Kristi Noem’s bag

[Anonymous]

I don't think she had $3000 cash. She probably just said that so she could get $3000 reimbursed by the government. This is what happens when you put a yokel in the big city.

[Anonymous]

What are the possible reasons behind the "this is all fake" scenario? What could be worth making herself into such a laughing stock?

I haven't had such a good laugh with a DCUM thread since JD Vance killed the trophy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So summarizing the possible explanations for the $3K cash in a Gucci bag she left on a burger place floor:

*she's a drug dealer
*she's having multiple affairs and pays for hotels in cash
*her purse is a go-bag to leave the country at a moment's notice
*she needs cash to cover a glass of wine at dinner because she is so thoroughly honest about business expenses
*she pays the cleaning lady for numerous visits on Easter Sunday
*her family goes to Estate sales on Easter
*she thinks like a blue collar business owner
and last, the one we would not have thought if it it wasn't for the wisdom of the Trump administration,
*she is in a gang

All of these are very possible. I think we need more info to know for sure. But I believe we can safely rule out that she was going to stuff the grandtoddler's Easter ostrich eggs with cash.

Summarized from people living in very small worlds who watch too many movies.

so you're saying we're just too poor and unworldly to understand why a big strong woman of the world might have $3k in cash in her bag on Easter - and not keep enough of an eye on that bag to keep it from being stolen?

You’re proving my point. It’s not just the rich who carry a lot of cash around. And the dumb reasons someone gave on why someone might carry so much cash, people who don’t know anybody who carries cash might live in a world of clones.

are you on meds for your schizophrenia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she had $3000 cash. She probably just said that so she could get $3000 reimbursed by the government. This is what happens when you put a yokel in the big city.

Exactly. What a dumb bunny she is.

[Anonymous]

It seems like a targeted attack. She's been all over the news and in those stupid commercials so it's not far-fetched that random people in DC would recognize her. I won't go so far as to claim it was planned by her, but I won't put it past her or the other MAGAs to exploit this event in a way to impugn DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she had $3000 cash. She probably just said that so she could get $3000 reimbursed by the government. This is what happens when you put a yokel in the big city.

Why would she be reimbursed? If I go on a work trip and get mugged, my company is not reimbursing me.

[Anonymous]

Did her dealer forget to leave the drugs during the dropoff?

Because that's one of the few reasons who need to be walking around DC with 3k in cash on you.

[Anonymous]

Okay, now I think she was giving the bag to her contact because he sat with his back to her and used his feet to drag the bag to him. A white guy wearing a surgical mask. Still unclear why she reported the theft, but Russia making these fools jump through hoops. I’m sure China will drop an AI troll movie about it. 🍿

[Anonymous]

She is dumber than a rock and anyone who’s talked to her for 5 minutes will second that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a staged theft. Think about it:

- she knows there will be negative press and jokes about the head of homeland security who can't secure her own purse
- other politicians have lost their wallet before, yet none felt the need to tell every news outlet. it was so quick and so deliberate
- she had gov security with her; who would be dumb enough to take a purse from a team of security in an enclosed space with no alternate exits, when for all they know, it could be 20 bucks and a pack of gum in there

It doesn't add up.

it makes more sense that there's something bad from her phone that's about to come to light. She needs to find a way to get rid of it or claim it's been tainted.

That is quite the unhinged LWNJ conspiracy theory you have going on there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a staged theft. Think about it:

- she knows there will be negative press and jokes about the head of homeland security who can't secure her own purse
- other politicians have lost their wallet before, yet none felt the need to tell every news outlet. it was so quick and so deliberate
- she had gov security with her; who would be dumb enough to take a purse from a team of security in an enclosed space with no alternate exits, when for all they know, it could be 20 bucks and a pack of gum in there

It doesn't add up.

it makes more sense that there's something bad from her phone that's about to come to light. She needs to find a way to get rid of it or claim it's been tainted.

That is quite the unhinged LWNJ conspiracy theory you have going on there!

LOL that just mans were all getting hotter, the more MAGA freak out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the possible reasons behind the "this is all fake" scenario? What could be worth making herself into such a laughing stock?

I haven't had such a good laugh with a DCUM thread since JD Vance killed the trophy.

Check out the A1 Linda McMahon one - that’s good for a laugh as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she had $3000 cash. She probably just said that so she could get $3000 reimbursed by the government. This is what happens when you put a yokel in the big city.

There would be bank records if she'd withdrawn it recently, as she said she did. It's not an easy thing to fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she had $3000 cash. She probably just said that so she could get $3000 reimbursed by the government. This is what happens when you put a yokel in the big city.

Who would reimburse her?

Seems odd the US Secret Service would not notice someone robbing her. I don't think it happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she had $3000 cash. She probably just said that so she could get $3000 reimbursed by the government. This is what happens when you put a yokel in the big city.

Who would reimburse her?

Seems odd the US Secret Service would not notice someone robbing her. I don't think it happened.

Here's how it was stolen. They have it on surveillance video.

The man who allegedly stole a Gucci bag loaded with cash from Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem was sitting at the table next to hers, according to video of Sunday’s incident reviewed by Secret Service investigators. The surveillance footage of the incident at The Capital Burger restaurant in Washington, DC, showed the suspect purposefully moving close to Noem as he zeroed in on her Gucci bag near her feet, a law enforcement source said. The thief, dressed in dark clothing, sat down at an empty table next to Noem with his back facing her and used his left foot to slide the bag away, the source said. He surveyed the restaurant before eventually picking up the bag, covering it with his jacket and leaving. Only when Noem got up from the table did she realize her bag was missing, the source said.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/22/politics/kristi-noem-theft-gucci-bag-details/index.html