SIL will never host another family Christmas Eve party.

[Anonymous]

You didn't like her much beforehand, and it seems this just confirmed it. The situation seems like something that could be okay/tolerable *if you liked the people*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:O.P. here, just to add because someone said it would make it easier to understand my issues, She is my DH's sister. She is half Indian, half white. She was raised by gracious, kind, wealthy parents. She is beautiful.

Sounds messed up
Run from the family and your man

[Anonymous]

I don't blame OP for being resentful. Because SIL insisted on hosting OP missed out on what is normally an enjoyable holiday evening.

OP I think you should host a NYE party or a Three Kings Day party or whatever and do it right!!!

[Anonymous]

wait. first she insists on having the party and having you all over - and then she dreads you being there? And how do you know she throws great parties for her friends? If she tells you so - maybe she thought this party was "fabulous" too?

I get where you're coming from. I'd be pissed if I felt like the hostess didn't put effort into it, but maybe she thought she did - clearly you have issues with her from before this party.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds truly pathetic (almost LOL when reding your post.) Did you eat "dinner" when you got home from SIL's shindig?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need more info the hostess before I judge. Age, race, religion, income, job, cost of house, etc. I'm mostly sympathetic to her but the part about not allowing the wine and then not giving the wine back is a bit much. I'm hoping that part was a lie.

Why should race factor in?

But religion and age are ok? Typical to get yourself in a wad over race, but fuck religion and age. I can totally picture you DC Urban Mom.

[Anonymous]

I wrote the "SIL's perspective" post and even after reading OP's response I still think she's being kind of cunty. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

12.46 here.

I meant that SIL's dinner was pathetc. Not you. Rereading my post, and it was not clear, imo. I am team OP on this one!

[Anonymous]

My inlaws recently hosted our family of 4 and another guest (a friend of theirs) for dinner, arranged many days in advance. They have a massive 5br McMansion with a kitchen as big as the first floor of my row house. Eye-stinging amounts of granite up the walls and on the counters and island. (Already looks dated, 3 yrs old). They served salad from a bag with a bottle of Ken's Steakhouse dressing on the side, and the entree was Chickfilet tenders, ordered and picked up. We ate this with wine and candlelight.

Some people just don't/can't cook. All meals are like this at my IL's, despite the chef's kitchen. All about the resale I guess.

[Anonymous]

OP - i am with you! and got similarly flamed when i posted about getting invited to a holiday party where slices of turkey were served alongside a bag of bread and a bag of salad. my take is that a lot ofdcum actually doesn't know to entertain properly.

i'm kind if surprised she's half indian: south asians usually throw great parties with tons of food!

[Anonymous]

reminds me of my ex-bil's thxgiving parties, except it's missing massive dogs underfoot

[Anonymous]

OP, you say that your or your MIL always host. So what if she "demanded" to host for a year? Why should she have to "demand" it if you and your MIL have already taken your turns doing it our way in your own homes? I'm surprised that anyone would be so rude as to not offer other relatives the opportunity to host holiday meals. That's especially true if they're happy about a new house they bought. My DH and I were very excited when we bought our current house, and we wanted to start making family memories here as soon as we could.

Also, is it possible that your brother wanted to have a holiday meal with his family at his new house? Perhaps his wife agreed to do it even though she really doesn't like the family and wasn't all that into it? I could see my DH wanting us to host even if we weren't prepared or if I had a lot going on at the time and simply didn't want to take the time. Are you sure you're not blaming her for something that was your brother's responsibility or idea?

From your description, your SIL sounds wacky, but frankly so do you a bit. Maybe you just don't like each other, which is fine. But to rag on someone's holiday party to this extent and to decree that "SIL will never host another family Christmas Even party" seems really extreme and silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say that your or your MIL always host. So what if she "demanded" to host for a year? Why should she have to "demand" it if you and your MIL have already taken your turns doing it our way in your own homes? I'm surprised that anyone would be so rude as to not offer other relatives the opportunity to host holiday meals. That's especially true if they're happy about a new house they bought. My DH and I were very excited when we bought our current house, and we wanted to start making family memories here as soon as we could.

Also, is it possible that your brother wanted to have a holiday meal with his family at his new house? Perhaps his wife agreed to do it even though she really doesn't like the family and wasn't all that into it? I could see my DH wanting us to host even if we weren't prepared or if I had a lot going on at the time and simply didn't want to take the time. Are you sure you're not blaming her for something that was your brother's responsibility or idea?

From your description, your SIL sounds wacky, but frankly so do you a bit. Maybe you just don't like each other, which is fine. But to rag on someone's holiday party to this extent and to decree that "SIL will never host another family Christmas Even party" seems really extreme and silly.

Amen.

And I think the OP sounds way of base. I bet she and mommy are a real pair. I feel sorry for SIL marrying into this crazy family.

[Anonymous]

Ok, we get it--she threw a shitty party, and most expected her to be colored because of it. Moving on...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say that your or your MIL always host. So what if she "demanded" to host for a year? Why should she have to "demand" it if you and your MIL have already taken your turns doing it our way in your own homes? I'm surprised that anyone would be so rude as to not offer other relatives the opportunity to host holiday meals. That's especially true if they're happy about a new house they bought. My DH and I were very excited when we bought our current house, and we wanted to start making family memories here as soon as we could.

Also, is it possible that your brother wanted to have a holiday meal with his family at his new house? Perhaps his wife agreed to do it even though she really doesn't like the family and wasn't all that into it? I could see my DH wanting us to host even if we weren't prepared or if I had a lot going on at the time and simply didn't want to take the time. Are you sure you're not blaming her for something that was your brother's responsibility or idea?

From your description, your SIL sounds wacky, but frankly so do you a bit. Maybe you just don't like each other, which is fine. But to rag on someone's holiday party to this extent and to decree that "SIL will never host another family Christmas Even party" seems really extreme and silly.

This! It's funny that OP assumes its the SIL. There have been a few parties where DH insisted we host his family (that I don't particularly care for) and usually when there was a crap-load of things I needed to get done. I told him "Fine, but you do the party planning - I can't do any of it" and I meant it. I left it up to him and let me tell you - a bag of salad sounds WAY more classy than what my DH did to prepare for these parties. I'm sure his mother and sister both talked about ME planning a horrible party - but I don't care - DH insisted and would always say "it's no big deal, let's have them over" so I'd just let him do everything. I definitely saw some eyerolls those evenings.

OP how do you know the same thing didn't happen this time (and BTW, if I decided to have a party for our friends, or it was a joint decision - those parties would be way more fabulous because I'd be doing the prepping)