Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want men like yourself who aren't wealthy, failed at marriage and have children to support then just focus on your career and raising your children. Times have changed, women don't need men, they can be independent.

There aren't that many single, child free rich men out there in that age range, most are married to mothers of their own children who actually are good partners. It would be counterintuitive to marry women who already failed at making wealth, being good and loyal partners and bring little to the table but children to be raised and financial needs to be fulfilled.

This is it right here.

Any HVM isn’t going to want an older, bitter divorced woman with her dirty unruly kids. If you’re in a marriage that failed why would he be interested? If they’re doing well they’re already married to HVW who bring a lot to the table.

If they are divorced they’re dating younger women with no kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

By the time a woman is in her 40's, she should've enough financial stability to not worry about a partner's finances, if she doesn't then she shouldn't be judging their finances.

she does have to protect finances though. This is where it gets tricky.

Yes, as dating or moving in with a man who is way below her own purchasing power will require subsidizing him to travel, entertain and eat out at her level. I am rather frugal and a woman but I do spend about $25k annually on travel. It’s not Ritz or business class travel, but rather standard Airbnbs and one international trip a year

Well then what's the solution? These men aren't acceptable for you and you aren't acceptable for wealthy. Enjoy traveling, live your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want men like yourself who aren't wealthy, failed at marriage and have children to support then just focus on your career and raising your children. Times have changed, women don't need men, they can be independent.

There aren't that many single, child free rich men out there in that age range, most are married to mothers of their own children who actually are good partners. It would be counterintuitive to marry women who already failed at making wealth, being good and loyal partners and bring little to the table but children to be raised and financial needs to be fulfilled.

This is it right here.

Any HVM isn’t going to want an older, bitter divorced woman with her dirty unruly kids. If you’re in a marriage that failed why would he be interested? If they’re doing well they’re already married to HVW who bring a lot to the table.

If they are divorced they’re dating younger women with no kids.

Many divorced women did succeed in making wealth, have highly successful kids and had long and productive marriages, just growing apart with men. You sounds bitter: it’s not a HVW man by definition if he’s still single in his 40-50s, and never had a relationship or kids. These are men with deep issues or usual sexual preferences.
I date divorced men with kids and many of them are more stable emotionally and financially than never married crowd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

By the time a woman is in her 40's, she should've enough financial stability to not worry about a partner's finances, if she doesn't then she shouldn't be judging their finances.

she does have to protect finances though. This is where it gets tricky.

Yes, as dating or moving in with a man who is way below her own purchasing power will require subsidizing him to travel, entertain and eat out at her level. I am rather frugal and a woman but I do spend about $25k annually on travel. It’s not Ritz or business class travel, but rather standard Airbnbs and one international trip a year

Well then what's the solution? These men aren't acceptable for you and you aren't acceptable for wealthy. Enjoy traveling, live your life.

I’m totally acceptable for men who are making around what I make. Dated plenty of them, and in a relationship now. I don’t sleep around much, and was highly selective though

[Anonymous]

Its not about what you want, everyone wants a whole package, its about what options you have.

Take lemons and make lemonade. Don't risk bitter taste and drink plain water. Keep hoping for sparkling vitamin water to go on sale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look somewhere else. I've heard if you can get into a private school banquet/party they have better pickings. Also the various private athletic clubs. Lots of wealthy divorced men around here IF you know where to look. You won't find them online.

Are you a vulture coach?

I (a woman) have really never met women who operates like this.

But all of my friends are well educated and independent. We don’t judge our male companions by the size of their wallets.

All women operate like this.

Unless you are god or a middle school kid, you don't know or pretend to know all women.

Plenty of women have more money than their partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

By the time a woman is in her 40's, she should've enough financial stability to not worry about a partner's finances, if she doesn't then she shouldn't be judging their finances.

she does have to protect finances though. This is where it gets tricky.

Yes, as dating or moving in with a man who is way below her own purchasing power will require subsidizing him to travel, entertain and eat out at her level. I am rather frugal and a woman but I do spend about $25k annually on travel. It’s not Ritz or business class travel, but rather standard Airbnbs and one international trip a year

Well then what's the solution? These men aren't acceptable for you and you aren't acceptable for wealthy. Enjoy traveling, live your life.

I’m totally acceptable for men who are making around what I make. Dated plenty of them, and in a relationship now. I don’t sleep around much, and was highly selective though

Good for you but not many unicorns out there and your current unicorn still hasn't put a ring on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

By the time a woman is in her 40's, she should've enough financial stability to not worry about a partner's finances, if she doesn't then she shouldn't be judging their finances.

she does have to protect finances though. This is where it gets tricky.

Yes, as dating or moving in with a man who is way below her own purchasing power will require subsidizing him to travel, entertain and eat out at her level. I am rather frugal and a woman but I do spend about $25k annually on travel. It’s not Ritz or business class travel, but rather standard Airbnbs and one international trip a year

Well then what's the solution? These men aren't acceptable for you and you aren't acceptable for wealthy. Enjoy traveling, live your life.

I’m totally acceptable for men who are making around what I make. Dated plenty of them, and in a relationship now. I don’t sleep around much, and was highly selective though

Good for you but not many unicorns out there and your current unicorn still hasn't put a ring on it.

I’m not looking to remarry myself it’s out of question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want men like yourself who aren't wealthy, failed at marriage and have children to support then just focus on your career and raising your children. Times have changed, women don't need men, they can be independent.

There aren't that many single, child free rich men out there in that age range, most are married to mothers of their own children who actually are good partners. It would be counterintuitive to marry women who already failed at making wealth, being good and loyal partners and bring little to the table but children to be raised and financial needs to be fulfilled.

This is it right here.

Any HVM isn’t going to want an older, bitter divorced woman with her dirty unruly kids. If you’re in a marriage that failed why would he be interested? If they’re doing well they’re already married to HVW who bring a lot to the table.

If they are divorced they’re dating younger women with no kids.

Many divorced women did succeed in making wealth, have highly successful kids and had long and productive marriages, just growing apart with men. You sounds bitter: it’s not a HVW man by definition if he’s still single in his 40-50s, and never had a relationship or kids. These are men with deep issues or usual sexual preferences.
I date divorced men with kids and many of them are more stable emotionally and financially than never married crowd

Attractive successful NICE women at any age can find a man.

80% of women want 20% of the top men. When the women start aging (40+), most men their age are already taken. The good ones are mostly still married. The good divorced ones are just picking others, not OP. They may have found someone like OP sooner or found a younger version of OP.

I have friends with older single moms. They are widowed or divorced but all have money. My adult friends are so upset at all the losers their moms are hanging out with. If you think it is slim pickings at age 45, you have 55 and 60 to look forward to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So go camping with him, and go to The Ritz with your girlfriends.

I tried that in the past, men are territorial, feel abandoned and grow very resentful being left out her social life, travel and entertainment

[Anonymous]

My 2cents advice for divorced moms is to not risk your sanity and children's lives yet again. Enjoy life, raise kids, succeed in career, have friends, have hobbies, build wealth, take care of physical and mental health. Perimenopause is right around the corner, don't add unnecessary stress in your lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

I agree. You don't need to spend 20k on a long trip to have a good time. Using money as the only measure of entertainment/experience is unimaginative.

[Anonymous]

Modern divorce bankrupts many men, no joke! It is why men are shying away from marriage. It is too much of a financial risk now. They could lose everything they've built.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want men like yourself who aren't wealthy, failed at marriage and have children to support then just focus on your career and raising your children. Times have changed, women don't need men, they can be independent.

There aren't that many single, child free rich men out there in that age range, most are married to mothers of their own children who actually are good partners. It would be counterintuitive to marry women who already failed at making wealth, being good and loyal partners and bring little to the table but children to be raised and financial needs to be fulfilled.

This is it right here.

Any HVM isn’t going to want an older, bitter divorced woman with her dirty unruly kids. If you’re in a marriage that failed why would he be interested? If they’re doing well they’re already married to HVW who bring a lot to the table.

If they are divorced they’re dating younger women with no kids.

Many divorced women did succeed in making wealth, have highly successful kids and had long and productive marriages, just growing apart with men. You sounds bitter: it’s not a HVW man by definition if he’s still single in his 40-50s, and never had a relationship or kids. These are men with deep issues or usual sexual preferences.
I date divorced men with kids and many of them are more stable emotionally and financially than never married crowd

Attractive successful NICE women at any age can find a man.

80% of women want 20% of the top men. When the women start aging (40+), most men their age are already taken. The good ones are mostly still married. The good divorced ones are just picking others, not OP. They may have found someone like OP sooner or found a younger version of OP.

I have friends with older single moms. They are widowed or divorced but all have money. My adult friends are so upset at all the losers their moms are hanging out with. If you think it is slim pickings at age 45, you have 55 and 60 to look forward to.

My current partner is 48, I’m 45. I did date mostly men 50-59 but ended up with someone close to my age. Men over 50 were telling me on dates that unfortunately very few 50+ women look as good as their pictures, or these women don’t want sex so men end up dating younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

I agree. You don't need to spend 20k on a long trip to have a good time. Using money as the only measure of entertainment/experience is unimaginative.

I posted before about often paying for lodging for my friends and family. I don’t want to stay at a $200 hotel when I’m used to $2000 hotels. If that is what OP wants, that is fine but it is unrealistic to find someone who can afford 20k vacations. She should pay for the 20k trip she wants and let her boyfriend join and spend 3k to fly there and hang out with her and maybe chip in for some meals. If they are not getting married and never joining finances, I don’t think the guy’s financial should matter so much.