Why are white people all around the world not having kids?

[Anonymous]

Well, let's see, I know at least 5 families just off the top of my head with live in grandparent help. I'm sure I could think of more.

And my niece and nephew live at my IL's house, so they are pretty heavily involved in the care for their grand kids. They aren't in DC area, and it wasn't entirely their choice, but that is their reality.

I know my aunt had my grandmother do a lot of care for her kids while they were young.

I also know a couple situations where children have been partially to completely raised by grandparents.

I get that it is more common/expected in other countries, but you're wrong to say it doesn't happen here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally know two families where 'white' grandma does school pick-ups, homework, etc. And another family where white grandpa who does this too! My Mom is always cooking, playing with kids, running errands for me when she visits. Is that unusual?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if their physical needs are cared for, they lack individual attention from their parents. Human weren't meant to be raised in herds.

A herd of 4?

Other things humans weren't meant to: wear shoes, get braces, drive cars, eat ice cream, fly to Paris on an airplane to propose on bended knee beneath the Eiffel Tower. None of those things happened in the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness.

No kid who's one of four gets the amount of interaction and attention that my 2 get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Why the fuck did you people buy a home with a mortgage near $4500/month?

That's your first problem.

Because we can.

Well then, you decided this was more of a priority than having kids, which is what PP posters were saying.

I can afford both but I don't want to waste the money on kids.

Rather spend money on trips and cars and a mansion?

I'm not the PP, but why not?

Do any of those things have any lasting value at all?

Who says they have to?

Besides, nothing has any lasting value, in the long run. In the long run, we're all dead.

I couldn't disagree more. If I thought nothing had any lasting value, I would be hopeless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No having family around to help is a huge obstacle to having kids. We raised DC alone and DH traveled and it was super hard. Can't afford a nanny. MIL didn't help at all. She expected social visits from us, but never came over to do the dirty work.

That's the main difference I see between my native country and the states. Where I'm from grandparents don't just visit, they work. They pick up kids from school, take them to activities, cook and clean, help them with homework. Basically replacing parents. Parents work long hours while they know kids are well taken care of.

Here I haven't seen this done by American grandparents. Ever. Only when kids visit them, but never day to day. It's a sacrifice, and I suppose Americans are selfish and don't want to make sacrifices.

My parents never had help raising us. They need to enjoy their old age, not continue to work to help their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well it's interesting because IME wealthy people, or at least UMC people, are having larger families again. "Three is the new two" and all that.

Mmmhmm. In the trust fund set three is a minimum. Why not when we can afford them?

I'm UMC and stopped at two because I wanted to do something else in my 30s and 40s besides parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the fuck did you people buy a home with a mortgage near $4500/month?

That's your first problem.

Because we can.

Well then, you decided this was more of a priority than having kids, which is what PP posters were saying.

I can afford both but I don't want to waste the money on kids.

Rather spend money on trips and cars and a mansion?

Trips, savings, and a historic home, yes.

Thanks for your honesty. Just out of curiosity, who gets the historic home when you die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So, while YOU may not have seen it, it is there.

Really? How many kids do you know whose grandparents pick them up from school every school day, make them lunch, take them to extra-curriculum classes, supervise them at home and cook dinner, help clean up?

I know 0. In the states.

I know 3, in my little NoVA suburb alone. Maybe you should get out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if their physical needs are cared for, they lack individual attention from their parents. Human weren't meant to be raised in herds.

A herd of 4?

Other things humans weren't meant to: wear shoes, get braces, drive cars, eat ice cream, fly to Paris on an airplane to propose on bended knee beneath the Eiffel Tower. None of those things happened in the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness.

No kid who's one of four gets the amount of interaction and attention that my 2 get.

No kid who's one of two gets the amount of interaction and attention that my only child gets -- right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if their physical needs are cared for, they lack individual attention from their parents. Human weren't meant to be raised in herds.

A herd of 4?

Other things humans weren't meant to: wear shoes, get braces, drive cars, eat ice cream, fly to Paris on an airplane to propose on bended knee beneath the Eiffel Tower. None of those things happened in the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness.

No kid who's one of four gets the amount of interaction and attention that my 2 get.

Nah. When yours are fighting and not getting alone so sulking in their room mine always have alternative playmates. Never lonely for a moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if their physical needs are cared for, they lack individual attention from their parents. Human weren't meant to be raised in herds.

A herd of 4?

Other things humans weren't meant to: wear shoes, get braces, drive cars, eat ice cream, fly to Paris on an airplane to propose on bended knee beneath the Eiffel Tower. None of those things happened in the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness.

No kid who's one of four gets the amount of interaction and attention that my 2 get.

Nah. When yours are fighting and not getting alone so sulking in their room mine always have alternative playmates. Never lonely for a moment.

Oh really? Your 10 year old boy always wants to play with the 4 year old girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if their physical needs are cared for, they lack individual attention from their parents. Human weren't meant to be raised in herds.

A herd of 4?

Other things humans weren't meant to: wear shoes, get braces, drive cars, eat ice cream, fly to Paris on an airplane to propose on bended knee beneath the Eiffel Tower. None of those things happened in the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness.

No kid who's one of four gets the amount of interaction and attention that my 2 get.

Nah. When yours are fighting and not getting alone so sulking in their room mine always have alternative playmates. Never lonely for a moment.

Oh really? Your 10 year old boy always wants to play with the 4 year old girl?

I don't have a 10 year old boy and 4 year old girl. Mine are a lot closer together, so it works well. Had a set of twins in there, so 4 kids in 7 years. But really, are your 10 year old boy and 4 year old girl interacting and "attentioning" all that often? Do you hover over them or something, for them to get as much attention as you claim? Poor dears.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks the title of this thread is racist?

Especially considering the posters who have pointed out that birth rates are declining around the world in places as diverse as China, Japan, Korea and Mexico, as well as across the African Continent ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if their physical needs are cared for, they lack individual attention from their parents. Human weren't meant to be raised in herds.

A herd of 4?

Other things humans weren't meant to: wear shoes, get braces, drive cars, eat ice cream, fly to Paris on an airplane to propose on bended knee beneath the Eiffel Tower. None of those things happened in the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness.

No kid who's one of four gets the amount of interaction and attention that my 2 get.

Nah. When yours are fighting and not getting alone so sulking in their room mine always have alternative playmates. Never lonely for a moment.

Oh really? Your 10 year old boy always wants to play with the 4 year old girl?

I don't have a 10 year old boy and 4 year old girl. Mine are a lot closer together, so it works well. Had a set of twins in there, so 4 kids in 7 years. But really, are your 10 year old boy and 4 year old girl interacting and "attentioning" all that often? Do you hover over them or something, for them to get as much attention as you claim? Poor dears.

Breeder

[Anonymous]

As pointed out, it's quite common in the trust fund set. When you enjoy parenting and can afford all the help you need, stay at home with your kids, have family nearby etc, it's really enjoyable. If it's not for you, great! I wouldn't go around calling you "barren" or something. To each their own.