Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Why don’t PTAs get with the times and do virtual meetings like the rest of the world?!

Because it mostly about building community, not accomplishing a list of tasks. We do both, of course, but the virtual meetings are pointless -- might as well send an email to accomplish the same thing.

It's hard to build community when you are excluding a large portion of families.

I find it hard to believe neither mom nor dad is ever available at whatever time your PTA meets.

And I find it hard to believe you think it’s appropriate to schedule an in person meeting during working hours …

It has been explained to you over and over. The world doesn’t revolve around you.

SAHM don’t own the school, as much as they delusionally believe that they do. Our school had PTA meetings at 6pm because the working moms (and dads) were the competent once who knew how to run a 200k budget organization. The SAHM did stupid things like foist their inconvenient momentary pet projects on the school that nobody actually wants. If you cannot figure out how to run meetings that allow attendance by people with j-o-b-s (and on whom you are relying for the bulk of your donations) then you are not completent to run the PTA. OTOH if you just want to control teacher appreciation week, go ahead.

If you can’t figure out how to state your case to your principal to get your meeting moved what kind of use do you think you will be to the PTA? Poor problem solving skills and divisive? Nobody wants your help.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What is there to explain? Much easier to meet without distractions of children and evening routines and needing to arrange childcare. By 8:30 I'm tired.

So am I sweetie, but I try to be inclusive to everyone.

Meeting at 8:30 pm is inclusive to no one sweetie.

DP. It’s more inclusive than 9:30am.

The PP above simply wants the convenience of a daytime meeting. It isn’t merely about convenience for many working professionals. They actually need an evening meeting because they are busy with obligations during the day.

So I’ll take meeting most people’s needs over some people’s wants.

So what did tour principal say when you expressed these concerns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I never demanded this and attended all the evening meetings to accommodate others. BUT, it was very inconvenient for me because my DH worked a late and also unpredictable schedule (part of the reason I SAH). So I usually had to hire/pay a sitter to attend PTA meetings. You probably wouldn’t want have to do that if that were your situation so maybe you can understand you don’t know what other people’s obligations look like.

Sad for your children. Do they ever see him?

Different PP,

But get lost. You’re terrible

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

Why would it annoy people if someone wanted to participate?

Offhand, if the person excluded was your child’s pediatrician who can’t make the meeting right after dropoff because her office is open for sick visits, would you be more willing to move a meeting to 5 or 6?

I’m sure my child’s pediatrician would have no trouble making that meeting given all the times I’ve been prompt and ready for a first appointment of the day and the Dr strolls in 30 mins late. But, OP doesn’t want to participate she wants to spew venom and women she feels beneath her.

OK swap out “your child’s pediatrician” for a woman in a job you do value and respect which cannot be casually moved for a PTA meeting. If it was someone whose expertise you valued, wouldn’t you make accommodations for them?

You are trying to create a pretend issue that doesn't exist. Finding time to volunteer is hard for everyone, literally everyone. If you value it and want to do it, you find the time and make it work. I've been on various schools' PTAs and other volunteer boards of non-profits for 20 years, and know that there is no time of morning, day, or night that is convenient for everyone. Volunteering always comes with a level of inconvenience, but you do it if it is worth it to you.

Ironically no it’s not a problem that doesn’t exist.

Our pediatricians daughter started school and she wanted to join the PTA. Sick hours in her practice started at 7:30 am because…she knows the overwhelming majority of parents have jobs. PTA meetings were at 10:00.

All of the parents who really wanted a pediatrician friend to write them ear infection Rxs and look at photos of their kids weird rashes suddenly were able to change the PTA meetings to 6pm.

What people who won’t make PTA meetings after normal business hours mean is they don’t want someone who is a house cleaner, a mechanic, a nurse or a check-out clerk in their PTA. When it’s a doctor, judge, or i banker, they find a way.

[Anonymous]

I’m a working parent who works 12s and has 2/3 days off midweek. My spouse works 4-midnight. I’m solo parenting every evening and usually driving my kid to some activity, doing dinner, bedtime whatever. I can’t do 7-8pm meetings. I paid to be on our PTO but can’t attend the meetings. I go in and help with stuff at the school though on my days off.
Everyone has different time constraints and different gifts to offer.
If the majority of people on the pta are sahm they’re going to choose times that work for them. They’re volunteers, I don’t begrudge them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a working parent who works 12s and has 2/3 days off midweek. My spouse works 4-midnight. I’m solo parenting every evening and usually driving my kid to some activity, doing dinner, bedtime whatever. I can’t do 7-8pm meetings. I paid to be on our PTO but can’t attend the meetings. I go in and help with stuff at the school though on my days off.
Everyone has different time constraints and different gifts to offer.
If the majority of people on the pta are sahm they’re going to choose times that work for them. They’re volunteers, I don’t begrudge them.

If the PTA has meetings during the day because SAHM can’t figure out what to do with their kids once a month from 6-7, I am not donating or helping with fundraising. People steal money from PTAs all the time, and holding meetings when the people most likely to notice irregularities cannot come is very bad for accountability.

[Anonymous]

The most rabid PTA moms in my experience are the full time working moms with a chip on their shoulder and something to prove.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a working parent who works 12s and has 2/3 days off midweek. My spouse works 4-midnight. I’m solo parenting every evening and usually driving my kid to some activity, doing dinner, bedtime whatever. I can’t do 7-8pm meetings. I paid to be on our PTO but can’t attend the meetings. I go in and help with stuff at the school though on my days off.
Everyone has different time constraints and different gifts to offer.
If the majority of people on the pta are sahm they’re going to choose times that work for them. They’re volunteers, I don’t begrudge them.

I don’t begrudge them their hobby, but I find it incredibly tiresome how much complaining they do about how no one will participate in that hobby, when they intentionally exclude the majority of parents. If you want participation, be inclusive, and if you want everything done to suit your own preferences, don’t be surprised when others opt out.

It’s not rocket science to rotate meeting times, recognizing no time works for everyone but most times work for someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

Why would it annoy people if someone wanted to participate?

Offhand, if the person excluded was your child’s pediatrician who can’t make the meeting right after dropoff because her office is open for sick visits, would you be more willing to move a meeting to 5 or 6?

I’m sure my child’s pediatrician would have no trouble making that meeting given all the times I’ve been prompt and ready for a first appointment of the day and the Dr strolls in 30 mins late. But, OP doesn’t want to participate she wants to spew venom and women she feels beneath her.

OK swap out “your child’s pediatrician” for a woman in a job you do value and respect which cannot be casually moved for a PTA meeting. If it was someone whose expertise you valued, wouldn’t you make accommodations for them?

You are trying to create a pretend issue that doesn't exist. Finding time to volunteer is hard for everyone, literally everyone. If you value it and want to do it, you find the time and make it work. I've been on various schools' PTAs and other volunteer boards of non-profits for 20 years, and know that there is no time of morning, day, or night that is convenient for everyone. Volunteering always comes with a level of inconvenience, but you do it if it is worth it to you.

Ironically no it’s not a problem that doesn’t exist.

Our pediatricians daughter started school and she wanted to join the PTA. Sick hours in her practice started at 7:30 am because…she knows the overwhelming majority of parents have jobs. PTA meetings were at 10:00.

All of the parents who really wanted a pediatrician friend to write them ear infection Rxs and look at photos of their kids weird rashes suddenly were able to change the PTA meetings to 6pm.

What people who won’t make PTA meetings after normal business hours mean is they don’t want someone who is a house cleaner, a mechanic, a nurse or a check-out clerk in their PTA. When it’s a doctor, judge, or i banker, they find a way.

Give us a break. You are really stretching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

Why would it annoy people if someone wanted to participate?

Offhand, if the person excluded was your child’s pediatrician who can’t make the meeting right after dropoff because her office is open for sick visits, would you be more willing to move a meeting to 5 or 6?

I’m sure my child’s pediatrician would have no trouble making that meeting given all the times I’ve been prompt and ready for a first appointment of the day and the Dr strolls in 30 mins late. But, OP doesn’t want to participate she wants to spew venom and women she feels beneath her.

OK swap out “your child’s pediatrician” for a woman in a job you do value and respect which cannot be casually moved for a PTA meeting. If it was someone whose expertise you valued, wouldn’t you make accommodations for them?

You are trying to create a pretend issue that doesn't exist. Finding time to volunteer is hard for everyone, literally everyone. If you value it and want to do it, you find the time and make it work. I've been on various schools' PTAs and other volunteer boards of non-profits for 20 years, and know that there is no time of morning, day, or night that is convenient for everyone. Volunteering always comes with a level of inconvenience, but you do it if it is worth it to you.

Ironically no it’s not a problem that doesn’t exist.

Our pediatricians daughter started school and she wanted to join the PTA. Sick hours in her practice started at 7:30 am because…she knows the overwhelming majority of parents have jobs. PTA meetings were at 10:00.

All of the parents who really wanted a pediatrician friend to write them ear infection Rxs and look at photos of their kids weird rashes suddenly were able to change the PTA meetings to 6pm.

What people who won’t make PTA meetings after normal business hours mean is they don’t want someone who is a house cleaner, a mechanic, a nurse or a check-out clerk in their PTA. When it’s a doctor, judge, or i banker, they find a way.

Give us a break. You are really stretching.

My PTA meetings are at six, no stretch needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a working parent who works 12s and has 2/3 days off midweek. My spouse works 4-midnight. I’m solo parenting every evening and usually driving my kid to some activity, doing dinner, bedtime whatever. I can’t do 7-8pm meetings. I paid to be on our PTO but can’t attend the meetings. I go in and help with stuff at the school though on my days off.
Everyone has different time constraints and different gifts to offer.
If the majority of people on the pta are sahm they’re going to choose times that work for them. They’re volunteers, I don’t begrudge them.

I don’t begrudge them their hobby, but I find it incredibly tiresome how much complaining they do about how no one will participate in that hobby, when they intentionally exclude the majority of parents. If you want participation, be inclusive, and if you want everything done to suit your own preferences, don’t be surprised when others opt out.

It’s not rocket science to rotate meeting times, recognizing no time works for everyone but most times work for someone.

What are you doing to fix the problem instead of complaining here?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

More likely achievable? Despite all the working and SAHM parents here telling you otherwise? But this is an issue for you to address with your school. No need to insult other parents who have different schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most rabid PTA moms in my experience are the full time working moms with a chip on their shoulder and something to prove.

They are sick stinking up the rooms smelly asses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

More likely achievable? Despite all the working and SAHM parents here telling you otherwise? But this is an issue for you to address with your school. No need to insult other parents who have different schedules.

let me explain the difference to you between mandatory and discretionary activities …