More than one poster failed to detect your sarcasm. Maybe you shouldn't attempt it in the future. |
NP here. I am a black woman who adopted a child on my own in my late 30s. Have I been stereotyped as a welfare mom a few times in the past ten years? Sure, and it sucked (especially because i was certain I earned more money than the people making that judgment about me). But, I have also had ten years of parenting an absolutely wonderful child. If you truly want to parent a child, please don't let other people's opinions keep you from doing it. |
|
I'll play. I have never been the kind of person who wanted a child or children because other people want them or because of status or cutesy things.
I've always seen it as a serious endeavor and a sacrifice. I have put it off because I didn't want to do it without giving my full attention to it. I also didn't want to raise a child with the kind of financial stress I grew up having. I always worried about childcare. I am not willing to quit my job, because I have seen how women have become trapped in bad situations because of financial dependence. But I was concerned I wouldn't be able to find affordable, quality childcare. So I put it off. I probably put it off too long, and now it seems like it won't happen without intervention (IVF). But, for many reasons, my husband and I will not go down that road. My choice has never been about me. It has never been an issue of "I want" or "I don't want." It has been an issue of not taking on the serious task of creating and raising another human being unless and until I was certain that I could do it well and not repeat the mistakes of my own parents or not subject the child to the kind of stress I experienced as a child. And logistics. Logistics have always been at the forefront of my mind. |
|
I won't have kids until this country gets serious with "family friendly" policies - mandatory sick leave and vacation time, mandatory maternity leave, affordable childcare, universal pre-K, affordable and high quality colleges, etc.
We are DINKs but seriously thinking of pursuing opportunities in other countries that actually value children and parents. |
See ya! Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, loser. Worth noting -- those countries with supposedly "family friendly" policies have EVEN LOWER fertility rates than the USA. So "family friendly" policies... aren't. |
Are you waiting on perfection in all the other areas of your life as well? |
I agree with you!!! I'm in Loudoun county an don't even have full day K. |
I'm not the PP, but I don't think of mandatory paid maternity leave as perfection. I think of it as something that every country has except the US, Swaziland, Lesotho, and Papua New Guinea. |
I agree that this country needs to be more family friendly, but if everyone in this country thought the same as you we'd have no births. We'd have to rely 100% on immigrants to support us in our old age, and we all know how popular that is. You're lucky that not everyone thinks like you. There is never a good time to have kids. As long as you are financially stable and healthy, that's the best time to have a kid. |
Yes. It's not a high bar. |
I'm trying to understand what your point is here. The other countries have adopted "family friendly" policies in reaction to declining birth rates. Birth rates among non-Hispanic white women in the U.S. are only 1.75 and shrinking. This is well below Norway, Sweden, Iceland, and the UK.
The fact of the matter is that in the U.S., we import our population growth. We take in poor immigrants and they have lots of kids to support the older generations of Americans. We did that with the Irish and the Italians. Now we are doing it with Latino immigrants. |
This times a million. A product of an extreme childhood and I swore I would never repeat the cycle. If I end up permanently without children it is because I chose to spare them what I went through. It is the most selfless act I could have ever given my children. |
Here's a novel idea. Support your own damn self in old age! |
|
I find it hilarious that people who insist on reproducing their own DNA and adding more mouths to an already overcrowded planet call ME selfish for not joining in.
|
All well and good until you can't remember your name, let alone how to dress and feed yourself. You may have all the money in the world, but without anyone to check that your diaper is actually getting changed (by that immigrant in their 20's who someone took the time to birth and raise)….well, as long as you are willing to take that risk know that your money only protects you to a degree. Just remember, (while you still have a memory), some one, some actual physical person, is going to be taking care of you, performing your surgery, handing you your pills, and they probably aren't going to be your age, if your life ends the way most do these days. And no amount of money in the world will change that. So before you get SO superior that all breeders are disgusting selfish fucks, maybe remember that without anyone breeding, our economy will collapse and so will your care before you die. |