single income family/ SAHM major disadvantage

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also SAHM have huge 401ks sometimes. Remember the stock market used to be cheap. There is a saying the money you put in stock market 21-35 will be bigger than money you put in 35-65. Mainly because of compounding.

My wife is a SAHM since January 2001 when the Dow was 9,900, today it is around 49,000. When she started working it was 1,800. This means SAHMs all will have six figure 401ks by retirement on their own.

Their husbands well compounding is a crazy thing. You are lucky to have at most twice their balance.

Todays SAHMs who are younger may have joined work force in 2003 and quit in 2019 got a ton of stock dirt cheap during post 9/11 and the great recession in 2008/2009 era it was as low as 6,500.

lol no your crappy 401 balance of a woman who hasn't worked in 25 years is not part of the financial picture. If it is that much of your household wealth, you probably shouldn't have gone down to one income.

Heard of compounding, moron?

If they aren’t contributing then it isn’t going to grow that much. Over 25 years it probably went up by something like 5x to 7x and if they only briefly worked they probably didn’t have a very large balance to begin with.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a gen z son, recent college grad who landed a great job, but lives at home while he invests al his income he would otherwise spend on housing/commute/ utilities (we live 2 miles from his job). He is adamant that he only marries someone who put their education to work and earns an income. I think this generation (z) is acutely aware that it’s unrealistic in today’s economy to not have all hands on deck when raising a family.

I understand this attitude and largely agree with it, but I also think a lot of ambitious young people do not (and literally cannot) understand how significantly an infant/toddler will upend one’s working life and how differential these impacts are for women vs. men. Most modern workplace are still extremely hostile to breastfeeding and recovering new mothers.

I have a friend who was in a dual income household until they had their second kid - she was working in a rundown hospital, shuttling kids to and from daycares, lugging and rinsing out pumping equipment to use in a dark office room with a door that didn’t adequately lock, etc. After many open discussions she and her husband mutually agreed to her staying home for the next few years and then reevaluating later. She is much happier now. I wouldn’t want to be with a partner who rigidly demanded that I stay at an untenable job - I think it just has to be an ongoing open conversation and both parties have to be transparent and respectful of each other’s contributions.

How pathetic. Instead of stepping up to do more around the home and with childcare, he told her to quit her job and do everything? F***ing yikes.

That is not the story. They were both stepping up around the house; her job was rigid and unforgiving about her needing to pump breast milk, needing more flexible hours, etc.

I’m not saying it’s fair that women are the ones who often end up being semi-forced out (though in this case they both agreed to this arrangement); I’m just saying, it’s easy to think you’ll be able to keep going full throttle at a career post-kids until you actually are living it, and it’s important for both parties to be flexible and communicative

My kids are in their 20s now, and my husband and I, along with many (not all) of our friends, went "full throttle" for 21 years while we had kids at home. Yes you have to be flexible and communicative but it's easier than ever for both spouses to do meaningful and lucrative full time work.

I took a break to focus on the kids. Now I have meaningful full time work again. It’s not that big a deal.

I don’t know who decided that there is only one correct way to work and raise a family, but I assure you, there are options.

+1

Do what works best for you and your family. in early 30s, decided to stay at home with first kid. Now mid 50s, spouse is finally retired and I have no plans to return to work. No need to.

I assume your kids are out of the home now so what do you do with your time? Travel a few times a year and random hobbies?

I’m sure she can make PowerPoint presentations, sit in traffic, and attend pointless meetings if she gets bored, PP. Use your imagination.

+1000000

I work full time because I have to but I’ll never understand the posters on this site who insist that without a job they would have no purpose, nothing to do, etc. I guess they have to tell themselves that to keep going to work everyday. I