My high stats kid running out of steam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Eye opening to see what “help” looks like in some families. I would say we are helping our son quite a bit. But it pales in comparison to what some are sharing on here.

We talked to him about building a college list starting junior year and took him to visit places. We signed him up for his school’s 2 day college workshop in the summer even though he didn’t want to deal with it. The workshop got him thinking about ideas for his essays and we helped with brainstorming and then reading his essay and providing feedback. Once he got started, it was fairly easy for him in the common app (which the school workshop helped him start filling out) to keep track of what needed to be done for which school. He is writing his supplemental essays in the same way as his main essay. We are going out to lunch as a family and brainstorming ideas. He is then writing the essays and then asking for us to review.

I consider that a ton of support and am happy to provide it to him. But if you are basically writing the application for your kid, do you ever worry that your kid is not ready to manage their stuff in college when you aren’t there?

My kid is also in fall sports and taking a bunch of APs. Not saying it’s great and the college app process is stressful. But he is owning the process with a lot of support where he asks for it and lots of love like making dinners he likes etc on hard days.

You are all but writing the essays for your son! That is an extraordinary level of involvement and help.

I would say you are helping more than 99% of the families and you are the one complaining about this?

Re-read. She is helping brainstorm. Which is the role admissions office suggest for parents.

She explicitly said she is not writing and even suggested parents who do that may have a child not ready for college. Perhaps that’s you & it touched a nerve!!

Sorry. I am just a bit tired from all the essays I wrote for my kid.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough crowd. We ask a lot of these kids - far more than was asked of at my high school that sent about half the kids to top 20 schools. Your kids will find college to be a cakewalk after this. I don’t judge any approach. Sorry if Suzie Q isn’t doing research on why she absolutely go to x college on her own. It’s a dumb question for colleges to ask anyway as if an 18 year old really knows. Good luck to all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same here and I have twins! Both have yet to decide ED choice although they have made progress on supplementals for there multiple possibilities. However, there are two weekends left - your DS can do it. I’d lay out the calendar for him and ask him to tell you what he needs help with. For mine it was adding due dates, interview (y/n), video to a spreadsheet.

Mine also have a long list of schools they want to EA to and hopefully they make the Nov deadline so they can finish those off but honestly, if they don’t make it there is still RD. Many kids do get in Reg Decision (and then can take their pick and consider merit aid).

Strongly advise twins to ED to same school. Schools like twins.

[Anonymous]

The essays are an absurd exercise in creative writing under pressure, just a contrived hoop to jump through. Then there’s the irony of “test-optional” policies. The schools pat themselves on the back for flexibility there, yet they mandate these elaborate, anecdotal BS essays that put kids at a disadvantage if they’re natural procrastinators or simply not strong writers. It’s got to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Eye opening to see what “help” looks like in some families. I would say we are helping our son quite a bit. But it pales in comparison to what some are sharing on here.

We talked to him about building a college list starting junior year and took him to visit places. We signed him up for his school’s 2 day college workshop in the summer even though he didn’t want to deal with it. The workshop got him thinking about ideas for his essays and we helped with brainstorming and then reading his essay and providing feedback. Once he got started, it was fairly easy for him in the common app (which the school workshop helped him start filling out) to keep track of what needed to be done for which school. He is writing his supplemental essays in the same way as his main essay. We are going out to lunch as a family and brainstorming ideas. He is then writing the essays and then asking for us to review.

I consider that a ton of support and am happy to provide it to him. But if you are basically writing the application for your kid, do you ever worry that your kid is not ready to manage their stuff in college when you aren’t there?

My kid is also in fall sports and taking a bunch of APs. Not saying it’s great and the college app process is stressful. But he is owning the process with a lot of support where he asks for it and lots of love like making dinners he likes etc on hard days.

You are all but writing the essays for your son! That is an extraordinary level of involvement and help.

I would say you are helping more than 99% of the families and you are the one complaining about this?

Re-read. She is helping brainstorm. Which is the role admissions office suggest for parents.

She explicitly said she is not writing and even suggested parents who do that may have a child not ready for college. Perhaps that’s you & it touched a nerve!!

Sorry. I am just a bit tired from all the essays I wrote for my kid.

🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

A woman I worked with shared that she wrote her sons’ college essays in the 90s because they both sucked at writing. Her one son is now a highly respected, competitively trained surgeon. He was made for medicine but was never a writer so it would have been a loss if a poorly written essay had messed up his path to the right college. His brother got his MBA from Columbia University after graduating. Obvi, their long term potential wasn’t defined by their ability to craft the perfect personal statement.

I say ignore the judgment on this board about helping your kids. If your child needs support in their applications, step in. Dont let a single essay overshadow their other accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough crowd. We ask a lot of these kids - far more than was asked of at my high school that sent about half the kids to top 20 schools. Your kids will find college to be a cakewalk after this. I don’t judge any approach. Sorry if Suzie Q isn’t doing research on why she absolutely go to x college on her own. It’s a dumb question for colleges to ask anyway as if an 18 year old really knows. Good luck to all.

Best answer.
💯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough crowd. We ask a lot of these kids - far more than was asked of at my high school that sent about half the kids to top 20 schools. Your kids will find college to be a cakewalk after this. I don’t judge any approach. Sorry if Suzie Q isn’t doing research on why she absolutely go to x college on her own. It’s a dumb question for colleges to ask anyway as if an 18 year old really knows. Good luck to all.

Lots of stressed, overinvolved moms trying to justify during their adult or near adult kids work for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman I worked with shared that she wrote her sons’ college essays in the 90s because they both sucked at writing. Her one son is now a highly respected, competitively trained surgeon. He was made for medicine but was never a writer so it would have been a loss if a poorly written essay had messed up his path to the right college. His brother got his MBA from Columbia University after graduating. Obvi, their long term potential wasn’t defined by their ability to craft the perfect personal statement.

I say ignore the judgment on this board about helping your kids. If your child needs support in their applications, step in. Dont let a single essay overshadow their other accomplishments.

So gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman I worked with shared that she wrote her sons’ college essays in the 90s because they both sucked at writing. Her one son is now a highly respected, competitively trained surgeon. He was made for medicine but was never a writer so it would have been a loss if a poorly written essay had messed up his path to the right college. His brother got his MBA from Columbia University after graduating. Obvi, their long term potential wasn’t defined by their ability to craft the perfect personal statement.

I say ignore the judgment on this board about helping your kids. If your child needs support in their applications, step in. Dont let a single essay overshadow their other accomplishments.

There are lots of very successful people with sh*tty value systems learned in childhood, it’s true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The essays are an absurd exercise in creative writing under pressure, just a contrived hoop to jump through. Then there’s the irony of “test-optional” policies. The schools pat themselves on the back for flexibility there, yet they mandate these elaborate, anecdotal BS essays that put kids at a disadvantage if they’re natural procrastinators or simply not strong writers. It’s got to change.

Why would even a remotely competitive school want “natural procrastinators” and “not strong writers” who can’t get it together when it counts? Doesn’t sound like a winning combo.

[Anonymous]

My kid is out of steam too. We are submitting the rest of her 4 early applications today. One of them is ED and we chose a realistic one not a crazy reach so we are praying we are done by Christmas. If not we will throw in some more apps over winter break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is out of steam too. We are submitting the rest of her 4 early applications today. One of them is ED and we chose a realistic one not a crazy reach so we are praying we are done by Christmas. If not we will throw in some more apps over winter break.

Same here!! Good luck to both our kids (and us)!

This time around I had a more: just get them in ! So we can be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The essays are an absurd exercise in creative writing under pressure, just a contrived hoop to jump through. Then there’s the irony of “test-optional” policies. The schools pat themselves on the back for flexibility there, yet they mandate these elaborate, anecdotal BS essays that put kids at a disadvantage if they’re natural procrastinators or simply not strong writers. It’s got to change.

Why would even a remotely competitive school want “natural procrastinators” and “not strong writers” who can’t get it together when it counts? Doesn’t sound like a winning combo.

Because they want the adhd genius kids to go for a year, drop out and become billionaires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its a race to nowhere. No wait, its a race to see who can play the game.

It is, and with the industry that’s popped up around it, there are a whole lot of suckers getting swindled.

Hand-in-hand with travel sports. People preying on parents’ insecurities and attempts to live through their kids.

+100