Men seem eager to be remarried!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

So your wife has to literally die in order for you to step up and do some family mental load stuff?!?

Yikes.

Patriarch is lethal.

This is what happens when you set your chatbot to “maximum troll”.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I meant sickened single 40+ dads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I meant sickened single 40+ dads.

*divorced single 40+ dads

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's weird. I was a single Mom in my 20s. I didn't meet a single divorced Dad under 40. That seems very unusual.

Most men in their 20s and 30s don't want to date single mothers. I stayed far far away from single mothers at that age because I didn't have kids, didn't want to continue someone else's abandoned project, had options (line single women with no kids) and was too busy with work and activities that I was t about to be a father to a kid that isn't mine.

I'm in my forties and still won't date single mothers in their 20s. My kids are either in college or about to be so my life is easy. My kids take care of themselves and drive themselves around or they're away nine months out if the year starting their own life journey. I will and have dated women in their late 20s to mid 30s who don't have kids so I will do that, just not long term as they have no concept of what it's like to be a parent and often can't stand when they're not the primary focus of your attention. I usually tend to stick with women in their late 30s and very early 40s who have older kids.

I'm at a place where I'm financially stable, can retire early and travel a lot and have no debt and a good pot of money we're I can move overseas to Europe or central America and life life in a tropical paradise. Brutal reality for most men in my position is there is very few viable partners who are not full of drama, issues with kids and their ex, not insane and most aren't super attractive. I'm lucky in some respect as I have a steady partner but she lives a considerable distance away who I met through business trips to the area. Hopefully it works out because most of the women in this area are not really people is consider quality partners. As soon as my last kid is out if the house I'm out of here and I'll sell my place, collect a nice profit and can almost outright pay for another place with cash.

So you don’t want to live closer to your kids ? Weird you feel so little connection with them

Interesting passive aggressive takeaway. It seems he loves his kids, but is jaded byunreasonable and unaccountable shrill single moms he’s met that doesn’t want to bankroll anymore or have control his life. Does that makes sense? He’s seen what’s out there locally and it would not be an improvement over his current situation. Understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's weird. I was a single Mom in my 20s. I didn't meet a single divorced Dad under 40. That seems very unusual.

Most men in their 20s and 30s don't want to date single mothers. I stayed far far away from single mothers at that age because I didn't have kids, didn't want to continue someone else's abandoned project, had options (line single women with no kids) and was too busy with work and activities that I was t about to be a father to a kid that isn't mine.

I'm in my forties and still won't date single mothers in their 20s. My kids are either in college or about to be so my life is easy. My kids take care of themselves and drive themselves around or they're away nine months out if the year starting their own life journey. I will and have dated women in their late 20s to mid 30s who don't have kids so I will do that, just not long term as they have no concept of what it's like to be a parent and often can't stand when they're not the primary focus of your attention. I usually tend to stick with women in their late 30s and very early 40s who have older kids.

I'm at a place where I'm financially stable, can retire early and travel a lot and have no debt and a good pot of money we're I can move overseas to Europe or central America and life life in a tropical paradise. Brutal reality for most men in my position is there is very few viable partners who are not full of drama, issues with kids and their ex, not insane and most aren't super attractive. I'm lucky in some respect as I have a steady partner but she lives a considerable distance away who I met through business trips to the area. Hopefully it works out because most of the women in this area are not really people is consider quality partners. As soon as my last kid is out if the house I'm out of here and I'll sell my place, collect a nice profit and can almost outright pay for another place with cash. [/quote

I'm in my early forties, and none of my friends near my age are divorced with "older" kids. My friends had kids between 30 and 40, so none of my friends have kids who are in college or can already drive themselves around. You'd have to date someone in their late forties or older for that lifestyle. It seems that when people are in their late forties, and their kids have launched, they can find like-minded partners to enjoy an early retirement lifestyle, as you've described. Or if you don't want to find someone who is about your age and networth, I suppose anyone who is attractive and wealthy, men or women, can also find an attractive, younger, less well off partner to be a travel companion or partner on your terms if you're willing to financially support them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

Yep, I think this here is why men and women argue about this kind of issue. Men are much more selective with texts or emails they deem need an actual response. Not every communication needs a response. Not every weekend needs to be planned. Not everything needs to be scheduled out 2 months in advance.

Prioritizing emails is not the question.

The question is if one parent is forced to play prioritizer & handler secretary for ALL COMMs and INFO b/c the other is totally checked out.

For me, it continued until he moved out of the country with his new wife, leaving our kid behind. For the years of coparenting leading up to that move, I had to set up daily texts and emails to tell him about scheduling matters, just as I had throughout our marriage. I just had to repeat my daily mantra that I will do what's best for our kid in every situation, no matter what my ex does or doesn't do. Sometimes it meant leaving an event and driving across town to pick up our kid because my ex forgot and his phone was dead. It doesn't get better with divorce.

Did you really think enabling your narcissistic idiot of an ex-husband in neglecting your kid was best for your kid? I would've documented all of that evidence and gone to court to strip him of access. I don't know why there are so many women like you who think that playing doormat to an arrogant idiot makes them a good mom. I get that society has terrible double standards, but you do know that you don't have to uphold them?

DP but what you are suggesting would not be best for the kids. You will never actually get your ex "stripped of access" to the kids unless there is actual evidence of abuse or legal neglect (emotional neglect and being flaky and unreliable will not rise to the level of legal neglect even though it will make a child feel unloved and unimportant). Dragging all of this before a family court to fight a 50/50 custody will just create conflict and animosity, which will impact the kids, and the judge will always just default to "figure it out, it's 50/50." So there is no point.

The PP has it right. You accept that this is the person you procreated with and that for the duration of your kids minority status, you will have to put up with their neglectful and lazy parenting, put your kids first, and pick up all the slack. This is true whether you are married to them are not, it's just the reality of having a child with a bad father. It isn't "enabling" to accept that this is the reality and then make choices that will ensure your kids have at least one parent who is showing up for them when they need someone, even though this will mean you do way more.

Nah. Ferk that. I'd put him through hell until he stepped up or gave up custody to have peace of mind. My soon to be ex is rolling over and agreeing to all my demands even though he's a hateful bully because I've made it clear he can either give in, step up, or spend his life being dragged to court and called out over everything. Like most lazy idiots, he's not going to step up as a parent and he doesn't want to end up impoverished by legal fees with the women he wants to chase scared off by the litigiousness of his ex-wife. So, he's giving in because there's going to be no peace of mind, time, or money for him to get his life together if he thinks he's going to make me the solo parent while retaining just enough legal custody to avoid child support. I'm getting alimony too because I told him point blank that he can either pay me or pay lawyers, but he's not keeping that money.

The idea that I can either let him take advantage of me or else I'm the one creating conflict and acrimony is so stupid. Get yourself into therapy and stop letting these men manipulate you.

To me, this is a moral issue. He wrecked my career with his selfishness while we were married and pulled a bait switch on the kids he begged to have. He is not going to get away with any more now that we're divorced. I'll see him ruined first. The fact that people like you think it's acceptable for women to get cheated in the name of "peace" is why you keep getting taken advantage of by these men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

Lol. As you already know, men aren't stupid. They're lazy, exploitative, and sociopathic. They remarry to find a maid to raise their children because they don't want to do their job as fathers. I bet your ex-wife is doing most of the work of raising the kids and when if kids spend any significant time with you, you have babysitters, nannies, and/or female relatives doing the work. That's why you don't want to get married. You already have women to shift your responsibilities to and don't need another. Don't bother denying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

This. Women usually file for divorce…not men. 70% are initiated by the woman.

I keep hearing this stat on this board; is there a citation?

I don't think it's 70%. It's probably 98%. And the 2% who file must have been violently assaulted by their ex lol. Men simply do not file for divorce. Even in cases when the wife is clearly the issue, they rather suffer in agony, loneliness and despair than file for divorce.

Other men also don't encourage their male friends to file for divorce when divorce is clearly the best option. For women it's a different story. Their friends will endlessly encourage them to do what's best for them and file for divorce.

I think women tend to suffer more internally when they are in a bad marriage because women spend a lot of emotional capital in a marriage. Most men don't spend near the same level of emotional capital as men. Even worse, how many men do you think sit back and evaluate the relationship the way women do? The only time men will think about the state of the relationship is when they are dragged to therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

Lol. As you already know, men aren't stupid. They're lazy, exploitative, and sociopathic. They remarry to find a maid to raise their children because they don't want to do their job as fathers. I bet your ex-wife is doing most of the work of raising the kids and when if kids spend any significant time with you, you have babysitters, nannies, and/or female relatives doing the work. That's why you don't want to get married. You already have women to shift your responsibilities to and don't need another. Don't bother denying it.

You made my point. Why would I remarry if there are plenty of women who will do as you suggested. Y'all don't have to do it. You can go on a strike and "buy" sperm so you can have your own child and not deal with "man-child". It's a choice and you don't have to sign up for it. Instead you sign up for it and endlessly complain. We are not going to change okay. If you go on a strike then we may change. But so far it seems to me women are still signing up. When you stop signing up we can have a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

Lol. As you already know, men aren't stupid. They're lazy, exploitative, and sociopathic. They remarry to find a maid to raise their children because they don't want to do their job as fathers. I bet your ex-wife is doing most of the work of raising the kids and when if kids spend any significant time with you, you have babysitters, nannies, and/or female relatives doing the work. That's why you don't want to get married. You already have women to shift your responsibilities to and don't need another. Don't bother denying it.

You made my point. Why would I remarry if there are plenty of women who will do as you suggested. Y'all don't have to do it. You can go on a strike and "buy" sperm so you can have your own child and not deal with "man-child". It's a choice and you don't have to sign up for it. Instead you sign up for it and endlessly complain. We are not going to change okay. If you go on a strike then we may change. But so far it seems to me women are still signing up. When you stop signing up we can have a conversation.

Now you're talking sense. I said openly, even while I was married, that a vial of sperm for $50 was a better deal than letting the idiot who produced the sperm latch onto you. My ex-husband used to get so angry, but I'm under no obligation to tell lies. Most men simply have no value beyond those microscopic swimmers and, like you, are determined to spend their lives as parasites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

Lol. As you already know, men aren't stupid. They're lazy, exploitative, and sociopathic. They remarry to find a maid to raise their children because they don't want to do their job as fathers. I bet your ex-wife is doing most of the work of raising the kids and when if kids spend any significant time with you, you have babysitters, nannies, and/or female relatives doing the work. That's why you don't want to get married. You already have women to shift your responsibilities to and don't need another. Don't bother denying it.

You made my point. Why would I remarry if there are plenty of women who will do as you suggested. Y'all don't have to do it. You can go on a strike and "buy" sperm so you can have your own child and not deal with "man-child". It's a choice and you don't have to sign up for it. Instead you sign up for it and endlessly complain. We are not going to change okay. If you go on a strike then we may change. But so far it seems to me women are still signing up. When you stop signing up we can have a conversation.

Now you're talking sense. I said openly, even while I was married, that a vial of sperm for $50 was a better deal than letting the idiot who produced the sperm latch onto you. My ex-husband used to get so angry, but I'm under no obligation to tell lies. Most men simply have no value beyond those microscopic swimmers and, like you, are determined to spend their lives as parasites.

Sorry it took you a long time to realize you could have bought sperm instead. That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

Lol. As you already know, men aren't stupid. They're lazy, exploitative, and sociopathic. They remarry to find a maid to raise their children because they don't want to do their job as fathers. I bet your ex-wife is doing most of the work of raising the kids and when if kids spend any significant time with you, you have babysitters, nannies, and/or female relatives doing the work. That's why you don't want to get married. You already have women to shift your responsibilities to and don't need another. Don't bother denying it.

You made my point. Why would I remarry if there are plenty of women who will do as you suggested. Y'all don't have to do it. You can go on a strike and "buy" sperm so you can have your own child and not deal with "man-child". It's a choice and you don't have to sign up for it. Instead you sign up for it and endlessly complain. We are not going to change okay. If you go on a strike then we may change. But so far it seems to me women are still signing up. When you stop signing up we can have a conversation.

Now you're talking sense. I said openly, even while I was married, that a vial of sperm for $50 was a better deal than letting the idiot who produced the sperm latch onto you. My ex-husband used to get so angry, but I'm under no obligation to tell lies. Most men simply have no value beyond those microscopic swimmers and, like you, are determined to spend their lives as parasites.

Sorry it took you a long time to realize you could have bought sperm instead. That sucks.

It sucks more for him. I make sure of it. Can I let him come get some expensive items he forgot when I got a court order booting him out? Can I switch weekends so he can see the kids on his birthday? Can I agree to extend his deadline so it doesn't fall the day after Christmas? Can I agree to installments instead of a lump sum? Nope, nope, nope, and nope! No favors ever. I listed his stuff on eBay and kept the cash. His Dad had to pay me the amounts due to save him from selling separate assets at a massive loss.

Believe me, he wishes he had gotten a surrogate. More and more, we women aren't playing nice with you parasites anymore and it feels good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties woman looking for a husband. I’m dating a lot of divorced days; mid thirties; make good money; have a kid or two. They all want to settle down and be married and are even open for another kid.

It’s definitely raining men! ☺️

Because men are extremely stupid. I am 48 and haven't been divorced for 3 years. I would rather have my d**k chopped off than marry any woman ever again. No thanks I am good. I am sure there extraordinary women out there. But there are plenty of other suitors who will try the marriage thing again.

OP do you really want to marry a divorced man? Think hard for real lol. I am just imagining the drama any woman will walk into by marrying a guy like me with twin daughters. Money isn't an issue. I have my own money and old family money as well. I just don't want anyone to be anywhere near anything resembling remarriage.

Lol. As you already know, men aren't stupid. They're lazy, exploitative, and sociopathic. They remarry to find a maid to raise their children because they don't want to do their job as fathers. I bet your ex-wife is doing most of the work of raising the kids and when if kids spend any significant time with you, you have babysitters, nannies, and/or female relatives doing the work. That's why you don't want to get married. You already have women to shift your responsibilities to and don't need another. Don't bother denying it.

You made my point. Why would I remarry if there are plenty of women who will do as you suggested. Y'all don't have to do it. You can go on a strike and "buy" sperm so you can have your own child and not deal with "man-child". It's a choice and you don't have to sign up for it. Instead you sign up for it and endlessly complain. We are not going to change okay. If you go on a strike then we may change. But so far it seems to me women are still signing up. When you stop signing up we can have a conversation.

Now you're talking sense. I said openly, even while I was married, that a vial of sperm for $50 was a better deal than letting the idiot who produced the sperm latch onto you. My ex-husband used to get so angry, but I'm under no obligation to tell lies. Most men simply have no value beyond those microscopic swimmers and, like you, are determined to spend their lives as parasites.

Sorry it took you a long time to realize you could have bought sperm instead. That sucks.

It sucks more for him. I make sure of it. Can I let him come get some expensive items he forgot when I got a court order booting him out? Can I switch weekends so he can see the kids on his birthday? Can I agree to extend his deadline so it doesn't fall the day after Christmas? Can I agree to installments instead of a lump sum? Nope, nope, nope, and nope! No favors ever. I listed his stuff on eBay and kept the cash. His Dad had to pay me the amounts due to save him from selling separate assets at a massive loss.

Believe me, he wishes he had gotten a surrogate. More and more, we women aren't playing nice with you parasites anymore and it feels good.

You sound crazy. I’m not surprised that you can’t find an emotionally secure and functional man.