept the house at a nice toasty temperature, made no demands as to removal of footwear or allowable zones for food consumption, and made sure all guests had a wonderful time. But had I instead attended a different party at which the hostess clearly had a different idea of appropriate entertaining, there is no way I could possibly have worked myself into the lather that OP has done. So it was a crappy party. Have a sense of humor about it and move on!

I suspect that OP is irritated that she didn't get to host the party and is jealous of SIL's shiny new house. I suggest she get over that as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here, but...so what if it was a rotten party? Laugh it off and pat yourself on the back for being a supremely superior hostess. People have different standards. I hope you at least faked graciousness while you were there.

And there she is!!! Glad to see you old bird!!

Neither old nor fowl, but thanks.

I just hosted two holiday gatherings at which I served copious amounts of food and drink (apps and booze included), kept the house at a nice toasty temperature, made no demands as to removal of footwear or allowable zones for food consumption, and made sure all guests had a wonderful time. But had I instead attended a different party at which the hostess clearly had a different idea of appropriate entertaining, there is no way I could possibly have worked myself into the lather that OP has done. So it was a crappy party. Have a sense of humor about it and move on!

I suspect that OP is irritated that she didn't get to host the party and is jealous of SIL's shiny new house. I suggest she get over that as well.

Yes PP, I realize my jealousy has gotten out of control. I will get help immediately. Thank you for the attitude adjustment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here, but...so what if it was a rotten party? Laugh it off and pat yourself on the back for being a supremely superior hostess. People have different standards. I hope you at least faked graciousness while you were there.

I'm with this poster. Yes, she might not be a great hostess. Yes, the party was probably not enjoyable for OP. But you're not voting on whether or not she should be included on the social register or gets to be part of the in-group in middle school. She's a member of the family, and it's really low of people to suggest hosting an alternate party or refusing to attend. Let the party alternate households, and when it's in her territory, suck it up and attend with a smile on your face. You can always eat beforehand and keep your attendance short.